Jim George - A Husband After Gods Own Heart

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NIV are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. NIV. Copyright1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Verses marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Italicized text in Scripture quotations indicates authors emphasis.

Cover by Aesthetic Soup, Shakoppe, Minnesota

A HUSBAND AFTER GODS OWN HEART

Copyright 2004, 2015 Jim George

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-3026-0 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-4259-1 (eBook)

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For Elizabeth,

my faithful life companion

and friend!

Contents

R ecently my publisher asked me to revisit this book, A Husband After Gods Own Heart , which I had written 12 years before. It was a good exercise in seeing whether my thinking had changed with regard to the books subtitlethat is, the 12 Things That Really Matter in Your Marriage . In review, I was glad to observe that the 12 core principles really do matter as much as ever.

But as I reflected on what I have learned since I wrote the book, I began to realize that many of the issues I faced as a husband could have been alleviated if I had better understood my heart and how it affected my actions, including everything I have done or will do in my marriage. With that in mind, I want to share some new thoughts at the beginning of this updated edition of the book.

Is It Heredity or Environment?

Most husbands have the perception that their marriage started on their wedding day. That was my thinking as well. I pictured myself as a clean slate, a blank canvas ready to be filled in with actions that would result in a picture-perfect marriage. Oh, I knew I had a few little issues in my personal life, but I didnt think they would cause any problems in my marriage. The truth, however, is that every past event or decision in your life shapes you in a way that affects every future event or decision. The person you are on your wedding day is the person you are bringing into your marriage.

You and I are affected by different things that influence and shape our lives. These influences arent to be used as an excuse for any negative behaviors or actions exhibited in us. All Im saying is that we are the products of not only our life experiences, but also how we interacted with those experiences. Everything that we areboth our good points and bad points, as well as our sin nature and how we respond to temptation and sinis a part of what we bring into a marriage.

Understanding Who You Are

What is your background? Did you have brothers or sisters? What kind of relationship did your parents have? Were they divorced? Did you grow up in a blended family? These are all things that shaped you into the man you were when you walked down the aisle and said, I do to your bride.

It has taken me a long time to realize that I am a product of my past, and that I brought lots of baggage into my marriage. I hope as I share about my background and how it impacted my marriage, youll be able to look at yourself and your relationship with your wife and better understand why married life isnt always as smooth as you would like it to be. You may have heard the saying, Marriage is the union of two selfish people.

Now, not all of the baggage you bring into your marriage is a matter of sin. But when you let your problems go unchecked and you dont yield them to God, and instead unleash them on your wife, they can become matters of sin that require repentance toward both God and your spouse. Thats why its important for you to examine your issues and behaviors and deal with them before they become sin or have a negative influence on others.

My Home Life

Being an only child has many benefits. I didnt have any competition for my parents attention. I was the focal point of the George household. My parents were middle-class people who didnt have much money, but I never lacked for food, clothing, and shelter. I was never truly deprived while growing up. At one point or another, I got most of what I needed, and much of what I wanted.

Another factor that influenced my life was the fact I had a stay-at-home mom who was always there when I left for school and when I returned home. In fact, during grade school and junior high, she would have lunch waiting for me on the kitchen table because both schools were a one-block walk from our house. Because my mom didnt work outside the home, she was available to do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry for me and my dad. We never lacked for clean clothes and hot meals. My mother was always ready to help us. This was my background as I stood before my bride Elizabeth during our wedding ceremony.

Whats more, I thought I was about to marry a woman just like my mothera woman who would cook my meals, iron my shirts, and take care of everything else I needed. For some reason I happened to expect that Elizabeth would do what my mother had done. I envisioned myself being the king of my castle, the captain of my ship, the master of the house.

My Dad as a Provider

My father had a lot going for him. He was a smart man with good business sense, and he had generated a good living for me and my mother as an independent auto parts salesman. He would leave home every Monday and during the week, he would visit a circuit of garages and gas stations and provide items needed to run these businesses. From an early age, my father gave me chores to do each week while he was gone. Then when he arrived home after doing a circuit, I would help him restock his truck. Later he would take me with him on his circuits, and I would observe how he interacted with his clients. So I learned how to work. And that likely explains why I later became a salesman too!

My dad also taught me the value of money and instilled a sense of thrift in me. Each week he would give me an allowance and say, If you save it all, Ill give you half of the money back to do whatever you want with it. This helped me to learn the value of money and develop the habit of saving it.

With these personal skills that my dad modeled and instilled in me, I thought I was ready to be a good provider for my new wife. In this aspect I was close to being right on. My dads work ethic and business sense has benefitted my family for decades. Unfortunately, he died before I realized how much I had gained from his input into my life. But for a husband to be a good provider is not enough.