Gabor - Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations

Conversation Arts Media
New York

P.O. Box 715 Brooklyn, N.Y., 11215

Copyright 1994/2005/2013 by Don Gabor and Conversation Arts Media

All rights reserved,

including the right of reproduction

in whole or in part in any form.

Manufactured in the United States of America

3 5 7 9 1 0 8 6 4 2

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gabor, Don

Speaking your mind in 101 difficult situations / Don Gabor, cm

1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Tact. I. Title. II. Title. Speaking your mind in one-hundred-and-one difficult situations.

BF637.C45G335 1994/2005/2013

158.2dc20

9341345

CIP

ISBN: 1-879834-15-4(EBOOK)

Don Gabor is the author of the bestselling and newly revised book and audio program, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends and ten other books and audio programs on business and interpersonal communication skills. His books have been translated into more than two dozen foreign editions including Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Spanish, French and German.

Don has been writing books, offering communication programs and consulting since 1980. His has presented his programs to US-China Partners, Korin Japanese Trading Corp., General Reinsurance (GenRe), Professional Association of SQL Servers (PASS), Marriott Hotels, Standard & Poors, Time-Warner, Viacom, Dartmouth Tuck School of Business and many other large and small companies, associations and colleges.

For individuals who want personalized training, Don also offers one-on-one coaching for speeches, presentations, conversation skills and media training.

Don has been a member of the National Speakers Association since 1991. He was the 2010-2011 NSA-New York City chapter president. Don was a media spokesperson for Grand Marnier, Sprint and Frito-Lay.

Don is frequent media guest and his books have been featured in hundreds of online, print, radio and television interviews, including 60 Minutes With Andy Rooney, Wall Street Journals TV Lunch Hour, New York Times, Newsday, Investors Business Daily, and many others.

The New Yorker called Don, a gifted conversationalist.

For more information about Don Gabors books and programs, please visit his website at www.dongabor.com or contact him at:

Telephone: 718-768-0824

Cell: 917-613-5096

Conversation Arts Media

P.O. Box 715

Brooklyn, NY 11215

Book

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends

Turn Small Talk into Big Deals: Using 4 Key Conversation Styles to Customize Your Networking Approach, Build Relationships, and Win More Clients

Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations

Talking With Confidence for the Painfully Shy

How to Talk to the People You Love

EBook (Kindle Single)

Plane-Talk: Networking at 30,000 Feet

CDs

Cmo Iniciar una Conversacin

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends

Talking With Confidence for the Painfully Shy

This book is dedicated to my wife, Eileen; to my parents Trude and Fred; and to my sister and her husband, Ellen and John Newport. I also dedicate this book to everyone who has ever said the wrong thingand wished they hadnt.

I want to offer my special thanks to Eileen Cowell for her wise words, sharp editorial pencil, and loving patience during this project. I want to thank my friends for sharing their personal experiences and suggestions. I also want to express my gratitude to Sheree Bykofsky and Paul Fargis at The Stonesong Press for their inspiration and guidance in the creation and writing o f this book. Finally, I want to thank my faithful office cat, Sophie, for sitting on my computer monitor and keeping me company during the many months it took me to complete the book.

PART I
MASTERING THE ART OF TACT

PART II
TACTFUL TALK IN THE WORKPLACE & BUSINESS WORLD

PART III
TACTFUL TALK IN YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

A husband tells his wife that her new dress is okay but would look better on her if she lost fifteen pounds. She leaves the room in tears. He yeils, I said the dress looks okay! Whats your problem?

A woman informs a coworker that his breath smells like a dead fish. He suddenly turns beet red and acts distant and cold. She protests, I was just kidding!

Do you often say the wrong thing, offend others, and end your conversations on a sour note? Do you find yourself in difficult situations, but you dont know what to say or how to say it? Do you wonder why some people make friends when they talk, but you end up with cold and unfriendly stares?

Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations can help. In Part 1: Mastering the Art of Tact, you will learn seven vital communications strategies that can help you build your confidence in your ability to say what you need to say in any difficult conversation. You will also learn how to improve your listening skills, stay calm in difficult conversations, become an assertive communicator, and cope with difficult people.

In Part II: Tactful Talk in the Workplace and Business World, youll learn what to say in 41 difficult situations with your boss, coworkers, subordinates, and business associates. In Part III: Tactful Talk in Your Personal Relationships, youll learn what to say in 60 difficult situations with your friends, sweetheart, spouse, children, family members, and relatives. Each of the 101 entries includes several examples that you can adapt to your specific situation.

The strategies and skills presented in are referred to throughout the rest of the book. Review them along with any of the specific examples that correspond to your own situation. That way youll have the confidence and know-how to speak your mind in any conversation.

This book can help you advance your career and improve the quality of your life in the workplace. If you are a manager, this book can help you communicate more effectively with your staff. If you are single, this book can help you find a compatible mate. Parents, this book can guide you to help your kids to do better in school and increase harmony in your family. All of these benefits come about by improving your ability to communicate with tact. So turn this page and begin.

Oh, no! Another tough personal situation in which putting your foot in your mouth seems like a foregone conclusion. Well, you dont have to be a communication klutz anymorethat is, if you use the following seven strategies for tactful conversations. But first

Tact is the ability to recognize the delicacy of a situation and then to say the most considerate or most appropriate thing. Tact requires sensitivity to others, combined with the skill to speak assertively at any given time without giving offense. It is the talent for managing difficult circumstances or people. Tact requires ingenuity and the ability to know what will make a person feel better after talking to you.

If youre worried about your communication skills, this may sound like a difficult challenge. Fortunately there is an easy way to learn the basic elements of tact.