Les Parrott - The Good Fight

WHAT READERS OF

THE GOOD FIGHT

ARE SAYING

The Good Fight changed everything in our relationship. Its the first book weve actually looked forward to reading together.

THOMAS AND MELISSA, MARRIED 17 YEARS

Who knew conflict could be fun? We laughed out loud while reading this book. And, thanks to the app, were now practicing The Rules of Fight Club. The Good Fight delivers!

JUSTIN AND BELLA, MARRIED 5 YEARS

The chapter about your personal Fight Type is worth the price of the whole book. One of us is a Cautious Fighter and the other is a Competitive Fighter. That awareness was a game-changer in our marriage.

COLIN AND MARIA, MARRIED 33 YEARS

We dont fight a lot but when we do its usually a doozy. Les and Leslie taught us how to turn those tough times around faster than we ever imagined. We love The Good Fight.

MARCO AND CARRIE, MARRIED 14 YEARS

The first time we heard Les and Leslie say that you can use conflict to bring you closer together, we had our doubts. But after reading The Good Fight, we are true believers. Our relationship has never been better.

DANIEL AND KATHY, MARRIED 6 YEARS

Weve never read a book like this. The app is incredible because it actually has us put into practice what were reading. Genius!

RANJY AND SHINE, MARRIED 12 YEARS

To be honest, we never thought about the difference between a good fight and a bad fight. That first chapter opened our eyesespecially when it comes to our long-standing fights about money.

BRIAN AND LINDA, MARRIED 28 YEARS

Our couples small group read The Good Fight. Wed never been more energized and excited to get to group. Truly, each chapter reveals practical applications that wed never considered.

GEORGE AND CALA, MARRIED 7 YEARS

The Good Fight showed us what we are REALLY fighting about. That insight has done more than just about anything to curb our conflict.

ROBERT AND DESIREE, MARRIED 19 YEARS

THE

GOOD

FIGHT

HOW CONFLICT CAN BRING YOU CLOSER

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING AUTHORS

Copyright 2013 by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott

Published by Worthy Publishing, a division of Worthy Media, Inc., 134 Franklin Road, Suite 200, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027

HELPING PEOPLE EXPERIENCE THE HEART OF GOD

eBook available at worthypublishing.com

Audio book distributed through Brilliance Audio, visit brillianceaudio.com

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012956461

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or otherexcept for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. zondervan.com.

Scripture quotations marked (msg) are taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (nlt) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

For foreign and subsidiary rights, contact Riggins International Rights, Inc.; rigginsrights.com.

Published in association with Yates & Yates, yates2.com

ISBN: 978-1-61795-119-0

Cover Design: Kent Jensen, Knail LLC, knail.com

Cover Image: Brandon Hill, Brandon Hill Photos, brandonhillphotos.com

Interior Design and Typesetting: Kristi C Smith, Juicebox Designs, juiceboxdesigns.com

Printed in the United States of America

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To Scott and Theresaa couple doing more to help other couples fight a good fight than most will ever know.

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Worthy publishing lives up to its name. Byron Williamson, president and publisher, caught the vision for this book from the moment we first mentioned it. So did Jeana Ledbetter, our editorial expert. Jennifer Day and Tom Williams polished every sentence. And the sales, marketing, and publicity team are some of the best in the business: Dennis Disney, Morgan Canclini, Alyson White, Betty Woodmancy, and Sherrie Slopianka. We could not be more grateful to the entire Worthy family for allowing us to publish with them.

We owe a special debt to a handful of couples who literally read aloud an early draft of this book in a single sitting together. They traveled from around the country to do this for us, and each of them added immeasurable value to the project. Ranjy and Shine Thomas are two of the most creative, talented, and giving people we know (and we have the late night phone records to prove it). Brandon and Kristin Hill have endured Sunday brunches after church to help us unpack our thinking on this book. And its also Brandon who talked us into an arm-wrestling matchwhich he photographed for the books cover. Rich and Linda Simmons offered sage advice and wisdom at multiple turns. And Tim and Beth Popadic, flying to Seattle from Palm Beach, Florida, have gone way beyond the extra mile to invest in the message of this book with us. In fact, it was Tim, with his trademark mojo, who fanned a flame for live Fight Night events with us in cities across the country.

A band of people in Boulder, Colorado, have also invested themselves in this project. Were deeply grateful to our Rocky Mountain friends: Ryan Holdeman, Sara Meyer, Jeff Fray, Bob Brown, Brian McKinney, Caleb Hanson, Leora Weiner, Tory Leggat, Mark Ferguson, Brian Ledbetter, Ryan DeCook, Justin VanEaton, Liz Swanson, and Eric Swanson.

Dr. John Gottman has done more yeomans work on the empirical side of understanding couples conflicts than anyone we know. And in a sense, the seeds of this book were first planted many years ago over a delightful lunch we had with John overlooking Lake Washington. Throughout the writing of this book weve stood on his shoulders.

Finally, we want to thank five very important people in our lives. Sealy Yates is not only a great comrade in publishing but a great friend. Mandi Moragne, our director of Amazing Customer Experiences, cares about the people we serve every bit as much as we do. Janice Lundquist has managed our life on the road (and more) in a way that two travelers have no right to expect or ask. Kevin Small, the chair of our nonprofit, is incredibly helpful at every turn. And Ryan Farmer, along with his wife, Kendra, are unimaginable gifts to our efforts. Ryan adds value to everything he touches, and we could not be more grateful to him and our entire team who have worked so hard on our behalf. We cant say thanks enough.