Les and Leslie Parrott - When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages: How to Stay Together When Life Pulls You Apart

My wife, Sandy, and I encountered many bumps in the road of our own marriage. We had a rough first yearshe would say decade! If we had had Les and Leslies book, those bumps would have made us stronger. Every couple can benefit from this tremendous resource.

Steve Arterburn

This book took my breath away. It puts the dream within reach. It decodes the seemingly uncrackable mysteries of marriage and translates them into understandable, accessible, and manageable steps. Buy this bookand the workbooksfor everyone within your circle. Good marriages are contagious. Spread the wealth.

Diane Sollee
Founder and director
Coalition for Marriage, Family,
and Couples Education

I love Les and Leslie Parrott! Theyre not only expertstheyre normal. They even fight with each other once in awhile! Youll love this insightful, practical book. It should be required reading for every couple.

Dr. Kevin Leman
Author of Sex Begins in the Kitchen

No married couple can fail to benefit from the wisdom and sound advice found in this book.

David Popenoe
Professor of Sociology
Codirector, the National Marriage Project
Rutgers University

As a therapist who has devoted her career to helping couples make their marriages more loving, and a woman married to the same man for over two decades, I think I know a thing or two about what it takes to make relationships work. But now, after reading this wonderful book, I know more.

It should be required reading for every engaged, newlywed and veteran couple! I love it!

Michele Weiner-Davis
Author of Divorce Busting

In When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages, Les and Leslie Parrott have given us a book that is blatantly honest about the roadblocks to a meaningful marriage, and extremely practical about how to make the most of the detour routes while getting back on the main highway. For those who do not want to get lost in the wilderness, this book provides an excellent road map to a successful marriage.

Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D.
Author of The Five Love Languages

No one can escape bad moments in marriage, but no one is meant to drown in the difficulty. Les and Leslie Parrott provide the wisdom to help every marriage make a safe and satisfying course through turbulent waters. They speak with honesty, humor, and grace. Their message is grounded in solid research, counseling experience, and their own bumps and bruises from life. This book is not only compelling, it is an essential guide for all of us who seek the best for our marriage when it bumps into bad things.

Dan B. Allender, Ph.D.
Author of Intimate Allies

Les and Leslie Parrott have written a deeply compassionate book to guide all of us along the marriage path. Whether your relationship has run into a few speed bumps or some daunting mountains, the Parrotts wisdom will see you through.

Scott M. Stanley, Ph.D.
University of Denver
Coauthor of A Lasting Promise

Les and Leslie Parrott have a message every married couple needs to hear. When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages is the best tool box Ive seen for helping couples survive and thrive in the midst of lifes inevitable difficulties. Whether its busyness or boredom, infidelity or infertility, Les and Leslie provide solid solutions that are guaranteed to strengthen your marriage.

Gary Smalley
Author of Bound by Honor

Every marriage, sooner or later, goes through tough times. Guaranteed. We only wish we would have had the wisdom Les and Leslie offer in this book before we entered our own valley of suffering. You can be sure well use it with other couplesand it will be required reading for our adult children before they get married.

Dave and Jan Dravecky

ZONDERVAN

WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD MARRIAGES
Copyright 2001 by Les and Leslie Parrott

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition August 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-86705-0

This title is also available as a Zondervan audio product.
Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information.

Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Parrott, Les.
When bad things happen to good marriages : how to stay together when life pulls you apart / Les and Leslie Parrott.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 0-310-22459-4
1. SpouseReligious life. 2. MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity.
I. Parrott, Leslie L., 1964 . II. Title.
BV4596.M3 P38 2001
248.8'44-dc 21

00-051302
CIP

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

04 05 06 07 08 09 10 / DC / 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

To Greg and Connie Smith,
a couple who has weathered
more than their fair share of bad things
and whose marriage is doubly strong because of it

Contents

WhenBadThingsHappen.com

Below is a listing of some true stories you will find throughout this book. Each story focuses on a specific marital struggle and is written by a courageous couple who strengthened their marriage in spite of their struggle. We offer these contributions as a source of inspiration and examples of practical problem solving.

Below is a listing of the exercises and self-tests you will find in the two workbooks we have designed to go along with this book (one for husbands and one for wives). In each chapter we will point you to a specific exercise to work on once you have read a particular section. This list can serve as a quick reference to the location of the exercises within this book.

S ome authors, when talking of their works, say, my book, my commentary, and my history, said Pascal. I recommend them to say, our book, because in general they contain much more of what belongs to other people than to themselves. How right he is. The book you hold in your hands is testament to that fact.

As always, we could have never completed this project without the help of so many supportive peoplestarting with our friends at Zondervan. From Bruce Ryskamp and Scott Bolinder, to Sandy Vander Zicht and Lori VandenBosch, to John Topliff and Greg Stielstra and Jessica Westra, to Joyce Ondersma and Jackie Aldridge, to Stan Gundry and everyone else on the Z team who has invested so much of themselves in our shared visionwe could never convey the depth of gratitude we feel toward all of you. We are privileged to know you not only as consummate professionals, but as friends whose company we thoroughly enjoy.