Kelly Flanagan - Loveable: embracing what is truest about you, so you can truly embrace your life

ZONDERVAN

Loveable

Copyright 2017 by Kelly Flanagan

Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

EPub Edition February 2017 ISBN 9780310345176

ISBN 978-0-310-34516-9 (softcover)

ISBN 978-0-310-34517-6 (ebook)

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Wild Geese from DREAM WORK, copyright 1986 by Mary Oliver. Used by permission of Grove/Atlantic, Inc. Any third party use of this material, outside of this publication, is prohibited.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this work.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in association with Creative Trust, Inc., www.creativetrust.com.

Cover design: James W. Hall IV

Interior design: Kait Lamphere

First printing January 2017 / Printed in the United States of America

For my little onesAidan, Quinn, and Caitlin
who are teaching me how to be a kid again.

And for my wife,
who is my miracle.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

MARK TWAIN

Happy is he who still loves something that he loved in the nursery: he has not been broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and has saved not only his soul but his life.

G. K. CHESTERTON

I n a way, I guess, the writing of this book began with a coffeepot. And a typo.

A few years ago, our old coffeemaker finally gave up the ghost, and we replaced it with a newer model featuring a bunch of buttons, a ceramic carafe, and no hot plate. According to the advertising, the carafe was so state-of-the-art it could keep the coffee hot without assistance. Like magic.

It was not magical.

The first pot of coffee was lukewarm. So was the second. By the third pot of tepid brew, my wife and I were turning to Google for answers. I intended to type how to keep coffee hot, but accidentally typed how to keep h, and before I could finish my question, Google autocompleted my search: how to keep him interested. Curious, I hit enter, and was greeted by countless articles about how to be sexy and subservient, when to bring him a sandwich and when to bring him a beer. And most of them were written by women.

Suddenly, I was a little hot.

My daughter, Caitlin, was three years old at the time, and I imagined her as a young woman, searching the internet for ways to keep her boyfriend or her husband interested in her, only to discover it would require her body and her obedience. I imagined how sad and lonely she would feel as she read those articles, and I wanted her to know she is worthy of interestand of a husband who knows she is worthy of interestregardless of how she looks or what she does. So I wrote Caitlin a letter and, when I read it to my wife, it brought tears to her eyes. I had intended the words for my daughter, but it turned out my wife also needed to hear them. So I thought others might need to hear them as well.

I posted the letter to my blog, and within a week it went viral.

The second time I wrote a letter to Caitlin, I was standing in a makeup aisle. Several weeks earlier, a friend had texted me from a different makeup aisle. He had a young daughter too, and he said he was disturbed by the many messages about beauty surrounding him there. He said it felt oppressive. I wanted to understand what he was feeling, so I visited a beauty aisle myself.

As I stood in the aisle, I knew exactly what he was feeling.

Again, I imagined Caitlin, a decade older, standing in that same aisle, absorbing all the messages suggesting her worthiness is dependent on her prettiness. I wanted to challenge the voices of the beauty industry with the voice of a father, telling her that beauty isnt something she starts putting on her face in adolescence; its something that was put into her soul from the very beginning. I wanted her to know worthiness isnt something you buy in a store; its something you discover within yourself.

So I sat down in the aisle, pulled out my laptop, and wrote Caitlin a second letter.

When I got home, I read it to my wife and, once again, she cried. So, once again, I posted the letter to my blog. This time, it went so viral that Caitlin and I ended up on the TODAY show. In the wake of our television appearance, I began asking myself why the world was so eager to hear the words I was writing to her. And slowly, it began to dawn on me: its not just little girls who need to be reminded of their inner beautyall of us need to be reminded of our worthiness and the power we have to live beautiful lives.

It turns out, there is a little one in all of us.

The little one inside of you is your truest selfthe you who existed before things got confusing, before guys started telling you that you had to bring them a sandwich to be interesting, before an industry started telling you that you had to buy a product to be beautiful, before you had to be tough to be enough, before you had to be cool to survive in school. The little one inside of you is the you who is most aware of your worthiness. But it is also your most wounded you, because that little boy or girl was on the front lines when the world started telling you that you werent enough.

Recently, our oldest child, Aidan, who is in middle school, walked up to me and, out of nowhere, said, Dad, I wish I could remember what I was like when I was a little kid. When I asked him why, he said, Because then Id know who I really am. Middle school takes that away from you.

There is a worthy yet wounded little one in all of us.

To be honest, the love letters I write to my kids are also love letters to the little kid inside of me. The shame and loneliness and confusion I hope to ease in them are the shame and loneliness and confusion I already carry within me. As I invite my children to awaken to their worthiness, belonging, and purpose, the little one in me slowly reawakens to his own worth, place, and passion. If youre a parent, maybe you know what Im talking about. If youre not a parent, maybe you know what Im talking about too.

Because we all have a little one inside of us waiting on a love letter.