Lisa Gache - Beverly Hills Manners: golden rules from the worlds most glamorous zip code

Copyright 2013 by Lisa Gach

Illustrations copyright 2013 Lauren Oliver

Originally published as 24 Karat Etiquette in 2013.

New materials 2014 Lisa Gach

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Print ISBN: 978-1-62914-585-3

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-62914-869-4

Printed in the United States of America

For my girls, Sydney and Dylan, who fuel my passion for manners, and for my husband, Brad, who embodies them naturally, every single day.

Contents

Introduction Welcome to Beverly Hills

Everyone wants a piece of this town.

The relentless fascination with Beverly Hills didnt begin with 90210 or the now-famous housewives, but recently its hit critical mass appeal.

I thought it was time someone came clean and revealed how the rich, famous, privileged, and entitled really behave in this little hamlet.

Although I am a native New Yorker, I nevertheless grew up in Beverly Hills, graduated from Beverly Hills High School, and still call it home. So I feel as though Ive earned the right to own the subject.

I was raised in a somewhat non-traditional family, split by divorce. I cant say I wasnt privileged in many ways. Although we lived full time in a house on the wrong side of the tracks (in Beverly Hills, that means south of Wilshire Boulevard and east of Dohenythe slums ) with my mother, my father would whisk my sister and me away on exotic vacations, and sometimes wed ride in a chauffeur-driven limousine to school. But I was not reared with the good manners I teach today. I dont think I wrote a single thank-you note until I got married.

My two daughters were the impetus for my interest in this subject. I saw etiquette as an important foundation for becoming confident, self-reliant human beings, something I certainly wanted more of as an adult. I picked up this knowledge quite late in life, and its a constant learning process. I hope this admission makes me, and the manners Im teaching, more accessible to beginners.

I obtained my first job after college in the entertainment industry, working in music and film. Little did I know this entre into that unique world would be the perfect foundation for my future work. My first foray as an entrepreneur was starting a concierge service, and I spent my time serving the big personalities in entertainment and the Internet, celebrities and CEOs alike.

My concierge business turned into a baby concierge business (if youve seen the Bravo show Pregnant in High Heels , thats it, in essence, sans the storefront and designer maternity line) after the birth of my second daughter. While doing research for my clients, I came across a class called Petite Protocol that was held at the Hotel Bel-Air. I called the hotel and had a lengthy discussion with their PR person, who suggested I scrap the concierge business and focus on forming an etiquette business because she felt it was a field that had not been saturated here in LA and yet was so needed, especially for children.

She connected me to the instructor of the class, etiquette expert Diane Diehl, who had more than twenty-five years of experience in the business and graciously took me under her wing and taught me everything she knew. Two years later, I was ready to open up my own shingle and founded Beverly Hills Manners, with the philosophy of teaching manners in a fun and entertaining way to bring these skills to a wider audience. In January 2009, the Los Angeles Times named us the etiquette school that will teach your kids to be polite.

Even though I was receiving acknowledgment from the outside and had a wealth of hands-on experience, I felt it was important to have a credential to hang on my wall, so I enrolled in The Protocol School of Washington, the first and only nationally accredited school to meet the high standards set by the Accrediting Council for Continuing Education and Training (ACCET) and the US Department of Education. I received a certification as a Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant. The training provided me with amazing tools, as well as a few secrets I like to keep up my sleeve, which I am reserving purposefully so that even if you read this book cover to cover, youll still have a reason to come to Beverly Hills and work with me in person.

Since then, Ive had a blast dispensing tips on a host of local and national television shows. Ive advised how to navigate public transit with ease and make a New Years Eve toast to Anderson Coopers guests, talked air travel perils with Kathie Lee and Hoda (and P.S., there were no formal offerings of alcoholic beverages), sorted through moral compass questions with The Today Show hosts, and counseled a loud-mouthed grandma who was making a public nuisance of herself at her grandkids Little League games on Dr. Phil.

I receive regular inquiries spanning the continents, from Dubai to Hong Kong to Rio de Janeiro. They want to learn the ins and outs of how we do things hereto be Americanized , which is surprising to me, since Americans are renowned throughout the world as rude.

Not a day goes by without me having to dispel the many misperceptions about manners. I hear push back from parents and others who refer to etiquette class as a threat or punishment for bad behavior. Most believe this entire subject matter to be elitist and only for the extremely wealthy. While its true that these rules were written for the upper crust, its rarely the upper crust that practices them. A thoughtful upbringing can come from any strata of society. However, if you practice good manners, everyone will think you come from money, or the American Southminus an accent, a.k.a. money . Southern culture is a microclimate where most people are raised with exemplary manners, and I think southerners have a lot to teach other Americans in this regard. Everyone should have access to this information because it gives us such an advantage in human transactions, from the business world to traveling the world.

That world is changing every day, but the basic guidelines for mutual human respect are not. Whether youre five or ninety-five, any tools that enable you to feel more confident, poised, intelligent, communicative, and comfortable are of incredible value.

Welcome to Beverly Hills

Where narcissism is a competitive sport.

In this land of spray tans, designer rip-offs, surgical enhancements , and countless other hilarious, vacuous pursuits, the infatuation with celebrity lifestyles is more like a mass stalking. In general, celebrities are not helping. Reality (a word I apply with a second helping of irony) television rules the world now, and the more devastating the train wreck, the better. Why be polite and demure when outrageous is so much more tantalizingand lucrative? A good scandal used to take weeks to unfold; now its minutes, thanks to unsocial media. Still, the financial return on infamy is colossal, and it better be, because a shack in this zip code will set you back a couple mill. This is what were exporting to the world: a cargo ship packed with bad manners, in very pretty packages.