Cockram Steve - 5 gears: how to be present and productive when there is never enough time

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Copyright 2015 by Pub House, LLC. All rights reserved.

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Published simultaneously in Canada.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:

Kubicek, Jeremie.

5 gears : how to be present and productive when there is never enough time / Jeremie Kubicek, Steve Cockram.

pages cm

Includes index.

ISBN 978-1-119-11115-3 (hardback); ISBN 978-1-119-11116-0 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-119-11117-7 (ebk)

1. Leadership. 2. Interpersonal relations. 3. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Cockram, Steve. II. Title. III. Title: Five gears.

HD57.7.K8154 2015

650.1dc23

2015013433

Jeremie dedicates this book to Kelly, Addison, Will, and Kate. You four make life amazing. Thank you for being for me as I am for you.

Steve dedicates this book to Helen, Izzy, Megan, and Charlie. Thank you for your incredible patience and love as I've slowly learned how to connect more effectively with each of you.

You're here, but you're really not here. You are with me, but you're somewhere far away. Have you ever heard those words before? Or possibly spoken them to someone else?

Every day, millions of people are negatively impacted by the inability of a person to connect appropriately and to be present. Social miscues, the lack of emotional intelligence, and busyness stifle the growth of people and the progress of organizations.

Additionally, millions of people suffer the consequences of divorce or abuse because people close to them have never learned how to properly connect with one another.

Whether from a boss or a co-worker or a family member, people put up with far too much drama because one person doesn't understand how to shift gears and become present.

Being present is an art form. People can actually learn how to connect well. While some people are naturally good at it, others struggle mightily. Yet those who practice can become masters at being in the right gear at the right time. These are people who know themselves and lead themselves and benefit from the influence and respect that follows.

We are tired of seeing people run over others, tired of dads and moms not being present with their children. We consistently see the disconnections of bosses from those they lead and the lack of awareness that comes from busy adults married to their tasks and missing the point and their lives.

These behaviors are precisely why we have written this book. The world is going through unparalleled cultural upheaval right now and we want to provide practical solutions that transform behavior in adults who have begun to become self-aware of their disconnected lives and trade them in by learning the art of being present.

Relational intelligence is the future competitive advantage for leaders. In the new world the capacity to establish, develop, and maintain key relationships both inside and outside your organization is going to become the primary currency of leadership influence. Relationships are more important than ever.

Be honest about your relational reality.

• Do you know what it's like to be on the other side of you?
• Do you know how to connect with people in every social context?
• Are you easy to connect with in your work setting?
• Do people like being around you?
• Are you able to be physically and emotionally present with people even when you have tight deadlines?
• Do you always have to win?
• Have you truly ever experienced being present with someone else?
• Do you know how to slow down enough to hear what someone else is saying?

These are the questions that will differentiate the leaders of the future. IQ and hard skills are essential but they are no longer enough. When you learn to grow your relational competencythe ability to connect with others and be presentthen you will be able to build long-term relationships and obtain a world of opportunity that most will miss.

5 Gears is a power book. It has the power to, if implemented, literally transform the relationships of those you love the most and help you become a significant leader at work and in your community. It is a simple but deep metaphor that is sticky, practical, and usable, if you take the time to insert the language and use the system in all five circles of influencepersonal, family, team, organization, and community.

IF. If you can admit to the areas in your life where you tend to disconnect and if you are willing to deal with them, then you are on your way. If you are willing to acknowledge your lack of presence in the lives of those around you, and if you're willing to reorder your days to become significant through the power that lies with the 5 Gears, transformation will be yours.

This resource will help you:

• Learn how to be present in the lives of those you live with or lead
• Learn how to shift gears in order to connect well
• Increase your influence as you become more self-aware about yourself and others
• Create a system for communication in teams, families, and organizations
• Eliminate drama that comes from busy lives and self-absorption
• Experience peace because you are engaged, connected, and present

We believe that the emotionally relevant and relationally connected person has a competitive advantage over others simply because the socially awkward, relationally disconnected person misses so much opportunity in their everyday task-driven world.