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This book is dedicated to the memory of my late father, William E. Fox.
I dont know what brought you to this book, darling, but I am so glad youre here.
Maybe you got knocked down and you need a little help getting back up. Perhaps you invested in loving the wrong person. Maybe you dont even know where to start on your dream and you see everyone else in this Instagram-filtered world living theirs. Ive been there.
Let me tell you a secret. When I was a little girl growing up in Indianapolis, no one could say Vivica. I used to get called Vuh-vee-sha or Vi-vike-a, anything but the right way. And, honestly, most folks just couldnt be bothered. I was so sensitive about my name that I made it easy for everyone else, going by a shortening of my middle name, Anjanetta. You can call me Angie, Id say, like an apology. In life sometimes we run away from the things that make us unique.
I didnt become Vivica until I came to California and met my first casting director at an audition. I told her my real name, then quickly blurted out my usual, But its okay, you can call me Angie.
Why? You have a beautiful name, she said. As a matter of fact you should be Vivica A. Fox, so people will always remember you as Vivicas a fox.
And honey, I thought I was gold. By 1992, Id been on an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and landed a spot on an NBC sitcom by the same creator. The show was called Out All Night , and I got to play the daughter of none other than Miss Patti LaBelle. Out All Night was set in a club, so I was meeting musical guests like Luther Vandross, Mary J. Blige, TLC, and Mark Wahlberg when he was just Marky Mark. I made the cover of Jet , and I knew those people back home in Indianapolis could say my name now. I had made it.
Then one morning we all came in for a table read. Wed taped a show the night before, and I thought we killed it. Yeah, you killed it, someone said. The shows canceled. Clean out your shit.
They werent even going to air the last show. Now, I wish I had a tape of myself crying at that table, because, Lord, it would show how deep and ugly I can go as an actress. I was in such a state that Miss Patti couldnt believe it. Child, you crying so much you bout to turn white, she joked. Youre gonna be all right. Youll see.
Here I had one of the most talented and experienced entertainers in history telling me I would be okay, but I couldnt hear it. I was devastated. I was living in this cute little condo in Inglewood, thinking Id made it. Id put two thousand miles between little Angie and the person I wanted to be. And now I was losing it all.
It got worse. I would go on audition after audition, watching my bank account dwindle as each time I would make it to the final callback and then theyd go with the bigger-named black actress. At the time, Jasmine Guy from A Different World was the It girl blowing up. Me, I was just blown up.
Finally, I had to call home to tell my mom I was in trouble. Everlyena Fox spent my childhood working. She was a single mom who held down two jobs to provide for us four kids after my parents divorced when I was four. She believed in two things: work and God.
Ill never forget the call. I gingerly told her I might need a bit of a loan. If you can help me out She said yes, and I cried. And I told her, Okay, Im not going to be calling and asking for money again, so Ive got to figure this shit out.
Write a letter, Mom told me. Put it in your Bible and pray about it. He will bring it back to you.
So I got on my knees. And I wrote this:
I want to be successful. I want to be a star and I want to work as an actress. And Ive got a taste of things, but it seems I cant get over the hump. It seems Im always almost just making it and then coming up a little bit short.
If you could just help me to stay focused and help me to stay positive, I promise that Ill be good. And do good. And give back.
Maybe youre feeling the same way. You just cant get over that hump and you keep coming up a little bit short. For me, the answer came when I asked. And the answer was to get to work.
And keep at it. I worked my ass offsometimes literallyto get Independence Day , Set It Off , and Kill Bill . I took risks to get Curb Your Enthusiasm and was offered the role on Empire because Lee Daniels liked how I handled myself with the silliness on Celebrity Apprentice . I got to return to the big screen as Jasmine in Independence Day: Resurgence and be the Head Chick in Charge on my own show, Vivicas Black Magic . My grind dont stop, and people notice.
Sure, thereve been failures and heartbreak in relationships. Im working on that, trust and believe. You can also trust that as a single black actress in my fifties, I understand struggle. I get up every day to fight for my place in Hollywood. And sometimes Im still my own worst critic, looking at whats wrong instead of whats right. Just this week I saw a paparazzi photo of me walking out of something with my arm waving. See, you had your arm up and look at that tummy , I said to myself. You look a little fat through there.
And then I had to say, Snap out of it, bitch. You gotta be your biggest cheerleader. Get out of your own way.
I want to help you as you get out of your own way, too. Now, my language can be what I call street but sweetmy friends didnt nickname me Ghetto Barbie for nothing. But I can also take you to church. The Lord loves a scrappy girl.
I owe this book to my mother, who told me to write down my dream. But this book is not about making a wish. I want to provide concrete, real strategies for realizingor even just figuring out your dream.
And I hope its a big one. Theres nothing wrong with having big dreams. It just means you have to put in more effort. Some people today think they can swipe right or press send and something can happen overnight, and you dont have to work for nothing. Its so different from what I know to be the truth. I have had to work for every damn thing. My mama told me growing up, Youre gonna work. I dont care if you think youre cute. Yes, you are, but your ass is gonna work.
So take my hand, darling, and lets work together.
I wanted to look like a goddess.
This spring the beauty magazine Sheen threw me a party naming me Woman of the Year, so I felt I had to look the part. They had flown me from L.A. and put me up in a lovely suite in the Atlanta Marriott Marquis. I still had a few minutes before I needed to head downstairs to the black-tie gala, so I did one last check in the full-length mirror.
My hair was up high and off my face, and my makeup artist Daryon Haylock had given me a smoky eye, glowy skin, and a bold lip. For a big event we always put just a little glitter on my face, a little shimmer to feel regal.
Instead of an LBD, I went with a little black Alexander McQueen gown that my girl at Neiman Marcus Beverly Hills, Bani, helped me pick out. A halter-neck, down-to-the-ground stretch-knit, the dress hugged every curve and accented all of my assets. The dress showed off my armswhich you know I had been putting some extra work into defining since I picked the gownand it had a tasteful cutout to show the cleavage. The girls were sittin up proper, I thought, running my fingers over the dresss jeweled neckline. This wide collar of sparkling jewels was what sold me on the dress. It reminded me of Audrey Hepburns diamond necklace in Breakfast at Tiffanys .