Dan Marshall - Dad Hacks

Neither the author nor the publisher can be held responsible for any loss or claim arising out of the use, or misuse, of the suggestions made herein.

CONTENTS

Being a dad is tough. As a responsible parent, youre expected to dedicate time and attention to the upbringing of your child (or children)essential things, like their ABCs. But where does that leave the three Bsbeer, burgers, and baseball? (Other sports work here too, but there are only so many beginning with b.) The truth is, whatever youre intobe it books, beer, or balletparental duties always require effort, and we here at the Life Hacks Institute are doing everything in our power to free mankind from this terrible, terrible burden.

Inside youll find over a hundred ways to save time and effortwhether its while cleaning up around the house, chowing down on some delicious takeout, or helping little Johnny or Daisy have a kick-ass time with a cardboard box. In short, this book will help you in almost every aspect of your life (except maybe in the bedroomif you made it to fatherhood, youre probably doing OK in that area already).

Having moved houses several times, I must confess that this next hack never crossed my mind. Im an idiot. An idiot with a bad back. Heres how it should be done.

If youre packing up to move or simply storing the mountain of painfully expensive and now woefully neglected stack of toys that have been gathering dust for the past year, load heavy items into a suitcase with wheels and pull it to wherever it needs to go. The last thing you need is to load up a heavy box only to have the bottom fall out on you. Heavy things hurt when they land on your toes.

Some time in the near future you might feel the need to add a tasteless novelty key ring to your bunch (or perhaps you got a Dora the Explorer key chain from your little darling last birthday?). Prying the key ring apart can be a pain.

To overcome this inconvenience, use a staple remover. Wedge the teeth of the remover in between the clasp of the ring, making it as easy as pie to slip on your new addition. Personally, I recommend a pewter Winnie the Pooh.

If, at home, one of your many scintillating chores is to take out the trash, I feel your pain. When you have stuffed as much in there as humanly possible, trying to get the bag out can be tricky. This is due to the vacuum that is created when trying to yank the garbage bag out. To rectify this little problem, get your power drill out (what do you mean you dont have one?!).

Drill a couple of holes at the bottom of the container to stop the vacuum ever forming. The bag will now lift out with ease.

Where do all those earring backs, contact lenses, and Scuba Steve accessories go when you drop them? Ill tell you where: theyre still there, its just that youre just too blind to see them.

When you drop something small and cant find it, grab your vacuum cleaner and a pair of old tights. Slip the tights over the vacuum nozzle and fix in place with an elastic band. Run the vacuum over the area where you think you dropped your item and, with a bit of luck, the item will be sucked onto the tights where you can pick it off with ease. If you find anything of value that isnt yours, then remember this: finders keepers, losers weepers.

Are you sick of losing the remote? I have to say that sometimes I find mine buried in the garden. If only there were a way of making sure that it stays put...

Velcro is your friend for this hack. Attach some to the back of the remote (use the kind with an adhesive backing, available at all good hardware stores) and its corresponding part to the edge of the coffee table, or wherever you want to keep the remote (not the bathroom). And you dont have to stop at the remotego wild and figure out what else needs a more permanent home! (Note: using Velcro to strap your kids down in their seat will be frowned upon the local authorities.)

Crayon scribbles on the wall are the bane of any household with young children. But this way of removing them (the scribbles, not the kids) will put your mind at ease.

Take a cloth, spray a little water-displacing lubricant on it (the kind that comes in a bold blue-and-yellow can), and apply to the offending area. The crayon marks will magically disappear!

Picture the scene: its late at night and youve just settled down at your computer to do some serious Googling. Your beer is positioned within arms reach; but wait... where are the snacks? No problem. Put your hoodie on backwards, empty a bag of popcorn into the hood, and voilapopcorn right in front of you. Just make sure the kids arent around for this oneyouve seen how piranha swarm a piece of meat....