Abelson Jenn - I have the right to: a high school survivors story of sexual assault, justice, and hope

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To my sisters, Lucy and Christianna, and my sisters and brothers in survivorship

C. P.

To brave girls and women everywhere

J. A.

You cant go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

C. S. LEWIS

T here is no one narrative for a survivor of sexual assault. We all have our own journey; youll read about Chessy Prouts in the pages to come. Mine began nearly four decades ago on a winter evening, at a prestigious college campus on the East Coast. I was an eighteen-year-old student, going to a dance at a fraternity house with friends. We danced, we listened to music, we enjoyed the party. Until one young man assaulted me in a crude and insulting way, and I ran, alone, into the cold dark night.

I have never forgotten that night. I was filled with shame, regret, and humiliation, while he was egged on and encouraged by his friends.

Several years later, while working as a legislative aide on Capitol Hill, I was assaulted again, this time by a distinguished guest of the US Congress. I was twenty-three years old, and I didnt say a word to anyone. And then one night walking home from a diner just a few blocks from the Capitol, I was mugged and grabbed. When I broke free, I ran again, alone, into the cold dark night.

I never told anyone. My family didnt knownot my husband, my children, my friends. The truth is that my experiences are not remarkable or unique. Sadly, they are all too common.

I lived in silence for most of my life. But in June 2016, Emily Doe, the survivor of the brutal assault by Brock Turner at Stanford University, bravely shared her story. Her powerful words and the severe failure of the justice system to hold her assailant accountable inspired me to publicly tell my stories. Since that time, Ive been heartened to see more courageous young women come forward to shed light on the all-too-persistent culture of sexual violence in our nation.

I was blown away when I saw Chessy Prouts interview on the Today show in August 2016. Her poise, strength, and courage reflected a young woman wise beyond her years. I saw in Chessy someone who wasnt satisfied with the status quo and who was ready to take matters into her own hands.

I also had the realization that forty years of my generations silence had helped create the system that Chessy and her contemporaries are fighting to tear down. A system that blames the victim. A system in which justice is too easily escaped by those who prey upon their fellow students, service members, and citizens.

It is time to push back.

As Chessy was going public with her story and taking back her own identity, I was inspired by her and other survivors to begin working on Capitol Hill to establish a group dedicated to ending sexual violence. Sexual violence is not a Republican or Democratic issue: its a challenge that faces all our communities, our military, and our institutions of learning.

I was encouraged to find members of the US Congress, men and women, Republican and Democrat, who were willing to take on this effort. The Bipartisan Task Force to End Sexual Violence is still growing in numbers but is already beginning to serve as a catalyst for change. We continue to educate our fellow lawmakers and push for reforms that will help empower survivors and prevent these crimes from occurring.

We can change the laws, but what really needs to change is the culture of sexual violence. That begins with conversations and the strength to speak truth to power as Chessy is so bravely doing.

I first met Chessy and her family in a coffee shop on Capitol Hill. We told our stories and realized that we shared a mission of education, advocacy, and empowerment in our quest to end sexual violence.

I invited her to join our panel for a film screening and discussion on Capitol Hill focused on the challenges the digital age is presenting to survivors of sexual violence. With her confidence and quiet resolve, Chessy made quite an impression on the members of Congress she met that evening. Chessy is helping to lead a generation of young people who are shaking up the system and saying, Enough is enough.

Since that time, Ive had the opportunity to work and meet with Chessy on several occasions and I continue to be impressed by her courage and resolve. So much of what she eloquently writes about has been a mystery to me for the past forty years of my life. I recognize the tears, the nightmares, the anger, and the loneliness, even when our family and friends surround us with love. But luckily, and most importantly, I recognize the inspiration, the resolve, and the hope for a better world that motivates us to become advocates.

Chessy embodies the inspiration and the courage to rise up and take back what is rightfully oursour voice, our autonomy, our hopes and dreams, our future. Its an honor to stand with incredible survivors like Chessy to create a kinder, better, and safer world for everyone to thrive and succeed.

I was in the third class of women at Dartmouth College and I have lived in the shadow of St. Pauls School for sixty years. Chessys description of the hierarchy of influence and privilege on campus and the fear of challenging the status quo is all too familiar to me. For the past forty years, I was silenced by shame and self-blame. But now, through Chessys courage to stand her ground, I have found my voice.

Chessy did not know that, two years after her trial and one year after she went public on the Today show, revelations about Harvey Weinsteins behavior would have millions tweeting Tarana Burkes #MeToo , showing solidarity with those who have experienced sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Chessys case is one of many that led us to the present, where were challenging institutions, Congress included, on the power imbalances that lead to sexual oppression and a system thats set up to keep people silent.

In short, we have arrived at a cultural tipping point. What are we going to do about it?

Together, we can lead a movement for change in our schools and in our society, so that every person can thrive in a world of respect and autonomy.

When I was a young lawyer, raising two sons with my husband, Brad, and managing a demanding workload, I spoke up about fairness and equality for women, promoting equal pay, flexible work schedules, and paid family leave. I remember a male colleague admonishing meYoure rocking the boat, Annie. Dont rock the boat.

Chessy, I am a certified boat rocker and I cant think of a better first mate than you. I believe in you. I am proud of you. And I am honored to change the world with you.

Ann McLane Kuster

US Congress

Concord, New Hampshire

Representative Kuster claiming her rights.

PROLOGUE

I ts May 31, 2014, the night before my older sister, Lucy, graduates from St. Pauls, the boarding school we both attend in New Hampshire. My extended family is here in Concord for the weekend festivities, and Dad, a St. Pauls alum, is bursting with pride.