Cavallari - Balancing in heels: my journey to health, happiness, and making it all work

This book is not a medical manual. Some of the information given here is designed to help you make informed decisions about your health. It is not intended as a substitute for any treatment that may have been prescribed by your doctor. If you suspect that you have a medical problem, we urge you to seek competent medical help.

Mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations, or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author, or the publisher. Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.

2016 by Kristin Cavallari

Photographs 2016 by Tec Petaja

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any other information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

The following page numbers reference the print edition of this book. Photos from Kristin Cavallaris personal collection (pages 10, 16, 17, 23, 26, 29, 57 except bottom left, 63, 64, 79 bottom, 139, 151, 167, 188, 192); Paul Archuleta/Getty Images (page 179 top right); Jen Cooper (page 196); Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images (page 179 top left); Lilly Lawrence/Getty Images (page 179 bottom); J. Merritt/Getty Images (page 57 bottom left); Amelia Moore Photography (pages 69, 70, 72); Sorella Muse/N. Anderson Studio (page 79 top); yonibunga/Shutterstock (page 25)

Book design by Rae Ann Spitzenberger
Hand lettering by The Lovely Drawer

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file with the publisher.

ISBN 9781623366384 paperback

ISBN 9781623366391 ebook

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CONTENTS

In my junior year of high school, MTV showed up at my Laguna Beach, California, high school one January day and set up a booth in the quad. I was cast without even meeting the producers just because I was the link that tied everyone together. The show was titled Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, and MTV started filming in 2004. It centered on the lives of five girls, including me, and three boys. Teenage drama began on the first episode and grew from there. The show was a wild rideand an immediate hit.

Filming a super-successful reality television show when you are just 17 can do a number on your conception of reality. Like many teenagers, I had no self-awareness and thought only about myself, and that was amplified by starring on Laguna Beach, where I got professional accolades for being outspoken and wild. Being tough and rebellious felt like my real identity, and I thought I was in total control of my life. But it wasnt the whole picture. My relationships and the general ups and downs of that time and immediately after were often manipulated for dramatic effect by TV producers or even myself. Behind the scenes, I was uncomfortable and terrified of getting hurt. I often hung out with all the wrong people to avoid having to let anyone in. Plus, I never properly took care of myself, mentally or physically. The actual reality of that celebrity-filled, L.A.-industrydriven life was that I needed some serious growing up.

Remember, reality shows at this time were just starting to become popularaudiences and cast members know a lot more now than we did then. There was certainly a good deal to the show that wasnt real, but as kids we got caught up in it anyway. It was easy to go along with made-up situations and not think much about the consequences. To keep things interesting, words were dubbed, scenes filmed months apart were shown in the same episode as though they were concurrent, and phone calls were faked (I would literally be on the phone with no one or sometimes with a producer). Pickup scenes were ordered and filmed in postproduction, when producers realized they needed something specific to keep their story going. I was a carefree, go-with-the-flow type of person, so I often didnt question things until it was too late... like the producers having me record wild linesbits of audio to splice into whatever scene they wanted. If it wasnt a line I was completely comfortable with, they would tell me to just try it and they wouldnt use it if it didnt sound right. Ha, I soon learned my lesson about believing that!

Dont get me wrong, I wouldnt trade my experience on Laguna Beach, and later on The Hills, for the world. I had a blast filming the majority of the time and have beautiful footage of special moments with my friends, like prom and graduation. It was an experience that most people will never get, and I will always have a great story to tell. I loved the attention from the media (at 17 and 18, it was all new and exciting), but I struggled with people thinking I was someone I wasnt. Young girls all over the world were criticizing me for being a bitch, but media outlets loved itthat year was my biggest to date in terms of recognition and bookings for magazines and talk shows. Confusingly, the experience was the making of me professionally, but otherwise it was something I didnt feel had much to do with the real me. Though I was much more than the character they showed on TV, I still didnt even really know who I was.

GROWING UP

It wasnt until my early twenties that things changed. Once I left the reality shows, workacting, hosting, fashionbecame more meaningful. I began to surround myself with people whom I genuinely cared about, who in turn genuinely cared about me. After years in the public eye, I came to terms with my body and, most important, my true self. Finally, it wasnt until I had a child and got married, and in that order, that I realized how happy and centered I could be.

For the first time in my life, I know who I am. Im pretty simple. I am a no-fuss, on-the-go kind of girl who knows exactly what she wants. I never settle. I always find a way to make things work, whatever those things are. I am a mother to two amazing little boys and a beautiful little girl, the wife of an NFL quarterback, and a girly girl who loves fashion and beauty. Im a businesswoman who wears many hats (shoe and jewelry designer, TV host, and producer), a passionate health nut, and an enthusiastic home cook. I know my likes and dislikes. I understand what drives me. I know that I only want positive people in my life. In short, Ive grown up and gotten my shit together. Ive learned how to live a healthy, happy life.