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52 Dates for You and Your Mate
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Empty Nesting
Family Moments
Love Life for Parents
Marriage Moments
Quiet Whispers from Gods Heart for Couples
The Second Half of Marriage
Suddenly Theyre 13!
Video Curriculum
10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage
PEP Groups for Parents
The Second Half of Marriage
ZONDERVAN
10 Great Dates Before You Say I Do
Copyright 2003 by David and Claudia Arp and Curt and Natelle Brown
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.
ePub Edition JULY 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-31612-1
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
10 great dates before you say I do / David and Claudia Arp and Curt and Natelle Brown.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0310247322
1. Dating (Social customs). 2. Mate selection. 3. Mate selectionReligious aspects-Christianity. I. Title: Ten great dates before you say I do. II. Arp, Dave.
HQ801 .A12 2003
646.77-dc21
2002014056
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.
The names and identifying details of the individuals in the stories within have been changed to protect their privacy.
Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.
To our son, Courtney, and our daughter, Carissa
May you each meet and marry the love of your life, and may you
enjoy these 10 great dates before you say I do
Curt and Natelle
To all those who mentor and work with seriously
dating and engaged couples
May this resource complement the important role you play in
pre-marriage education
Dave and Claudia
Contents
Sharing Hopes, Dreams, and Expectations |
Appreciating Your Differences |
Communicating and Connecting |
Solving Problems as a Couple |
Celebrating Intimacy, Love, and Romance |
Realizing Roles and Planning for Family |
Developing Spiritual Intimacy |
Choosing an Intentional Marriage |
Y OUR 10 G REAT D ATES D ATING G UIDE |
We are deeply indebted to the many people who contributed to this project and gratefully acknowledge the contributions of the following people:
- All the seriously dating, engaged, and newlywed couples whom we have had the privilege to mentor and coach and to all the couples who tested these 10 great dates;
- All the many couples who have participated in our Marriage Alive seminars over the years and who have shared with us your struggles and success stories;
- Those who have pioneered pre-marriage education and on whose shoulders we stand including David Olson, Les and Leslie Parrott, David and Vera Mace, Norm Wright, Emily and Dennis Lowe, and our friends at PREP, including Scott Stanley, Howard Markman, Susan Blumberg and Natalie Jenkins. We especially thank Barbara Markey and Mike and Harriet McManus for your helpful suggestions in preparing this manuscript and to Dianne Sollee for all you have done and are doing to encourage pre-marriage and marriage education;
- The many other researchers and authors from whom we quoted, for your sound work that gives a solid base for the cause of pre-marriage education;
- Our Zondervan team who have believed and supported us over the years, for your encouragement and excitement about this new resource. We especially thank our publisher, Scott Bolinder, our editors, Sandy Vander Zicht and Angela Scheff, and our marketing team, John Topliff, Greg Stielstra, and Cindy Wilcox, for helping to get the word out, and to Curt Diepenhorst for making the cover so appealing. We also thank author relations experts, Joyce Ondersma and Jackie Aldridge, for taking such good care of us;
- Our literary agent, Greg Johnson of Alive Communications, for being our advocate, and encouraging us along the way.
Welcome to your own personal 10 Great Dates! Were glad you are taking the time to get to know each other better. We hope you will relax and enjoy focusing on the present while preparing for the future. Whether you are engaged or seriously considering marriage, youll have the opportunity to see your relationship more clearly, to pay attention to each other, and to laugh and affirm one another.
Our dates have been crafted to help seriously dating and engaged couples evaluate their relationships and decide if they want to take the next step. If you have already made the commitment to marry, these dates will help you confirm that you are indeed ready for marriage and you can move ahead with confidence that marriage is your next best step! And as you are confirming your commitment, dont forget to have some fun along the way.
Each date will help you concentrate on a specific skill needed to build a successful marriage. You will learn how to communicate better and handle the differences we promise will appear!
Our dates are based on more than two decades of experience and practical input from couples who have participated in our Marriage Alive seminars and 10 Great Dates programs as well as input from many engaged couples. Our dates are also based on the sage advice from marital researchers and those who have designed helpful marital inventories and pre-marriage preparation programs. You can trust each date to be a faithful guide in enriching your relationship now and in the years ahead.
While you are dating, we hope you are also taking advantage of other resources to help you prepare for marriage. Perhaps you have already signed up for a premarital education class. If not, please take advantage of one of the excellent premarital inventories like PREPARE and FOCCUS that will help you assess your strengths and weaknesses. Conferences, video programs, and books about preparing for marriage (like this one) can give valuable insights (see Appendix). You may also want to consider premarital counseling and mentoring opportunities.