Renee Nickell - Always My Hero: The Road to Hope & Healing Following My Brothers Death in Afghanistan

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The Road to Hope & Healing Following My Brother's Death in Afghanistan

Foreward by Lt Col Allen West, Ret.

RENEE NICKELL

ALWAYS MY HERO

The Road to Hope & Healing Following My Brother's Death in Afghanistan

Renee Nickell

LifeWise books

Copyright 2019 Renee Nickell

All rights reserved.
Except for brief quotations for review purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the author. Disclaimer: Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of certain individuals. While this book is a true account, the conversations gathered from personal interviews, testimonials, and memory are not necessarily word-for-word. They have been recreated from memories to give the reader a better sense of the individuals involved. Some stories have been slightly altered or information omitted to maintain anonymity. Some events may be chronologically out of order in the interest of story flow. The opinions and recollections expressed are those of the author and may or may not reflect the opinions and recollections of others portrayed in the work.
Published by: Lifewise Books PO BOX 1072 Pinehurst, TX 77362
LifeWiseBooks.com
Cover Design and Interior Layout and Design | Yvonne Parks | PearCreative.ca
To contact the author: ReneeNickell.com

Contents

FOREWORD

I do not believe in coincidences. When Renee Nickell reached out asking if I would write this foreword, I knew it was something God ordained. Renee is a Gold Star sibling, something I could have easily been as well.

My dad, Herman West was a Corporal in the US Army during World War II. He embodied everything it was to be a proud American man who served his country. When I was fifteen, he looked me in the eye and said, There is no greater honor than to wear a uniform for the United States of America as one of its warriors.

After sharing with me his pride in being a soldier and combat veteran, he challenged me to be the first commissioned officer in our family. With honor, I accepted. On July 31, 1982, my dad stood at my right, and my mom, Elizabeth, at my left, on the campus of the University of Tennessee, and together they pinned the gold bars of a US Army Second Lieutenant on me. I had achieved what my dad asked of me. It was a proud day.

One of the first phone calls I made after the ceremony was to my older brother, Herman West Jr., Lance Corporal US Marine Corps, Vietnam War combat veteran. He was not drafted into the Marines, he willingly volunteered. To me, my brother was the epitome of a lean, mean, fighting machine. Born in 1961, I was just a little fella when Herman Jr. went to serve in Vietnam. I remember praying to God that he would come back home.

Back then, there wasnt email, video chat, or any of the modern means to regularly stay in touch with deployed loved ones. There were just letters and polaroid pictures that travelled at the snails pace of international mail. I cherished the pictures he sent from Vietnam where he fought against communism, defended our freedom and way of life while protecting a foreign people.

It was 1968 when Herman Jr. let us know that his unit was in Khe Sanh. It was evident from the reports that Khe Sanh was at the center of a very big fight. When we watched the news, I would hold my breath praying that I wouldnt see my brother being carried away on a stretcher, or worse. I paid attention to the combat casualty reports, and at times, looked to my dad for reassurance.

Thankfully, my mom worked for one of the US Marine Corps District Headquarters in Atlanta and was able to get unclassified, yet valuable information beyond what the news reported. One day we received word that Herman Jr. had been wounded in an attack. He was alive, but severely injured and would be coming home. I was relieved to know that my brother, the tough guy I looked up to, had survived.

When I finally saw my brother again, I hugged him tightly, so grateful he was home. Years later, when I visited the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington DC, I remember asking myself, What would it have been like to come here to this black, granite slab and find Herman Jr.s name listed among all the other fallen from the Vietnam War?

So often we think about the moms, dads, spouses, and children left behind from those who made the ultimate sacrifice, but, do we ever think about the brothers and sisters? The forgotten mourners?

There is a powerful bond between siblings. When a brother or sister is lost, it can have a very injurious effect on the ones who will forever be separated from their blood buddy with whom they shared countless memories and hoped to share more.

This is why Always My Hero is so important. It is the story of a surviving sibling, one not often told. Renee lost her brother, US Marine Corps Major Samuel Griffith in 2011 in Afghanistan, and his story is personal for me.

Samuel was the Detachment Officer in Charge for the 4th US Marine Corps Air and Naval Gunfire Liaison Company (4th ANGLICO), based in West Palm Beach, Florida. During my military career, I was selected as an exchange officer to the II Marine Expeditionary Force (MEF) at Camp Lejeune, NC. My initial assignment was the 2nd ANGLICO as their Operations Officer, before being transitioned to the II MEF Operations staff. It was there, at Camp Lejeune, that I earned my Marine Corps gold parachutist wings, the same worn by members of ANGLICO units.

Upon my own return from Afghanistan, I ended up running for US Congress in Floridas 22d Congressional District, which included West Palm Beach, and the headquarters of Samuels 4th ANGLICO unit. 2011 was the year that Samuel lost his life as well as the year I was sworn in as the Congressional Representative.

While most of us will never experience what Renee and other Gold Star siblings have gone through, we must recognize them and honor their pain. Renees story of weathering the storm of life after loss and her own battle with PTSD, provides us a glimpse into the plight and enormous sacrifice of Gold Star siblings.

I heartily admonish you to read Always My Hero and seek out any Gold Star siblings you may know and do one simple thing love them. We must remember that while our country lost a warrior the day that Major Samuel Griffith was killed, Renee lost her brother. Let us commit to not allowing any more Gold Star siblings to become forgotten mourners.

Lieutenant Colonel Allen B. West (US Army, Retired)

Member, 112th US Congress

INTRODUCTION

I find no other appropriate time to begin to reflect on ones life than the age of 40. Its when the youth of our past seems like yesterday, yet we wonder where all the years have gone and what the future will look like. Shortly after my 40 th birthday, I was driving with my dear friend, Amanda, to a womens conference. She asked me, When are you going to write that book? It was a question I never expected, yet something I needed to hear. When will I?

The term Gold Star describes a family member who lost a loved one in the military. As a Gold Star sister, myself, I had a story to tell. I spoke to Gold Star sibling after sibling. We all had a very real pain in commonwe all felt forgotten in our grief. Siblings spend more time with each other in the span of their adolescence and young adulthood than with their parents or later, with their spouses. This is not to negate the pain of the parent or the spouse, but rather to highlight that siblings are often required to suppress their pain to support the grieving process of others. I learned from a grief counselor that most siblings do not even begin the grieving process until two years after the actual event.

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