Tim Shoemaker - Super Husband, Super Dad: You Can Be the Hero Your Family Needs

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Verses marked ( NLT ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Cover by Aesthetic Soup, Shakopee, Minnesota

Cover photo iStock / Remains

Published in association with Hartline Literary Agency, LLC, of 123 Queenston Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15235.

SUPER HUSBAND, SUPER DAD

Copyright 2014 Tim Shoemaker

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Shoemaker, Tim.

Super husband, super dad / Tim Shoemaker.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-7369-5350-4 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-5351-1 (eBook)

1. HusbandsReligious life. 2. FathersReligious life. 3. FatherhoodReligious aspectsChristianity. I. Title.

BV4528.3.S56 2014

248.8'421dc23

2013043568

All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any otherwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of authors and publishers rights is strictly prohibited.

To my three sons, Andy, Mark, and Luke. May marriage and parenting bring you every bit as much joy as it has me.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

3 J OHN 4

And dedicated to you, the man reading this book, and to the plans God has for you.

Unless the L ORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain.

P SALM 127:1

Special thanks to

Cec Murphyfor planting the first seed that I should write this book.

Kathleen Kerrfor convincing me to write this, for championing the manuscript, and for expert editing.

Noah Kerrfor a reaction to the manuscript that helped convince Kathleen it needed to be published.

My dadfor perfectly modeling so many of these principles to me.

My wife, CherylI definitely wouldnt be here without you, Babe!

Contents

The best parenting advice I ever gotand a look at the missing element in many marriages.

A starting point for bringing passion back into your marriage.

The wrong response at the wrong time never turns out right.

Two tools every guy needs to stay on the road to a solid marriage and good parenting.

Treasure your wife and youre in for a sweet ride.

They need your undivided attentionand a little P.D.A.

When a man pitches in, hes helping his wife and kids at the same time.

Two deadly games couples play that lead to hard hearts.

Submission in marriage should be as comfortable as a pair of well-worn jeansand it can be.

Disagreements and arguments can roll like storms across a marriage. Heres how to survive them.

The secret to handling issues too big to ignore.

Dont tell secrets about each other, and dont keep secrets from each other. This is a secret formula that works.

Sex is one of Gods greatest inventions. Heres how it can strengthen your marriage and family.

Sexual sin takes down many marriages. Heres how to keep your guard up.

You can have a million-dollar marriage when you do it Gods way.

Pornography is a monster that can destroy everything youve worked for as a husband and dad. Well look at the need to break freeand how to do it.

Keep things fun and fresh by celebrating holidays and creating your own.

Twelve things you can do to strengthen your marriage and keep it strong.

We want our kids to grow up to love God and follow himbut are we really aiming at that?

Watch for openings to teach your kids important life lessons.

What does it look like to be a hero to our kidsand what happens if we fail?

Home isnt just where the heart is. It should also be a place where your kids can hang out with their friends.

Guidelines and reminders for protecting your kids through the dating phaseand some things to consider long before they get there.

When kids fight to be free youre in for tension. End the fight by showing kids you want exactly the same thing for them: freedom.

One thing your kids must know. One thing they must hear. One thing they must understand. One thing they must accept.

God gives us time, resources, and the freedom to choose how to use them. Choose wisely.

Sometimes youre like one of those circus performers trying to keep plates spinning on sticks. So which plates get your highest priority?

Here are some ways to help your man be your hero.

Once upon a time, men wore the pants, and wore them well. Women rarely had to open doors and little old ladies never crossed the street alone. Men took charge because thats what they did. But somewhere along the way, the world decided it no longer needed men. Disco by disco, latte by non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny. But today there are questions our genderless society has no answers for. The world sits idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street. For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes. We need grown-ups. We need men to put down the plastic fork, step away from the salad bar, and untie the world from the tracks of complacency. Its time to get your hands dirty. Its time to answer the call of manhood. Its time to wear the pants.

F ROM AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR D OCKERS JEANS

T he first time I read this Levis ad, I actually laughed. I liked it. Really liked it. Not surprisingly, the ad got some people riled up and was labeled as controversial.

But I think there is an element of truth here. Im not suggesting that men need to get all Neanderthal and start treating women like objects or like theyre inferior. Just the opposite. I think were living in an age when men need to stand up and be men. To do the right thing even when its hard. To exercise self-control. To love and lead their spouse and family well. In short, we need men to be heroes.

And thats what were going to look at in this book. How to be the hero your family needs. Like the Levis ad, there will likely be some things written in here that will be controversial. Some things might get you a little ticked off at me. Other things will cause you to suck in your breath and pauseand wonder what life might be like if you took the advice printed in these pages.

As men we need to step things up. Make changes if we expect to be the men, the husbands, and the dads God designed us to be. In every chapter Im going to encourage you to be the hero your family needs. Well talk about taking your role as a man to a higher level. Shifting into a higher gear. Well talk about fighting the enemies of our soul, our marriage, and our familyand winning.

Its time to strap on your cape and be a hero. You can do this. Well do it together.