100 Ways to Love Your Wife
This is a book of ideasideas that, if followed, will lead you toward an excellent marriage.
An excellent marriage sounds good, doesnt it? It also sounds like an endangered species. Epic marriages are pretty rare these days.
But they dont have to benot for you and me.
The best, richest marriages are enjoyed by couples of every age group who know a simple yet all too often forgotten truth. Great marriages are the result of husbands and wives making a lot of everyday choices that say I love you rather than I love me.
If you want an epic marriage worthy of the best love poet, country-western singer, playwright, novelist, or the Song of Solomon, then learn how to say I love you through all the normal days of marriage you are given.
Thats the challenge, isnt it? All those days. They need to be filled with something, but most of us run out of ideas to keep marriage fresh. This book provides those ideas.
Not long into my marriage, I discovered that just because I was satisfied and happy didnt mean Lisa was. I needed to learn and understand what every smart husband knows: continually filling your wifes reservoir is an ongoing endeavor, but doing so pays amazing dividends.
A loved womana cherished wifeis a giver, returning to her husband far more than he ever poured into her soul.
But it doesnt happen all at once. If you take the simple steps outlined here and are consistent over time, you will enjoy a transformed marriagea marriage transformed by love.
Life is short. Love her well.
They shall be one flesh. (Gen. 2:24)
He who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph. 5:28 NKJV)
Introduction
Ill never forget those eyes dancing above the rim of her glass the moment I walked into the roomthe first dance of many... wild and wonderful.
As I lay across the bed from my beautiful, lovely bride during our Hawaiian honeymoon (a typically generous gift from my brother and sister-in-law), those dancing eyes held my gaze, their radiance intensifying a vague sense of loss.
Time. Suddenly all those years without her seemed lost.
As I drank in the moments wonder, my fingers fell high on her cheek, lightly tracing to her lips the soft outline of her face.
Why didnt I meet you ten years ago? Where were you? Look how much time weve missed being together.
But life is like that, isnt it? One day we wake up in an oasis, wondering why we wandered around in the desert for so long.
I purposed right then and there, twenty-one years ago, lying on the bed in our room on the fifth floor of the Lahaina Shores Hotel on Maui that I would cherish this woman, my bride, this breathtaking gift from God, every day of my life.
How great it would be to report that I have loved Lisa perfectly. I cannot. Ive caused her tears, been unloving, insensitive, and downright sinful at times. But I can report to you that Lisa has been and is a cherished woman. Ill be transparent... she makes it easy for me.
I reach out from the inside to let her know how much she matters to me. She knows that its serious business with me. Lisa is my priority because Jesus Christ made her my priorityand He expects to be obeyed. He wants me to love her as He loves His Bride.
Jesus is the example for every Christian man to know how to truly cherish his wife.
Wait a minute, Jesus isnt married!
But He is (or soon will be). His Bride is the Church.
And Christian men are instructed to love their wives as Jesus loves His (see Eph. 5:25).
You see, if you claim to be a Christian man, being the husband of a cherished woman just isnt optional. It is the call of God on your lifeto preach the gospel with the power of your love for your wifean expression to the world of how Jesus Christ loves His Bride, the Church. If I dont cherish Lisa, Im walking in sin and I must change. The same is true of every married Christian manhe is sinning if he is not cherishing his wife.
Scripture says that when you love your wife, you are actually loving yourself. Because according to God, the two of you are one single entity. And a truly cherished wife takes great pleasure in returning that love with interest.
What do you have to lose?
1
She gave her heart to you. VALUE IT for the sacred treasure it is.
Every wife has a deep desire to be cherishedto be of supreme importance and value to her husband. If your wifes friends were asked the question about youDoes he cherish his wife?how would they respond? Is the answer obvious to them? What would your wife say? Does she feel cherished? To truly value her is to leave no doubt in anyones mind, especially hers. Remind yourself often that youve been entrusted with something beautiful, something sacred. Then communicate to her that you know it and that it matters to you.
2
R E A C H for her often .
Has it been more than one day since she felt your arms around her? As husbands, we get our needs met and then allow too much time to pass before we show affection through physical touch... meeting her needs. She loves to feel your arms around her, often. Do you have the kind of job that takes you away for extended periods of time? If so, then regular physical touch when you are present is even more crucial.
3
After a busy week, run a hot bath... just for her.
Occasionally, slip unnoticed into your bathroom in the evening, run a hot bath with bath salts, light candles, turn on soothing music (whatever you know she will especially enjoy), and then tell her something is waiting for her in the master bath. Leave and lock the door behind you, making sure nothing will distract her for an hour as she spends the whole time thinking about how fantastic you are!
4
Ask about her thoughts and dreams.
Initiating a conversation that has your woman as its focus tells her heart that she matters to you, that you see her as an important person with her own ideas and dreams. In this way, shes no different from you. You want to be affirmed by being sought out as a person. So does she.