Suzanne Venker - How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women

Testimonials for Suzanne Venker:

A voice in th e wilderness.

You have massively impacted the way I see and deal with men. Because of you, I started dating with a clear goal in mind (marriage and children) and also with discipline. At twenty-five, this led me to my now boyfriend who soon will be my fianc, husband, and hopefully father of my children. Thank you from the bottom of my soul for the enlightening and truthful work that you share w ith the world!

As a recovering feminist, the detoxing from such a harmful message and brainwashing so prevalent in our culture is a long process. Suzanne challenges the narratives and provides practical tools to live the alternative, which is a life that is more in line with our biology and what most of us actually desire. Keep up the good w ork! A reader

Thank you, Suzanne, for being courageous to speak out against the mainstream agenda that was hurting and confusin g me. Daniela

I wish I would have come across this twenty years ago when I was younger and really struggling to understand roles in relationships. I am so happy to have found it now so I can apply this advice to my current relationship. Thank you, Suzanne!

I almost failed miserably at marriage and parenthood because of the lies of the feminist movement. Suzanne is real. And smart. She sheds the light and the truth on what is most important in life: love, companionship, and connec tion. Tiffany

As a twenty-two-year-old woman in her senior year of college, I have been craving the message and information Suzanne has been putting out. Thank you, Suzanne, for putting age-old knowledge we have somehow forgotten back into our society so young women like me who hadnt heard much of it can learn from it and be better women and partners for ou r men. Lorene

I love sharing [Suzanne] with jaded lonely girlfriend s, lol. Annie

Opened my eyes to realize how much of our junk food culture has trickled into my life and how to fight back! MD Mom

The world and my own mother havent spoken to me about any of this. Schools and the media taught me that career comes first and that I would be happy even without getting married and not having children. I find this extremely harmful, especially for women. I thought what I was feeling wasnt quite normal until I found your work. Thank you sooo much, Suzanne! Lily from Australia

I love, love, love the work you do. Its SO important. You are a true culture war rior. Alyssa

You. Are. Brill iant. Alexis

You are like the unofficial Internet Mom who has the wisdom and experience to help guide us through problems. I often find myself going on walks and listening to 20 minutes of Suzanne Venker and feel clearer and calmer after wards. Shiva

Best advice EVER! Katie

Suzanne Venker is filled with a ton of wisdom. Younger ladies & men can learn so much from her. Her videos are like chapters in dating cours es. Olayinka

Solid advice for people in an actual good quality marriage. [Suzanne Venker is] pretty much at the top-of-the-pile for information regarding this sort of thing. Craig

Also by Suzanne Venker

The Alpha Females Guide to Men and Marriage:
How Love Works

Women Wh o Win at Love:
How to Build a Relation ship That Lasts

The T wo-Income Trap:

Why Parents Are Choosin g to Stay Home

A POST HILL PRESS BOOK

ISBN: 978-1-63758-052-3

ISBN (eBook): 978-1-63758-053-0

How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched):

A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women

2021 by Suzanne Venker

All Rights Reserved

Although every effort has been made to ensure that the personal advice present within this book is useful and appropriate, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any person choosing to employ the guidance offered in this book.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author and publisher.

Post Hill Press

New York Nashville

posthillpress.com

Published in the United States of America

*NOTE: This book is an updated and revised version of the original book, with new material added.

for Emma, whos been detoxed
since the day she was born

And as always, to my husband Bill, whose support and encouragement of my work has been unwavering since day one. Youre the best husband a girl could ever have.

Contents

Just because everything is different doesnt mean
anything has changed.

Irene Peter

I first wrote this book some ten years ago now, and I find it mind-boggling how much more strained the relationship between the sexes has become since then. Modern marriage is a messas a coach, I see it every dayand traditional dating is dead. Men and women have never been more in the dark about to how to build a relationship that lasts.

There are many reasons for this sad state of affairs, some of which I cover in this book. But rather than focus on the why, I want to focus on helping you rise above the fray so you can succeed in life and in love.

To begin, I must apologize on behalf of your mothers and mentors. Your generation got seriously screwed.

You may have heard this argument before with respect to the debt your generation was encouraged to accrue, but thats only part of it. Equally significant, more significant actually, are matters of the heart.

Many of you are products of divorces and remarriages and come-and-go love. From your vantage point, relationships dont last. Even if that isnt the case, even your parents are married, almost no young woman today is raised to grow up and get marriedand you certainly werent taught how to love a man, the way your grandmother likely was. If anything, you were taught to disassociate from men and to depend entirely on yourself for everythingas if men have nothing to offer.

This attitude youve been groomed to harbor is the reason you have yet to be successful in love. Youve been mentally preparing for your relationships to go wrong because youve had no modeling or tutoring for how to get it right.

How to Get Hitched seeks to change that, and I wrote it for two specific groups of women: twenty-somethings who feel out of step for wanting to get married and have kids sooner rather than later, and thirty-somethings who are still single but wish they werent.

You are not the problem. Society is.

How could you not be struggling? Unlike every other generation in history, yours was taught to postpone marriage indefinitely or to ignore it altogether, as though having a happy marriage and family were unrelated to your happiness and well-being. As though it were a nice idea, or a possible accompaniment, to an otherwise satisfying life.

This message has been so strong for so long that its now chic to be single. Living alone comports with modern values. It promotes freedom, personal control, and self-realizationall prized aspects of contemporary life, wrote Eric Klinenberg, author of Flying Solo .

But if flying solo is so great, why are online dating sites a billion dollar industry, replete with clients looking to get hitched?

Sure, being single can be funfor a while. But most people dont want to stay single forever. Men and women are irrevocably drawn together. Since the beginning of time, this attraction has been the driving force of our survival as a species and has almost always resulted in marriage.

Not anymore.