READERS LOVE THIS BOOK
In this aching, honest, and moving account of coming to terms with his sons Asperger diagnosis, Ron Fournier speaks to every parent who has struggled with not only accepting but embracing his or her childs differences. Quite frankly, that is every one of us. To varying degrees we all have two children; the one we hoped for and the one we have. It is the latter that is the blessing. Love That Boy reminds us not to be preoccupied with weaknesses but to look for strengths. Ultimately, Fournier sees clearly, without projection or intruding narcissism, the gift that he has been given in his quirky, whip-smart, and unforgettable son Ty. A brave and beautiful recounting.
MADELINE LEVINE, PH.D., AUTHOR OF THE PRICE OF PRIVILEGE AND TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL
This illuminating and touching book gives us the great gift of letting us know and appreciate the Aspergers world of young Tyler Fournier, who steals scenes from presidents while teaching his parents and all of us what is important in life.
DAVID MARANISS, PULITZER PRIZEWINNING AUTHOR OF ONCE IN A GREAT CITY: A DETROIT STORY
Ron Fournier has done a masterful job capturing the troubles and triumphs of parenting. That weas parents and caring adultstoo often superimpose our own needs and aspirations on the children we love is an important theme in this must-read new book. It is a moving tale of fatherhood and of coming to terms with a more enlightened definition of perfect.
STEPHEN GRAY WALLACE, PRESIDENT AND DIRECTOR OF THE CENTER FOR ADOLESCENT RESEARCH AND EDUCATION (CARE)
Theres no magic wand that can make the challenges of parenting disappear, but having the courage to talk honestly about them may be the next best thing. This is a candid look at raising an atypical child. Ron Fournier leads by example, digging through expectations and ego to lay bare what it means to love a child unconditionally.
OLIVIA MORGAN, MANAGING EDITOR, THE SHRIVER REPORT; MEMBER OF THE BOARD, NEW ENGLAND CENTER FOR CHILDREN
Ron Fourniers deeply personal account of the frustrations and celebrations that go along with raising a special child is deeply moving. As the proud father of an Aspergers child, Rons heartfelt work inspired me as much as I know it will inspire you.
JOE SCARBOROUGH, NBC NEWS SENIOR POLITICAL ANALYST AND HOST OF MORNING JOE
American presidents have the honor of meeting Tyler Fournier in this lovely, intimate, and inspiring book by his father, which has so much to teach all parents, sons, and daughters.
MICHAEL BESCHLOSS
Love That Boy captures both the fears and gifts of fatherhood and writes about it with honest, selfless clarity. This book is a joy to read and should be required for all new dadsReally.
JIM GAFFIGAN, COMEDIAN AND AUTHOR OF DAD IS FAT
Ron Fournier and his son Tyler are partners on an eye-opening road trip to the crossroads of love and humanity. Along the way, they meet Bill Clinton and George Bush; but the real reward for readers from his being on the road with his dad is that we meet Tyler, a young man with Aspergers and a heart as big as the country.
MIKE BARNICLE, JOURNALIST AND MSNBC NEWS ANALYST
Copyright 2016 by Ron Fournier
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
Harmony Books is a registered trademark, and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.
This work is adapted from First, Family, as originally published in National Journal magazine, on December 1, 2012.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available upon request.
ISBN9780804140485
eBook ISBN9780804140492
Cover design: Jessie Sayward Bright
Cover photograph: Gallery Stock
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Contents
To mothers and fathers, and to their children who are greater than any dream, especially:
Ron and Flo
Holly, Gabrielle, and Tyler
Above all, Lori
INTRODUCTION
Washington, D.C. Our noses almost touched the wall. Tall, white, and seamless, it was the only thing standing between us and the president of the United States. Stay right there, a White House aide told my wife and three children. The president will be with you in a minute. Suddenly the wall opened; it was a hidden door to the Oval Office. Come on in, Fournier! shouted George W. Bush from behind his desk. Who ya dragging in?
It was my last day covering the White House for the Associated Press, and this April 2003 visit was a courtesy that presidents traditionally afford departing correspondents. I introduced my wife, Lori, and two daughters, Holly and Gabrielle, before turning to their younger brother, 5-year-old Tyler.
Wheres Barney? my son shouted.
The five of us stood in front of Bushs desk, which, like everything else about the Oval Office, had a history. One of the most famous pictures of the Kennedy era, taken a few weeks before the presidents assassination, captured John F. Kennedy Jr. playing at his fathers feet beneath the same desk, which the younger JFK considered to be his secret clubhouse.
Behind Bush, outside broad southern windows, sat a tiny black dogits back to the Oval Office and its eyes fixed on the street beyond the White House fence.
Getting up to shake hands, the president blocked Tylers view of the windows. Wheres Barney? Tyler shouted again, in a voice so inappropriately loud and demanding that I jumped slightly.
Bush smiled and noddedfirst to an aide and then to the lawn. Hes coming. Hes right there. He likes to sit out there.
Tyler launched into a one-sided conversation, firing off one choppy phrase after another with machine-gun delivery. Scottish terriers are called scotties, they originated from Scotland, they can be traced back to a single female named Splinter II, President Roosevelt had one, he called it Fala. Dad says he kept him in the office down there when he was swimming, theres one in Monopoly, my favorite is the car
Tyler stopped when the Scottish terrier scampered into the room and started sniffing the guests. Watch out! Bush laughed. Hes a guard dog.
Barney! Tyler yelled. Barney!
I cringed. Tyler was a loving, charming, and brilliant boyhe had a photographic memorybut he was somehow different. His voice was jarringly deep and loud for a kid his age. He fixated on topics, like presidential history and animals. He was, in a word, quirky. But the president was enchanted. He laughed, listened, and asked Tyler several questions about dogs before gathering us together for photos.
Look at your shoes, Bush told Tyler while putting a hand on my boys shoulder and steering him toward the photographer. Theyre ugly. Just like your dads. Tylers head rocked back in laughter, and his right foot kicked out; his whole body shook.
A few minutes later we were walking out of the Oval Office when Bush grabbed me by the elbow. Love that boy, he said, holding my eyes. I thought I understood what he meant.
I didnt.
It took me years to understand.