Holtzman Rachel - Pretty fun: creating and celebrating a lifetime of tradition

What lies at the heart of this book, and what makes this project such a special one to me, are the lessons I learned from a very early age about the importance of gathering, marking events big and small, and enjoying the company of the people who matter to you most.

T HIS MIGHT COME as a surprise, but this is not a book about parties. Dont worry, well talk about decorations and delicious food and all the really fun, creative ways to celebrate a special occasionand were going to have a great time doing itbut thats not whats at the heart of this book. What makes this project such a special one to me, are the lessons I learned from a very early age about the importance of gathering, marking events big and small, and enjoying the company of the people who matter to you most.

Growing up, my parents had careers that demanded a lot of thema lot of travel, busy schedules, and a lot of responsibilities that took our entire family outside of the home. Despite those demanding schedules, they were always present for us kids, and they let us know that our time together was meaningful by making the most of it, which in our house meant lots of food, drink, conversation, and laughter. For our big, crazy, blended family, they made it a priority to preserve what you might consider traditional values in a very nontraditional life.

In our childhood home everyone was welcome. If we were home, the door was open. Thered be snacks in the fridge and music on the stereo. You could put your feet on the furniture, and nobody minded if you stayed for dinner because thered usually be a big pot of something on the stove (my mom is the one-pot queen!), like elk stew or chicken and dumplings, making the house smell so wonderful and cozy. On those days, there wasnt any question about what all of our friends would be doing after school, because theyd always end up at our house, sharing the days stories with my parents, unwinding, and feeling right at home.

If it was a Sunday night, wed have a simple, laid-back dinner, and you can bet that by the time the meal was ready thered be fifteen, twenty people at the table. It wasnt because my mom was an amazing cook (though she most definitely isand her proves it!); it was because our house was a place where people could connect. It was a house full of the vibrant sounds of people, and it filled us all with so much joy. There was never anything forced or overly planned about it; it was just a way of life.

Sure, my parents loved to entertainevery year they hosted a Christmas party, complete with a carol sing-along with official lyric books, and Thanksgiving was essentially a big game of musical chairs, because they never said no to anyone joining us, whether it was family, friends, friends of friends, or folks with nowhere else to gobut it was the everyday gatherings that made our house special.

Well, that kind of thing rubs off on you. So when I started my own household in my twenties, I carried these traditions with meand gave them my unique twist. I wanted to create that kind of environment for my kids and for my own tribe of friends and adopted family, where everyone felt like they could kick off their shoes, sit on anything, and knew that if they spilled their wine or even had a glass too many, theyd still be invited back. I wanted people to feel safe in my home and, of course, have a great time! My philosophy toward hosting is Pretty Fun nothing too perfect, nothing too fussy, just the right amount of attention to detail to look great, but not so stuffy you cant enjoy yourself.

Its a philosophy thats deeply connected to the concepts I explored in my first book, Pretty Happy . Writing that was its own kind of celebrationof finally discovering how to slow down, tune in, and figure out how to give myself what I need to feel my absolute best, inside and out. It was the culmination of a lot of soul-searching, where I finally realized how important true connection was and how to take care of myself in a more complete way: Mind and body. Body and soul. Pilates and hot yoga and spinning and sometimes just a nice long hike. Its what Id call holistic and balanced. Once I realized that nourishing every little piece of myself in a forgiving, loving way made me Pretty Happy , I had to share it! And this book is a natural extension of that. Because heres the thing: gathering is just as crucial a part of self-care as eating well and having a movement practice. Plus the very same lessons I learned about taking better care of myself make for even more meaningful gathering. It all adds up to one big, beautiful cycle that can infuse your life with that much more pleasure, significance, rootedness, and contentment. If that doesnt sound like its worth its own little party, then I dont know what does!

AYURVEDIC MEDICINE (an ancient Indian prescription for health that integrates mind, body, and spirit) teaches that true wellness is achieved only when you treat the whole person. Its a powerful idea that Ive incorporated into my life, and Im a firm believer that even if Im honoring my body with the most healthful foods and exercise and being super-disciplined with meditation or breath work, I wont truly feel grounded or even-keeled unless Im also taking care of my spirit. I know that might sound a little New Agey, but seriously, think about how you feel when you laugh. Like really laugh. Or how happy you are when surrounded by your closest friends, feeling seen, heard, and supported. Or when youre sharing stories about your day with your family over a meal that you prepared yourself. Doesnt sound so out there now, does it? Those are all spirit-feeding, soul-satisfying things that would make anyone feel good. And thats exactly what gatheringand Pretty Fun is all about. I dont have an open-door policy at my house because Im a huge party animal, and I dont put in the extra effort to deck out my living room/garden/pool with theme-coordinated decorations and yummy, healthful snacks because I want to show off. Its because connecting with the people I care about makes me feel complete. Taking care of them and creating a space to have a good time is how I feel nourished. When you summon that intention in yourself (something well be talking about quite a bit in this book), even the simplest, most spur-of-the-moment get-together can feel substantive and important.

Photograph courtesy of the author

One reason getting together is so powerful is because it keeps us connected with our tribe. Our network of trusted loved oneswhether its friends, siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, children, gurus, mentors, or partners (past and present)is our support system, our safety net. Theyre the people who you know will be there to share the good and lift you up after the bad and the ugly. Bonding with your tribe, even if its a collection of strays that youve picked up over the years, gives you an increased sense of security, confidence, and peace. And when we get together, we get to honor thatand usually have a Pretty Fantastic time!