This book is dedicated to our four lovely daughters who bring me such joy and friendship. My hope is that they will someday have the same kind of lasting, loving marriage that their dad and I are so blessed to enjoy.
100 Ways to Love Your Husband
So how did you know he was the one ? The one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Thats what the girls were asking me. How did you know Dad was the guy ?
I felt I should have had an answer ready on the tip of my tongue. A thoughtful insight of some kind. But mostly I just remember him walking into the dinner party with his confident stride, wearing a thick, manly sweater, black Levis, and Western boots. He was tall, dark, and handsome, with deep blue eyes.
But that doesnt really explain anything.
I mean, no one simply falls in love with a pair of boots... do they?
No, it was more than that. Way more than that. It was the way our eyes connected and how we got lost in conversation the moment we sat down together. The way we talked about traveling in France, my experiences in West Africa, and how we both loved Chopin and the same Billy Joel song. We could have talked forever... except that our hostess called us to dinner, abruptly reminding us that there were other people in the world. Or at least other people in the room. So I had to settle for staring at him from across the table.
Because by then I knew.
I was looking at the man I was going to marry. He was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life withtalking, laughing, and loving together. My happily ever after. My very own Mr. Right.
But I had yet to learn that meeting the right guy is one thingand loving him year after year is quite another. That marrying him would turn out to be both an amazing adventure and a significant challenge. A relationship like no other. I would discover that finding Mr. Right is not a one-way ticket to happiness but only the beginning of a lifelong journey of learning to love each other.
Maybe youre on your own journeyyoure newly married, have been together for decades, or still waiting to meet the one God has for you. If so, then Id like to share a few wonderful ways to love that man of yours.
All right, more than a few. More like one hundred ways.
1
Always choose love.
Above all things. And not the sentimental, feel-good kind of love, but the kind of love that puts the other person first. The kind that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. This is the powerful, persuasive love that leads to a rich and lasting marriage. (Take the time to open your Bible and slowly read 1 Corinthians 13. Here youll find the most profound description of love ever written.)
2
Greet him with a loving smile.
Who wouldnt enjoy coming home to a loving smile every night? Even if you are tired too or have something else on your mind, put that aside for just a while to make his day wonderful with your warm, loving smile. There are not many smiles in the world these days, so let yours be one of the few and the best in his life.
3
Let the little things go .
Dont hang on to small annoyances. So many marriages slowly deteriorate over the smallest, silliest things. He doesnt take out the trash? He snores at night? Hes terrible about leaving the laundry on the floor? Its not all that big of a deal. Just put it behind you and get on with loving him instead.
4
Work through the BIG things.
Take the time to talk through the big problems. Yes, it might mean some hard work and long hours, but it will be worth it. Dont let the things that really matter go. Its worth the effort to address them and deal with them. Otherwise, youre left with a shallow and/or hurting relationship. No way. Go deep.
5
Dont try to CHANGE him.
Hes a good man just as he is. He might have room to growbut then again, so do you. Leave that work to the Holy Spirit. He (the Spirit) is always so much more effective than well ever be. So dont make it your job to transform him; simply love him.
6
PRAY fo r him.
Make it your daily ministry to lift him up before your heavenly Father. He needs a praying wife. Ask God to protect him and to protect your marriage. Ask for blessing and for mercy. What better gift can a wife offer her husband than her faithful prayers for him?
7
Remember, hes not your girlfriend.
He wont always understand or relate, so dont have unreasonable expectations. Often we want him to get what it is we are feeling or struggling with. But he isnt me and never will be (thank goodness!). He is made differently with a different experience and different strengths and weaknesses. Dont demand that he be something he can never be.
8
But be SURE hes your bes t friend.
Invest in your friendship. Find activities you both enjoy and spend time together. Do the kinds of things friends do: talk, laugh, work, and play. Share your heart with him. Talk about your hopes and dreams, and ask about his too.
9
Decide in the beginning that youre going to stick together until the very end .