Friedman - The promise: a tragic accident, a paralyzed bride, and the power of love, loyalty, and friendship

skirt! is an attitude... spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.

Copyright 2014 by Disability Possibilities, Inc.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted in writing from the publisher. Requests for permission should be addressed to Globe Pequot Press, Attn: Rights and Permissions Department, PO Box 480, Guilford, CT 06437.

skirt! is an imprint of Globe Pequot Press.

skirt! is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC, and is used with express permission.

All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise indicated.

Project Editor: Lauren Brancato

Layout Artist: Kirsten Livingston

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

eISBN 978-1-4930-0900-8

To anyone dealing with a spinal cord injury and to all of those fighting tirelessly for a cure, this book is for you.

To my alma mater, East Carolina University, and the Pirate nation for all of your support. Once a Pirate, always a Pirate.

Contents

When a soul is sent down from heaven it contains both male and female characteristics. The male elements enter the baby boy; the female elements enter the baby girl; and if they be worthy, God reunites them in marriage.

The Zohar

The names of all of the women by the pool the night of my accident, and of some of my friends, have been changed to protect their privacy. Some details about their identities have been slightly altered.

Prologue

My head hit the bottom of the pool and I heard an excruciatingly loud crack. Whether it was my neck snapping or my head hitting the concrete floor, Im not really sure. I just remember that sound above all else in that moment. My eyes were open underwater, but I couldnt process what was happening. I simply floated, suspended in time. In those few seconds I didnt see a flash before my eyes. I didnt see a rush of memories. I felt frozen, as if someone had hit a pause button. I couldnt figure out anything. That crack was the only thing I heard.

When youre underwater its usually so quiet and peaceful. But this moment didnt feel peacefulit simply felt stuck. I felt no panic or even fear. No gasping for air and taking in water. Just my frozen mind. My body froze, too. I knew I was in water, but I couldnt feel the wetness of it; that was the strangest thing. My mindknowing I was immersedand my body werent syncing up. I couldnt feel anything. I was just floating, still and nearly lifeless, toward the surface.

I had no idea when I crawled out of bed that morning that it would be the last time Id be able to do it on my own, without help from another person. My world was about to change, as was that of my fianc and parents.

There was another life that would unexpectedly be robbed of its joy, its ability to laugh, and it would be rocked to the core, maybe more so than mine.

CHAPTER 1

Meeting the One

Our plan was to have everything we ever wanted: the perfect house, a rich and happy marriage, a baby boy and a baby girl. We saw the house as the foundation of our goals and dreams. In the summer of 2009, Chris and I bought it together; its where we were going to live our wonderfully and carefully planned life, in Knightdale, North Carolina, a small town three hours from where I grew up in Virginia Beach.

It was the Friday of my bachelorette weekend, a month before my wedding. We were home in the morning before work, scrambling to take off for fun but separate celebratory weekends. Chris was packing for his guys camping trip. He was loading his fishing gear and clothing into the car: rods and reels, tents, all of the things you need to camp. It was all neutral colorsbrowns, beiges, and greens; we certainly couldnt have been packing for two more opposite events. I was preparing for a seriously girlie weekend, and he was getting ready for an ultra-guy weekend of roughing it.

My friend Britney and I had gone shopping days beforehand for a fun white dress Id wear the next evening, and I was carefully packing my dress, curling iron, makeup, and all that Id need to primp and party the next night. I was so worried Id forget something, I kept reviewing what I had laid out. I was so consumed by all of the little details that were a big deal to me at the time and seemed so important. None of it turned out to be all that important in the days that followed.

Chris left before me that morning and made a point to kiss me good-bye. He was leaving for his camping trip straight from work, so I wouldnt see him until that Sunday night.

I love you. Be safe, he said.

I love you, too, I responded.

He went to work and so did I.

I was completely unaware it would be my last day of work ever. I was a program coordinator at an active seniors facility, and I had planned a Senior Prom for the members of the center. I dressed up in a satin polka dot dress that flared out when I twirled. I had the residents line dancing and slow dancing, and I remember dancing so hard myself. It was a fun morning. One of the couples was celebrating their fiftieth anniversary. We played a special love song for them and had them take the floor like it was their first dance. I remember looking at them and thinking, I cant wait for this to be Chris and me. I imagined our first dance at our wedding and years of growing old together. It was a magical vision.

When I arrived home later that day, I changed out of the polka dot dress and threw on some yoga clothes for the long car ride back to my hometown. Britney picked me up that afternoon. When I left our beautiful home on May 21, 2010, I left a few dishes in the sink, the bed unmade, and a bunch of outfits on the floor that I had torn out of my closet to pack and never put back. I figured Id clean up when I returned home. I was too excited to waste time. I had set my bag right at the door, so I could just zip in and grab it after work.

Britney and I headed to my grandmas house for our big Saturday. Its the place I always go when I head to my hometown. Its easier there. My room at my mom and dads had been turned into a storage office, but my grandma had a real room for me still, so I liked it there. I was celebrating with my girls; Chris was celebrating with his dad. Soon, wed be husband and wife, a day Id waited for my entire life.

Chris and I met at East Carolina University in Greenville at a party in 2004, during my freshman year. It was October, and Halloween was a serious weeklong affair there. In fact, its apparently one of the biggest Hallows Eve celebrations in the country, almost like a mini Mardi Gras. This was a Friday night, October 29. But two days later, on Halloween night, all the streets would be full of people shoulder to shoulder.

It was an outdoor party, part of the festivities that wed heard about through the grapevine. None of my dorm mates in Tyler Hall knew the guys hosting it, but we had heard it would be fun. We all got ready together, trying on a bunch of different outfits, clothes scattered everywhere. I settled on light capri jeans, a brown silky halter top, and some dangly turquoise earrings. I had my hair pulled sort of halfway back, so that you could see my jewelry.