Contents
Praise for
Lets Pretend Were Normal
Without being preachy or prescriptive, this book is loaded with practical insights that Tricia Williford seamlessly embeds within her charming storytelling. Tricia provides inspiration through authenticity by never shrinking from pain or hyping success. Lets Pretend Were Normal is an honest look at the often messy, sometimes joyful, and always loving work of being a family.
J OHN C OTTON R ICHMOND , human-trafficking
prosecutor and former director of International Justice
Missions slavery work in India
Dont miss this one! Tricia Williford, a young widow with boys to raise, writes with honesty and humor about mining the beauty of life after happily ever after meets I never saw this coming.
S HELLIE R USHING T OMLINSON , author of Heart Wide
Open: Trading Mundane Faith for an Exuberant Life
with Jesus
Tricia Williford has found a way to sort through her grief, find treasures in the darkness, and then articulate it all in a way thats tangible and life-giving for those still in the valley. Lets Pretend Were Normal gives you an inside look at the everydayness of a family still finding their way after a significant loss. If you find yourself sorting through the aftermath of heartache or tragedy, youll find a new friend in Tricia, whos still sorting through her loss with honesty and heartfelt sincerity.
S USIE L ARSON , radio host, speaker, and author of Your
Beautiful Purpose
A LSO BY T RICIA L OTT W ILLIFORD
And Life Comes Back
L ETS P RETEND W ERE N ORMAL
P UBLISHED BY W ATER B ROOK P RESS
12265 Oracle Boulevard, Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
Scripture quotations or paraphrases are taken from the following versions: Contemporary English Version. Copyright 1991, 1992, 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica Inc.TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
Trade Paperback ISBN9780307732002
eBook ISBN9780307732019
Copyright 2015 by Tricia Lott Williford
Cover design by Kelly L. Howard
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
W ATER B ROOK and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lott Williford, Tricia.
Lets pretend were normal : adventures in rediscovering how to be a family / Tricia Lott Williford. First Edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-0-307-73200-2 ISBN 978-0-307-73201-9 (electronic) 1. FamiliesReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. FamiliesReligious life. I. Title.
BT707.7.L68 2015
248.86dc23
2014043263
v4.1
a
For my mom and dad
You make me happy when skies are gray.
contents
prologue
Once upon a time there was a Curly Girl. When she was in college, she fell in love with Mr. Responsible, and they were engaged to be married just three months after they met, even though Curly Girl still cant believe anyone approved that engagement at age nineteen, because who were these kids kidding that they knew all about love? Anyway, Curly Girl turned twenty-one on their honeymoon, and this couple started a lovelyalbeit young!life together.
Curly Girl and Mr. Responsible had two children: Athlete and Artist. Athlete and Artist were born accomplices; in perpetuity, one had an idea, the other agreed, and the instigator could almost never be identified with complete accuracy.
For almost four thousand days, Curly Girl and Mr. Responsible lived the complicated, beautiful life of marriage. They woke up next to each other and kissed each other good night. They were honest and dishonest and unfiltered and guarded. They were kind and unkind to each other, often in the same day and somehow all at the same time. They took each other for granted, which is one of the hidden gifts of life together: the forgetting to appreciate. He took care of her in ways she didnt know; she brought color to his life in shades he didnt recognize. He was measured and careful; she was spontaneous and impulsive. He held the string to her kite; she was the air in his balloon.
Mr. Responsible died, suddenly and tragically. He was sick for only twelve hours. Doctors thought he had the flu. Nobody knew that he had an infection in his bloodstream and had become toxic to himself. A thief named sepsis stole his breath and his heartbeat, and his spirit slipped right through Curly Girls fingers, even as she tried to save him on the floor of their bedroom only two days before Christmas.
In the course of one day, Curly Girl became the widowed, single mom of two children not yet in kindergarten. She lost her husband, her confidence, and nearly her faith. Curly Girls world became very small, and she began to piece together a broken life one meal and one word at a time. Her two boys, Athlete and Artist, learned too much too soon: death is real, a parent can die, sometimes God says no, and heaven is a place that isnt here. They saved their mothers life by giving her a reason to live at all. A family of four became a trio, a braided cord with frayed edges but a tight knot.
Some stories finish with And they all lived happily ever after. Other stories continue to write themselves. Scars dont go away, but life grows deeper than the scars and reveals a landscape that includes them. Boys grow taller, hearts grow stronger, the sun still shines, and life comes back. The opposite of death is creating, and an end can be followed only by a beginning. Curly Girl, Athlete, and Artist are living with joy and staying in the moment with a smattering of cake batter, finger paints, soccer practice, and unmade beds.