Chapman Gary D. - Married and still loving it: the joys and challenges of the second half

Who knew marriage could get better with age? Gary Chapman and Harold Myra give us a high-def picture of the realities of marriage in the second half of life, but they also show the joy, hope, humor, and life that a mature relationship provides. A welcome message!

MARSHALL SHELLEY, senior editor, Christianity Today

My bookshelves are filled with marriage advice, but not one is so specific and helpful for the second half of marriage as Married and Still Loving It. Marriages dont survive on cruise control. They require intentionality and wisdom in every stage. This book is practical, easy-to-read, and will navigate you through real-life challenges to a marriage that is aging well.

JULI SLATTERY, president and cofounder, Authentic Intimacy

All too often the Old Testament tells us about smart, high-achieving people who did well for decades (Noah, Solomon, Joash, Hezekiah, Josiah), only to derail in their later years. Here in our own time, the alarming rise in silver-haired divorces troubles us all. If you want to buck that trend, this is the book you need. Read, learn, and find the keys to finishing strong.

DEAN MERRILL, publisher and award-winning author whos been married fifty years

A deep and encouraging book!!

JAY KESLER, president emeritus, Taylor University

2016 by
GARY CHAPMAN AND HAROLD MYRA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Edited by Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse
Interior design: Ragont Design
Cover design: Dean Renninger
Cover photo of hiking couple copyright 2015 by Robin Skjoldborg/Getty Images (575619315). All rights reserved.
Chapman cover photo: P.S. Photography
Photo of Joni and Ken Tada used by permission of Joni Eareckson Tada of Joni and Friends.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Chapman, Gary D., author. | Myra, Harold Lawrence, author.

Title: Married and still loving it : the joys and challenges of the second half / Gary Chapman, Harold Myra.

Description: Chicago, IL : Moody Publishers, [2016] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015035335 | ISBN 9780802412928

Subjects: LCSH: Married peopleReligious life. | Older couplesReligious life. | Man-woman relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. | MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity. | Marital quality.

Classification: LCC BV4596.M3 C4835 2016 | DDC 248.8/44dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015035335

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To our wives, Karolyn Chapman and Jeanette Myra, with whom we are sharing the joys and challenges of the second half; and to the many couples who told us their stories of resilience, faith, and love.

I Still Feel That Home Is Wherever She Is:
Jerry and Dianna Jenkins

To Know Each Other Like the Backs of Our Hands:
Joni and Ken Tada

Lean into the Fact That Jesus Holds Our Future:
John and Cindy Trent

Friend,

Thank you for choosing to read this Moody Publishers title. It is our hope and prayer that this book will help you to know Jesus Christ more personally and love Him more deeply.

The proceeds from your purchase help pay the tuition of students attending Moody Bible Institute. These students come from around the globe and graduate better equipped to impact our world for Christ.

Other Moody Ministries that may be of interest to you include Moody Radio and Moody Distance Learning. To learn more visit http://www.moodyradio.org/ and http://www.moody.edu/distance-learning/

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The Moody Publishers Team

I t was hard to imagine, back when many of us tied the knot in our frilly tuxes and flowing, not-too-bare white gowns, that someday wed be talking about forty years married and saying things like You know theres no state income tax in Florida and bragging on (or hoping for) grandbabies. Hard to imagine that we wouldnt bound out of bed every morning feeling ready to take on the world. Some days we feel like the world has taken us on and won a decisive round.

But here we are.

Is the second half the best half? Some studies say yes. Research shows that people are generally happier as they age. But beyond the studies, what does it really feel like to be a married boomer going through sometimes-wrenching life changes? Listen to a good friend of ours:

I was really hit with the idea of growing older together when my husband and I were sitting in the waiting room of our local eye clinic, a world-class facility. People come from all over to be treated. They all appeared to be older than we, which felt so refreshing. Some had walkers. Others wore dark glasses. While one couple talked animatedly with each other, another couple was on their screens just like young folks. Other couples were literally holding each other up. Just sitting in the waiting room made me ask, Is this us in a few years? What does this future look like, growing old with my husband?

What does it look like to thrive in our marriages in our fifties, sixties, and beyond? Yes, the mature years can often be happier as we know ourselves better and are perhaps more at peace with our lives. Marriage in the empty-nest stage can be a time of companionship and contentment. Yet we cant ignore the realities of health limitations, worries about money, and the prospects for our grown children. We may be lonely as friends move away. Some of us are watching parents fade into dementia. Others are still getting kids through college, or wondering about the next stage of their work lives. The wisdom of aging sometimes looks more like an admission of how much you