Traci Morrow - Real-Life Marriage: Navigating Your Beautiful, Messy, One-of-a-kind Love Story

R e al - L ife M arriage

2022 Traci Morrow

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Real-Life Marriage

Navigating Your Beautiful, Messy, One-of-a-kind Love Story

Brown Books Publishing Group

Dallas, TX / New York, NY

www.BrownBooks.com

(972) 381-0009

A New Era in Publishing

Publishers Cataloging-In-Publication Data

Names: Morrow, Traci, author.

Title: Real-life marriage : navigating your beautiful, messy, one-of-a-kind love story / Traci Morrow.

Description: Dallas, TX ; New York, NY : Brown Books Publishing Group, [2022]

Identifiers: ISBN 9781612545493 (hardcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Marriage. | Interpersonal relations. | Communication in marriage. | Marital conflict.

Classification: LCC HQ734 .M67 2022 | DDC 646.7/82--dc23

eISBN 978-1-61254-612-4

LCCN 2021922516

Printed in the United States

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For more information or to contact the author, please go to

www.TraciMorrow.com.

To KC Morrow

Our story is my favorite you are my favorite!

XOX

Foreword

Dear Reader,

Traci and I are just beginning the thirty-second year of our marriage. When we were first married, we had no idea or even a thought on how our differing personalities, quirks, and habits would merge and incorporate into our relationship. Soon, as all married couples come to understand, we were challenged with these new additions, and so began our navigation of understanding the depth of marriage.

Without a guide or tools, we moved along and learned how to traverse our differences that only being in a real-life marriage can reveal. It was not always easy, and we did struggle quite a bit in the early years and, truthfully, a little beyond that. But our commitment and love for each other never waveredwe were always committed to creating a great lifelong story with each other. And through it all, weve gathered some great lessons and tools that can help anyone else who wants this too.

Among Tracis giftings is her ability to communicate her observations so clearly. She has taken the lessons and tools we have gathered throughout our marriage and put them in this book to give you hope, encouragement, and excitement that your marriage can be lifelong.

Whether you are about to be married, recently married, or longtime married, Traci has written this book for you. Jump in, and you will see hopeful new possibilities open up for your marriage.

KC Morrow

Acknowledgments

To my dear mom and dad, Ray and Dianne Crawford: two kids who made a promise at age eighteen and have spent the last sixty-three years (and counting) creating a legacy of following Jesus, loving people, and prioritizing marriage and family. I am so blessed to be your daughter.

To my one and only sissy and brother-in-law Terri and Joe La Brie. Thanks for giving our marriage and family the best shot at making it by your example, love, and support. You stood by our sides at the altar, and then for a lifetime. KC and I are so grateful for all of it.

For my maternal grandparents Lou and Ann Taucher, married seventy-two years. You created a legacy of family that Ive not seen elsewhere. Grandma, I think often of little three-year-old you: an only child who craved siblings, but lost your mama way too soon. I wonder if you look down from Heaven, see the rich depth of lifelong marriage, child bearing, adopting, and celebration of family that goes on in your people to this day, and beam with satisfaction. Every one of us in your lineage are the ginormous legacy of you and Grandpas marriage.

For my paternal grandparents Ray and Irene Crawford, married fifty-five years. You served your community, your church, and your family with smiles, humor, humility, and a twinkle in your eyes. Grandpa, your Jesus story is one of my favorites because you invited him into your heart at age eighty-five. You lived a kind and soft-spoken life, privately carrying the unnecessary burden and inaccurate picture of being disqualified from Gods love because of your humanity. You laid down a heavy load when you accepted the saving redemption offered to you from a Jesus who loves and saves. Your story impacted mine powerfully; reminding me that its never too late to lay down your burdens, pick up your cross, and joyfully follow Jesus.

For Lorie Pope Pauly, who prayed over me one day when I was in my thirties, seeing a vision of me writing for, speaking to, and helping people. Thanks for watering a seed by sharing that glimpse from God.

Inexpressible thanks to my mentor and friend John Maxwell. You wrote books on leadership that helped me lead myself and my family. Without your books and friendship, my path would have been far more difficult to navigate. Your books continue to guide me to create the life I intentionally choose. I pray my life follows your example in leading others to create a life they desire for themselves. I am legs to your legacy.

Special thanks to my friend Tom Reale, president of Brown books, who called me up one day and asked me to consider writing a book. Thanks for seeing a story in me to be told, friend.

Heartfelt thanks to Hallie Raymond, my editor. You helped me take my story and connect the pieces so it flowed. Thanks for speaking truthfully to me and for learning to speak my love language to encourage me.

To my readers: I pray this book illuminates the path for your marriage, and that you in turn light the way for others. I truly believe the way to positive change in our world is through individual healthy, loving marriages that go the distance. Im FOR your one-of-a-kind love story!

Introduction

What is happily ever after? Real love is a beautiful, messy, complicated story of two imperfect people merging their lives together, for life.

Its been thirty-one years since I put on my big, white cream puff of a dress; unloaded a can of hairspray to make my bangs stand at attention; and walked down the aisle to my handsome groom in his tuxedo tails and mini mullet. Ive learned some things. A lot of things, actually, about myself and about what it actually takes to create a marriage that goes the distance. I dont have a guarantee for a fail-proof marriage (wouldnt that be cool?), but I have discovered amazing tools that have helped us navigate the path between what we hoped marriage would be and what marriage actually looks like. These are tools that anyone can usetools that can help you too.

Married for life. It sounds so great, doesnt it? I dont mean married in title alone, grunting it out and tolerating one another. Im talking about the kind of marriage that goes the distance. I bet you want to like and love your spouse. I know I do! You want a friendship and a romance. You want great memories and adventuresmaybe that includes raising kids and being grandparents together, traveling the world together, or making a house into your dream home. Whats on your want list?

In my first ten or so years of marriage to my husband KC, I would never have imagined that Id someday write about marriage. Communication was so much work for us in the beginning. Thats part of the beauty of growth! If you do the hard work with the person you chose, the reward is that you both grow, and it gets really good. I found something thats real and that works, and I want to share it with as many people as possible, so they too have a fighting chance in their marriages!