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Lott Williford - Lets pretend were normal: adventures in rediscovering how to be a family

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    Lets pretend were normal: adventures in rediscovering how to be a family
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Lets pretend were normal: adventures in rediscovering how to be a family: summary, description and annotation

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Dear friend, If you and I are new to each other, let me start here: This is not how this was supposed to go! In the portrait I had long ago painted of my family, I didnt intend to include words like widowed single mom. I had envisioned many more decades with my husband Robb in the complicated, beautiful life of marriage. But in the course of twelve hours, our family of four became a trio, and since that day my boys and I have been creating a new life in an upside-down world. I have written this new book, which in a lot of ways is a sequel to And Life Comes Back, to answer the question so many have asked: And then what happened - after the crisis became reality and your life began again? Ive leaned into honest storytelling to offer a look into the chaos and beauty of who we have become. Ill be honest, this book was harder to write because Im living it right now - I hardly feel like an expert who has figured it out. I hope my straight-up-honest stories will give you encouragement to take the next step. And the next. And the next. Sometimes, you just have to pretend you know what youre doing, pretend youre brave enough, and pretend you can do this. Sometimes you just have to pretend youre normal until the new normal finds you--Publishers description.;I will do this! -- In our family -- People need spoons -- Its just different -- Whole all along -- Lets start right here.

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Contents
Praise for Lets Pretend Were Normal Without being preachy or prescriptive - photo 1

Praise for
Lets Pretend Were Normal

Without being preachy or prescriptive, this book is loaded with practical insights that Tricia Williford seamlessly embeds within her charming storytelling. Tricia provides inspiration through authenticity by never shrinking from pain or hyping success. Lets Pretend Were Normal is an honest look at the often messy, sometimes joyful, and always loving work of being a family.

J OHN C OTTON R ICHMOND , human-trafficking

prosecutor and former director of International Justice

Missions slavery work in India

Dont miss this one! Tricia Williford, a young widow with boys to raise, writes with honesty and humor about mining the beauty of life after happily ever after meets I never saw this coming.

S HELLIE R USHING T OMLINSON , author of Heart Wide

Open: Trading Mundane Faith for an Exuberant Life

with Jesus

Tricia Williford has found a way to sort through her grief, find treasures in the darkness, and then articulate it all in a way thats tangible and life-giving for those still in the valley. Lets Pretend Were Normal gives you an inside look at the everydayness of a family still finding their way after a significant loss. If you find yourself sorting through the aftermath of heartache or tragedy, youll find a new friend in Tricia, whos still sorting through her loss with honesty and heartfelt sincerity.

S USIE L ARSON , radio host, speaker, and author of Your

Beautiful Purpose

A LSO BY T RICIA L OTT W ILLIFORD

And Life Comes Back

Lets pretend were normal adventures in rediscovering how to be a family - photo 2L ETS P RETEND W ERE N ORMAL P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS - photo 3
L ETS P RETEND W ERE N ORMAL P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS 12265 Oracle - photo 4L ETS P RETEND W ERE N ORMAL P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS 12265 Oracle - photo 5

L ETS P RETEND W ERE N ORMAL

P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS

12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200

Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921

Scripture quotations or paraphrases are taken from the following versions: Contemporary English Version. Copyright 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Trade Paperback ISBN9780307732002

eBook ISBN9780307732019

Copyright 2015 by Tricia Lott Williford

Cover design by Kelly L. Howard

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lott Williford, Tricia.

Lets pretend were normal : adventures in rediscovering how to be a family / Tricia Lott Williford. First Edition.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-307-73200-2 ISBN 978-0-307-73201-9 (electronic) 1. FamiliesReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. FamiliesReligious life. I. Title.

BT707.7.L68 2015

248.86dc23

2014043263

v4.1

a

For my mom and dad

You make me happy when skies are gray contents prologue Once upon a time - photo 6You make me happy when skies are gray contents prologue Once upon a time - photo 7

You make me happy when skies are gray.

contents
prologue

Once upon a time there was a Curly Girl. When she was in college, she fell in love with Mr. Responsible, and they were engaged to be married just three months after they met, even though Curly Girl still cant believe anyone approved that engagement at age nineteen, because who were these kids kidding that they knew all about love? Anyway, Curly Girl turned twenty-one on their honeymoon, and this couple started a lovelyalbeit young!life together.

Curly Girl and Mr. Responsible had two children: Athlete and Artist. Athlete and Artist were born accomplices; in perpetuity, one had an idea, the other agreed, and the instigator could almost never be identified with complete accuracy.

For almost four thousand days, Curly Girl and Mr. Responsible lived the complicated, beautiful life of marriage. They woke up next to each other and kissed each other good night. They were honest and dishonest and unfiltered and guarded. They were kind and unkind to each other, often in the same day and somehow all at the same time. They took each other for granted, which is one of the hidden gifts of life together: the forgetting to appreciate. He took care of her in ways she didnt know; she brought color to his life in shades he didnt recognize. He was measured and careful; she was spontaneous and impulsive. He held the string to her kite; she was the air in his balloon.

Mr. Responsible died, suddenly and tragically. He was sick for only twelve hours. Doctors thought he had the flu. Nobody knew that he had an infection in his bloodstream and had become toxic to himself. A thief named sepsis stole his breath and his heartbeat, and his spirit slipped right through Curly Girls fingers, even as she tried to save him on the floor of their bedroom only two days before Christmas.

In the course of one day, Curly Girl became the widowed, single mom of two children not yet in kindergarten. She lost her husband, her confidence, and nearly her faith. Curly Girls world became very small, and she began to piece together a broken life one meal and one word at a time. Her two boys, Athlete and Artist, learned too much too soon: death is real, a parent can die, sometimes God says no, and heaven is a place that isnt here. They saved their mothers life by giving her a reason to live at all. A family of four became a trio, a braided cord with frayed edges but a tight knot.

Some stories finish with And they all lived happily ever after. Other stories continue to write themselves. Scars dont go away, but life grows deeper than the scars and reveals a landscape that includes them. Boys grow taller, hearts grow stronger, the sun still shines, and life comes back. The opposite of death is creating, and an end can be followed only by a beginning. Curly Girl, Athlete, and Artist are living with joy and staying in the moment with a smattering of cake batter, finger paints, soccer practice, and unmade beds.

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