Randy Southern - 52 Uncommon Dates. A Couples Adventure Guide for Praying, Playing, and Staying Together

2014 by
CHRISTOPHER HUDSON & ASSOCIATES, INC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Manuscript created with the assistance of Christopher Hudson & Associates, Inc. ( www.HudsonBible.com ).

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189, U.S.A. All rights reserved.

Interior and cover design: Julia Ryan / www.DesignByJulia.com
Cover images: Twig art of 5 Shutterstock/Ron & Joe; background generic city map Shutterstock/Robert Adrian Hillman; 2 Shutterstock/Roman Siggev; illustration Julia Ryan; paper strips Graphicstock.com .

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

52 uncommon dates : a couples adventure guide for praying, playing, and staying together.

pages cm

Summary: 52 Uncommon Dates ignites a prayerful and playful connection in a way that feels natural for couples to schedule and relate to real life. Fun, creative, and spiritually engaging, this powerful resource will revive the relational, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of your relationship, one date at a time-- Provided by publisher.

ISBN 978-0-8024-1174-7 (paperback)

1. Dating (Social customs) 2. Dating (Social customs)--Religious aspects--Christianity.

3. Marriage--Religious aspects--Christianity. 4. Interpersonal relations--Religious aspects--Christianity. I. Title. II. Title: Fifty-two uncommon dates.

HQ801.S6762 2014

241.676--dc23

2014006898

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M any couples stop dating when they get married. Their minds say, Okay, were through with the dating stage. Weve reached our goal. We are now married. So lets get on with the more important stuff of life such as work, completing an education, acquiring a house, and perhaps having a baby. Dating is viewed as a prelude to marriage. It was important, it served its purpose, but now its time to get serious about life.

It is this kind of reasoning that leads couples to forget that their relationship with each other is what marriage is all about. The vocations, cars, houses, and other possessions will become meaningless if the relationship dies. Thousands of divorced individuals have walked this road. Marriages must be nurtured if they are to flourish. They are not nurtured when all of our time and energy are spent on other pursuits, even the raising of children. The best thing we can do for our children is to keep our marriages vibrant and growing.

Dating is to marriage what breathing is to the body. It brings in fresh oxygen to nourish the cells of matrimony. Couples who continue dating after the wedding are far more likely to have a healthy marriage. The choice to date communicates the message, I still love you. I still enjoy being with you. Im still glad I married you. However, in order to make dating a reality we face several challenges.

First is the challenge of time. There are so many voices calling for our attention; the loudest of which is our vocation and/or graduate studies. Both of these pursuits require large chunks of our time. Beyond that is what we commonly call household chores: cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, doing the laundry, cleaning toilets, and so forth. And, of course, there is the call of sleep, which, if it is not heeded, will influence all the rest of life.

One wife said, I would love for us to date, but I simply dont have time. So what is the answer to the time dilemma? I believe it is found in one word: prioritize! We decide the things that are important in our lives. Once we rank them as highly important, we make time for them. Most of us make time to eat and sleep because we value these as extremely important to life. If we see our marriage relationship as being high priority, we can make time for dating.

The second challenge is creating a positive, emotional climate so we enjoy being together. This is why it is so important that we discover and learn to speak each others primary love language. The euphoria of the in love experience has evaporated. We must consciously choose to speak love to our spouse in a language that touches their emotions. My book The 5 Love Languages has helped millions of couples learn how to keep emotional love alive through the years. The second essential in creating a positive emotional climate is dealing effectively with our failures. None of us are perfect. We sometimes say and do things that hurt each other. These hurts do not simply go away with the passing of time. We must be willing to apologize for our failures and willing to forgive each other. Without apologies and forgiveness, we will build an emotional barrier between us. Such barriers discourage dating.

When we learn to communicate love effectively and deal realistically with our failures, we create a positive, emotional climate that encourages us to enjoy life together. This kind of climate encourages us to continue dating after marriage.

The third challenge is what to do on a date. We are creatures of habit, and we tend to get into ruts. Going to the same restaurants and doing the same thing date after date eventually becomes mundane. We are hardly aware we are dating; we are now simply going out to eat. This is where Randy Southern offers help in 52 Uncommon Dates. The word uncommon means unusual. I can assure you that many of the dates Randy suggests are unusual. They are not things you would likely come up with on your own, but once you try them, you will be glad you did. If you date once a week, this book provides a full year of suggestions. If you date every other week, here are two years of suggestions. If you get out only once a month, you can look forward to more than four years of uncommon dates you will never forget.