Erin Smalley - 10 Things a Husband Needs from His Wife

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

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10 THINGS A HUSBAND NEEDS FROM HIS WIFE

Copyright 2017 Erin Smalley

Published by Harvest House Publishers

Eugene, Oregon 97402

www.harvesthousepublishers.com

ISBN 978-0-7369-7046-4 (pbk.)

ISBN 978-0-7369-7047-1 (eBook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Smalley, Erin, author.

Title: 10 things a husband needs from his wife / Erin Smalley.

Other titles: Ten things a husband needs from his wife

Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2017. | Includes bibliographical references. | Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017011316 (print) | LCCN 2017023192 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736970471 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736970464 (pbk.)

Subjects: LCSH: Christian womenReligious life. | WivesReligious life. | HusbandsPsychology. | Man-woman relationshipsReligious aspectsChristianity. | MarriageReligious aspectsChristianity.

Classification: LCC BV4528.15 (ebook) | LCC BV4528.15 .S63 2017 (print) | DDC 248.8/435 23dc32

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017011316

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To my three beautiful daughters:

Taylor, Murphy, and Annie

I love all three of you,

and Im so thankful to be your mom.

CONTENTS

W e wives have an enormous opportunity in our marriages. After almost 25 years of marriage, I have decided I want to embrace every opportunity I have with my husband, Greg. Ive learned I am the only person who can provide for my husband in ways no one else can (and Im not just talking about sex).

As women, we often assume our husbands get the same kind of affirmation, feedback, and validation from others as we get from our girlfriends. Research shows this just isnt the case. Their friendships and relationships are different. Typically, male relationships center on a shared activity, such as fishing, seeing a movie, or watching a sporting eventnot sitting together drinking coffee and affirming one another. The primary source of validation in their lives is us, their wives.

When you begin to meet this void in your husbands life, you will start to realize the level of influence you have in your marriage. Youll be amazed at the changes in your husbands satisfaction and even his disposition as you make the smallest changes. I have embraced the challenge of giving Greg what he longs to hear most from meaffirmation of all the amazing things I notice about him and his behavior. Greg longs to hear me say what he is doing right instead of what hes doing wrong. He needs to hear what I love about himinstead of what I dont.

Recently, in my Bible reading, I came across a familiar story. As I read it, something stuck out to me that Id never noticed before. In Matthew 27:19, Pilates wife is distraught about Jesus impending deathso upset she is even having dreams about Him. She sends word of her dreams to Pilate, begging her husband not to crucify Jesus. As a result, Pilate tries to find a loophole to escape being the one to condemn Jesus to crucifixion.

In numerous readings of this story, Pilates wife never stood out to me. Looking into her life, I learned she was called Procula or Claudia, and she is noted by scholars for her courage and bravery in approaching her husband during a crisis in his career. Theologians arent sure how much her message influenced Pilate; however, it may be the reason he washed his hands of Jesus crucifixion. The question remains, Was Pilates response due to his respect and admiration for his wife? We dont know for sure, but she was a brave woman who had a relationship with her husband that allowed him to receive her message.

If Pilates wife held sway with her husbands political decisions, what responsibilities and opportunities do I have as a wife? I want to build the kind of relationship where my husband turns to me as a trusted advisor when a huge decision lands on his plate. But what would it take to get him there? I imagine it would require me to be already pursuing him, providing words of affirmation and praise, and listening to him to know what is on his plate in the first place. Thats the kind of wife I long to be!

You may be thinkingbut what about me? I have needs too! I want my husband to give that to me! Well, of course you doyoure human and a woman! (I get itI am often the verbal one in the relationship too.) But you can gain a lot of blessings by focusing your energy on being a giver instead of a taker. When we give to our husbands, God will provide for our needs as well. You can never give more than God can give back to you. He is the ultimate giver of life, of gifts, and of every need we have.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.