Carl E Pickhardt - Who Stole My Child?: Parenting Through the Four Stages of Adolescence

Special Praise for Who Stole My Child?

A straightforward road map for the bumpy journey from adolescence to adulthood. Of particular interest is the frank discussion on the five Cs of the last stage of adolescence (eighteen to twenty-three) where parents have the least input and control. I also found the section on what to do and what to watch for when signs of substance use begin to be extremely helpful. While most youth have been taught prevention tactics in school, for many the temptation and availability is hard to resist. Parents will learn the signals of a deeper problem and be able to intervene early.

Gloria Souhami, Director

Travis County Attorneys Underage

Drinking Prevention Program

Masterfully wrapped with personal and clinical wisdom embedded in the relational aspect, Pickhardt does a phenomenal job in providing parents with both conceptual and practical understandings of the joy and angst of parenting adolescents. Who Stole My Child provides practicable ways to strengthen the crucial parent-child relationship. Its straightforward, relatable, and rooted in insight, equipping parents to navigate the adolescent years from a place of hope and confidence.

Laura C. Edwards, EdD

Educational Psychologist

Dr. Pickhardts insights into the components of adolescence, how it affects families, and his guidance on how to maneuver through this often-confusing time is essential reading for every family.

Charles J. Sophy, DO, FACN

Medical Director

Los Angeles Department of Child and Family Services

An excellent, helpful book. For any parent navigating the bewildering, turbulent, and often uncharted territory of parenting a teenager, this book is like holding hands with a warm and reassuring friend who has been there, done that, and always knows exactly what to do next. Dr. Pickhardt gives practical guidelines to address the everyday situations parents encounter, as well as effective strategies for handling the really difficult situations that sometimes develop with older teens. With gentle, clear, and calming advice, Dr. Pickhardt helps parents understand the why of adolescent behavior while also providing the words to use in real-life examples.

Jane Guenther Parent

Senior Editor

Your Teen Magazine

Carl Pickhardt is a brilliant writer and thinker with so much to offer parents, families, educators, and professionals in a variety of fields. He speaks to and writes for those concerned with the well-being and health of emerging adolescents. Pickhardt has a way with reality and hopefulness that is needed in interactions that can feel tumultuous. His work became the cornerstone of a successful program, All Behaviors Count, developed to help educators deal with social cruelty, described by Pickhardt as teasing, bullying, rumoring, ganging up, or exclusion from the group.

Putting caring ideas into the hands, minds, and hearts of those who work with young people is a gift that Carl Pickhardt shares widely and so well.

Dr. Mary Lee Webeck

Director of Education

Holocaust Museum Houston

WHO STOLE MY CHILD?

Who Stole My Child?

PARENTING THROUGH THE FOUR STAGES OF ADOLESCENCE

CARL PICKHARDT

Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics.

For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.

2018 by Carl Pickhardt

All rights reserved. Published 2018. Printed in the United States of America.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

Publisher:Central Recovery Press
3321 N. Buffalo Drive
Las Vegas, NV 89129

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Pickhardt, Carl E., 1939- author.

Title: Who stole my child? : parenting through the four stages of adolescence / Carl Pickhardt.

Description: Las Vegas, NV : Central Recovery Press, [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2018026177 (print) | LCCN 2018034933 (ebook) | ISBN 9781942094845 (ebook) | ISBN 9781942094838 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Adolescent psychology. | Adolescence. | Parenting.

Classification: LCC BF724 (ebook) | LCC BF724 .P563 2018 (print) | DDC 649/.125--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018026177

Author photo by Irene Pickhardt. Used with permission.

Every attempt has been made to contact copyright holders. If copyright holders have not been properly acknowledged please contact us. Central Recovery Press will be happy to rectify the omission in future printings of this book.

Publishers Note: This book contains general information about the stages of adolescence, family dynamics, and related matters. The information is not medical advice. This book is not an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.

Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, the names of some of the people, places, and institutions in this book may have been changed.

Cover by The Book Designers. Interior design by Sara Streifel, Think Creative Design.

To my parents and stepparents, under whose loving watch I took my journey of growing up.

HANGING ON WHILE LETTING GO

Metaphor from a Parent

Ill tell you what, parenting teenagers can be one wild ride! While youre hanging on so they dont get hurt, youre also letting go so they can find their way. Of course, there are times when theyre determined to buck you off to show they dont need a rider anymore to reset their course or slow them down. So you can get thrown. But because you love them, even after feeling bruised and weary, you pick yourself up, climb back in the saddle, and ride them to the finish.

Independence they call it. And despite little thanks for your efforts, its a race worth running to the end, bumps and all. Because, you know, we each are only doing what both of us are meant to do.

AUTHORS NOTE

The ideas and opinions about parenting adolescents contained in this book are drawn from many years of private counseling and public lecturing experience. Using personal observation and reflection, I try to conceptualize and illustrate how adolescence often changes the child, the parent in response, and the relationship between them.

I think of these changes more in terms of tendencies rather than certainties, since no one description of the adolescent passage can fit the great variety of them all. As for case examples and quotations used, these are fictional, created by me to illustrate key psychological points. Any resemblance to actual persons or life situations past or present is purely coincidental.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART ONE: Adolescence Marks the End of Childhood
(Up to Ages Eight to Nine)

PART TWO: Issues in Early Adolescence
(Ages Nine to Thirteen)

PART THREE: Issues in Mid-Adolescence
(Ages Thirteen to Fifteen)

PART FOUR: Issues in Late Adolescence
(Ages Fifteen to Eighteen)

PART FIVE: Issues in Trial Independence