Brye Elaine Lowry - Be safe, love mom: a military moms stories of courage, comfort, and surviving life on the home front

I ts the first time the six of us have been together in more than three years, and we are all giddy with excitement. My four uniformed childrenEric, Jordan, Katrina, and Brendanare crammed together side by side on the cabin steps in preparation for a new family portrait, and they are laughing so hard that one of them has turned beet red and another is doubled over and holding his belly. Just like when they were little kids in the back seat of the car kicking and pinching each other, theres lots of physical contact. Except now, decades later, the punches in the arm, slaps on the back, and constant jostling are signs of affection rather than of squabbling. I close my eyes and am transported back to earlier days when they would tumble and wrestle together like a pile of puppies. Somebodys going to start crying soon, Id yell, and moments later, just as predicted, a tearful wail would rend the air.

Now, their hilarity interrupts my reverie. I am pulled onto the steps and teased mercilessly while my husband, Courtney, stands by, arms crossed, looking happy and proud.

In our family, connections of the heart are not expressed through long soulful gazes and earnest I love yous. I know, and so would anyone watching, that all of the teasing and tussling of this joyous reunion weekend are expressions of my familys deepest love. And as my children press in next to me in their mottled camouflageeach uniform different, for each child serves in a different branch of the United States militaryand their raucous rivalry escalates, I am in bliss.

The tangible reminder of this blissthe latest treasured family portraitwill go on the staircase wall next to all of those happy images from my kids childhood and teenage yearsyears when they were never too far from the nest; now, I glance down at their standard-issue boots and am amazed to realize that the dust of so many distant lands has been tracked all the way to the cabin we have rented here in rural Idaho. And on the days when having four children in the military seems to demand more strength than I possess, the love and delight radiating from this photo will strengthen my mothers heart and be my ammunition against despair. I need this photograph, this ammunitionoh, how I need it. Because I dont know whenor ifwe will all be together again.

A lthough you and I most likely have never met, we have the privilege of sharing our childor in some cases, childrenwith this great nation we live in. As they do their duty, we do ours. And sometimes it can be lonely here on the home front. Believe me, I know.

I know because Ive spent a lifetime living with and loving those who serve our country. As the daughter of an Army colonel and the mother of four military officers, I know what its like to have those you hold dear in harms way. My husband is a former Air Force pilot, and I, too, have served. And now I have the perspective of someone who has lived in a war zone, even if not on active duty. From July of 2010 until May of 2011, I lived in Kabul and taught at an English-speaking school. It was a life-changing experience.

As a moderator of the US Naval Academy (USNA) Parents listserv since 2001 and now a USNA Parents Facebook administrator, I have been supporting Naval Academy parents for almost a decade and a half. Over the years, my fellow moderators and I have answered the questions of thousands of parents who are anxious and worried when their child ships off to the Naval Academy, and beyond that, who are completely lost when it comes to having a child in the military. I have heard their concernsconcerns you may share, and that I have shared and in some cases still shareand I continue to consider it a privilege to meet these parents and to answer their questions and allay their fears. I have often learned about courage and duty and letting go the hard way, particularly as they relate to having children in the military, and if I can pave the way for you and save you a little pain, it would be my honor and pleasure to do so. Because we are related, you and I. We are bound together by our love of our children and their calling to serve.

I was born to be a military mom. It just took me a few decades to realize it.

As the oldest of seven children, I spent a great deal of my adolescence proclaiming that I would never have children. Ive changed enough diapers and burped enough babies and wiped enough runny noses for a lifetime, Id declare to anyone who even casually brought up the subject of motherhood. Im done with all that. Over time, love and biology made me reevaluate my teenage vow, and eventually I became a mom to four. My nephew later joined our brood for a grand total of five lively youngsters. All that early caregiving experience made motherhood a natural job for me.