Bure - Balancing It All

Balancing It All, Digital Edition

Based on Print Edition

Copyright 2014 by Candache Inc.

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America

978-1-4336-8184-4

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: WOMEN \ CHRISTIAN LIFE \ WORK AND FAMILY

Unless otherwise stated, Scripture is taken from the English Standard Version ( esv ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Also used: Holman Christian Standard Bible ( hcsb ), Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

Also used: New American Standard Bible ( nasb ), the Lockman Foundation, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977; used by permission.

I dedicate this book to my family, friends, and fans.

Without you, I wouldnt have as much to balance!

I love you all!

Acknowledgments

From Candace:

Id like to thank Jennifer Lyell for believing that Im more than a one-hit wonder. Its because of your encouragement, enthusiasm, and insight that I was able draw out the practical truths of my life and use them as a witnessing opportunity. You saw in me what I couldnt see myself. I am blessed to have you as my editor and friend.

Dana Wilkerson, theres nothing like being thrown together and getting to know each other really quickly! I couldnt have done this without you. Thank you for all your hard work and efforts. You are a superstar!

Mom and Dad, youve been my rock-solid example when it comes to family. Youve continued a generational legacy with your commitment to one another through good times and difficult ones. Thank you for being an example of a godly marriage. I love you with all my heart.

Id also like to thank Jeffery Brooks and Ford Englerth for effortlessly handling all the details including my vision for the cover shoot. Thank you to Tara Brooks, Rowan Daly, and Juliet Vo. My sincerest thanks to B&H Publishing for your continued support and trust. Thank you to everyone including my Twitter and Facebook followers who prayed for me through this book, with a special shout-out to Stacy W.

To my beautiful family, thank you for your patience, love, and support when you see your wife and mom stare at a computer screen for countless hours at weeks on end. I cant promise it wont happen again. And to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to You all glory is given; for it wasnt me who did a thing, but You who sacrificed it all and created me with a hearts desire to know You, follow You, and freely accept Your love, mercy, and grace.

From Dana:

Candace, working with you has been a joy. It was a fast, roller-coaster ride, but well worth it. Thanks for all of the prayers, hard work, and late nights!

Jennifer, as always it has been a pleasure partnering with you on this book. Thank you for your support, trust, and friendship.

Mom and Dad, thank you for your unconditional love, for being such great examples for me, and for showing me what it means to live a full and balanced life. I wouldnt be the woman I am today without you!

Chad, Beth, Maura, Claire, and Nicholas, thanks for your undying support and for providing me with such a great home-away-from-home.

I also want to thank many other friends and family members who have prayed for me and been patient with me as Ive worked on this book: the Baugh & Dunn clan; Amanda, Ashley, Nicole, Zack, and many others at Osage Hills; as well as Heidi, Holley, Jenny, and Vicki. You all are the best!

Most of all, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, without whom none of this would be possible!

Introduction

S o you think Ive got it all figured out? If you read anything about me or from me online, it may seem like I have no trouble balancing family life, work, my social life, church, and everything else I do. I realize it could seem perfectly joyful and balanced when you read my tweets or see my Facebook updates. Candace, youre my role model, women respond. Or, Your faithfulness is so inspiring! I also get a lot of, Youre such a great mom. And then theres, I want to be just like you! The compliments may feel good, but many days I feel like all Im really good at is fooling everybody!

If you were to see me on the street and ask, What are your top priorities? my immediate response would be, God and family. In fact, many people say their priorities are, in order: (1) God, (2) family, (3) work. That sounds great, but its not really a hierarchy, and priorities are more complicated than that. As a Christian, my love for and obedience to God should permeate all else. So Hes not the top priority, Hes the ultimate priority and is a part of everything I do. Throughout this book if it seems that Im not repeating the fact that God is or should be my top priority, its because thats a given for me as a Christian. In all that I do, I strive to do what God would have me do.

I also find that my family isor can bean aspect of many of the other priorities in my life. For instance, I work to help financially support my family. And my choice to live a healthy life directly impacts everyone in my homeboth because it also causes them to live in a healthy manner and because when Im healthy it helps me to better take care of my kids and husband.

With the exception of God and family, I find that the expression of most of my other priorities will change in importance from day to day, from week to week, and throughout the different stages of my life. When I think about this, I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3:18:

For everything there is a season, and a time for
every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is
planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather
stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

No two days, weeks, years, or seasons of anyones life look exactly the same. Some things stay the same, but our lives are constantly changing. We need to be open to those changes and be willing to reorder and balance our lives as necessary.

If youre like me, sometimes it seems as if life isnt so much a balancing act as a juggling act. There are so many things going on that I just cant manage to hold onto all of them at once. When this happens, I just remember that I need to reprioritize and reevaluate every single day. I also remind myself that I cant do it on my ownI need Gods help, as well as the help of my husband, kids, and other people in my life to make it all happen and pick up the slack.

As you think about how to balance your life and prioritize the many parts of it, I want you to remember that your priorities are your prioritiesno one elses. You are unique and your situation is unique. So while its wise to look at others choices, dont copy them exactly or compare yourself to them. They have different people in their lives, different situations, and different resources. Along that same vein, dont expect others to prioritize their lives the same way you do.

Before we get started, I want to acknowledge that some people might say that the easiest way to create balance in our lives is to strip our commitments down to the bare minimum. Youre going to see that is definitely not my message. Instead, I think balance is achieved when we are well rounded and focusing on all the things God has created us to be and do. That is when our priorities will most clearly overlap and it is through that overlap that balance is most natural. So, yes, this is a book about balance, but youll see that its about understanding principles that help identify what Ive learned to prioritize in life. And through those priorities, Ive learned the value of balanceeven though I dont always master it!