Bender Michele - Believe me: my battle with the invisible disability of Lyme disease

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To Gigi, Bella, and Anwar,

thank you for teaching me the meaning of unconditional love and for making my life complete.

Thank you for loving me the way that you do and for standing by me every step of the way during this challenging journey.

You are my shining stars and guiding lights and I am so proud of all that you do and all that you are.

To all my fellow Lyme warriors and those whose voices cant be heard, this book is dedicated to your strength, courage, and your ability to fight every day. You are not alone.

The information in this book is not intended to replace the advice of each readers own physician or other licensed medical professional. You should consult a medical professional in all matters relating to your health, especially if you have existing or chronic medical conditions, and before starting, stopping, or changing the doses of any medications you are taking, or any medical or health regimen you are following, under the supervision of a physician or licensed medical professional.

The intention of this book is to recount Yolandas own personal experiences with various chronic medical conditions, in order to raise awareness. It is not intended to give medical advice. Please be aware, and keep clearly in mind, that individual readers are solely responsible for their own health-care decisions. The author and the publisher therefore cannot accept responsibility for any adverse effects individuals may claim to experience, whether directly or indirectly, from the information contained in this book.

The fact that a physician, medical professional, organization, or Web site is mentioned in this book, as a potential source of information or treatments, does not mean that the author or the publisher endorse any particular physician or medical professional, the information they may provide, or the medications, devices or other products, or the courses of treatment they may have recommend in Yolandas case.

Again, individual readers are solely responsible for their own health-care decisions.

GIGI, BELLA, AND ANWAR HADID

Gigi

For a whole year when I was sixteen years old, I watched my mom struggle to understand the pain, confusion, and symptoms that she was experiencing, but that no doctors seemed to have answers for. At one point, she became so ill that she couldnt attend my horse shows or volleyball games anymore, she couldnt watch TV, and in our home where Luther Vandross used to blare through the speakers, things became quiet. My mom used to be a super mom with endless super powers so watching her lose her brain capacity and physical energy was heartbreaking and confusing for me. Finally, after being misdiagnosed with many things such as chronic fatigue syndrome, migraines, and depression, she was diagnosed with chronic neurological Lyme disease in Belgium. We were so excited and thought the ninety-day course of IV antibiotics would cure her. However, I quickly learned that this was not the case for my mom and so many people who suffer from late-stage chronic Lyme. The many years that followed were tough. I watched my mom have endless treatments and work with many doctors all over the world, but without much progress. She never gave up and never stopped fighting although her quality of life continued to diminish drastically. I tried to help and be a source of support but the hardest part for me was not being able to fix her or my siblings.

My mom was diagnosed with Lyme disease after her first season on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills . I remember when she was going into that season of filming, she said to me, I dont know why my life has led me to this show, but for some reason I think it will lead to something bigger. My mom is usually right. But this time she was really, really right. She knew there was a higher purpose for her journey and all of a sudden the shows platform became her vehicle to bring awareness to Lyme. She was honest, unapologetic, and raw in how she shared her journey on the show and through social media. I saw her turn a mess into a message and in no time after she announced her diagnosis to the world, she got thousands of e-mails and letters from families who were suffering and felt lost, misunderstood, and scared. No matter how sick my mom was she would always call some of them, give advice, and lend support.

Unfortunately, there were so many people who were uninformed and quick to shame her, something Ive learned many Lyme patients experience. Yet, my mom rose above it and stayed strong through it all. I have nothing to prove to anyone, she would say. I only want to support and educate people about the mystery of chronic disease. I saw her fight for her life, work relentlessly, and heal strategically one day at a time. More than anything, my mom wanted to give people a road map of her journey so that they will be able to find answers faster with more clarity and in a less stressful way than she had to.

Before my mom got sick, I never really understood the meaning of the word hope, yet today I know my mom is hope for Lyme disease. I am so proud that she is making her journey one that will help so many and that she continues to fight so passionately for a Lyme-free world. I think if someone is going to find a cure, she will probably be the one because her persistent and righteous heart is unbeatable and she wont stop until she finds the answers for my siblings and all children with Lyme so that they can live the pain-free lives they deserve.

Bella

Mommy, Im so proud of you for opening up about a very important and sensitive part of our lives. You didnt choose this path for yourself, nor did you choose to victimize yourself. Instead you continued to raise me, my brother, and sister in the best way possibleyou wrote a book to help all of those suffering around the world whether that be with the invisible disability of chronic Lyme disease, mental wellness, immune diseases, or just being understood in general. You slowly but surely found your happiness again.

I know how hard it was for me to see how much you struggled in the past few years and vice-versa, but to see others constantly judge you and doubt your integrity while you were down was even worse. Hundreds of doctors appointments around the world, countless medications, IVs and remedies, the blood, the pain, and the tears to find healing and help people around the world find their own voice. I admire your relentless search to find a cure and a proper diagnostic affordable for all. Throughout my whole life, I never saw you as anything less than tough as nails so every time you would look at me with tears in your eyes, pain in your bones, bruises on your body from all the needles, in the fetal position, and ask me when this would all be over, I would always say, It will be over soon, Mommy without ever really knowing the answer. Now I can finally say you are coming out of this stronger than ever. Thank you for being so strong and speaking up about our journey. I am so proud and I love you.

Anwar

My mom was a busy single mom who dedicated her life to us and everything that we did until her health declined drastically and she was diagnosed with neurological Lyme disease in 2012, right after we moved to Malibu from our home in Santa Barbara. It was confusing and hard to understand why doctors could not fix her so I spent many nights online educating myself about Lyme disease to sadly learn that there is no cure. But instead of sharing that bad news with my mom, I wanted to give her hope so I only told her about the success stories I read.