Matt Jacobson - 100 Ways to Love Your Son: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship
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- Book:100 Ways to Love Your Son: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship
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100 Ways to Love Your Wife
100 Ways to Love Your Husband
100 Words of Affirmation Your Wife Needs to Hear
100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hear
100 Ways to Love Your Daughter
2020 by Faithful Families Ministries, LLC
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2322-4
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2016
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
How can you find and continue to cultivate a close, loving relationship with your son? Whatever his age, how can you reach and hold on to your sons heart through the years? Perhaps hes young and you already have his heart, but how will you keep it as he grows older? You desire the best for him, but how do you translate that love into a relationship that will endure?
This book is a resource for what to do, what to say, and how to treat sons of all ages. For you to maintain a continuous, growing relationship with your son, he needs to know and experience your loveand that is the reason for this book. Just read one entry per day, reflect on it, and then apply it to your relationship with your son.
Sometimes we need to change what we think. Sometimes we need to change what we say (and how we say it!). And sometimes we need to change what we do. For some parents, its a minor adjustment. For others, it will be a dramatic reform. But for all parents, its the journey of loving your son better each day as you are learning to love him wellthis kind of intentional love becomes the foundation for a meaningful, trusting relationship that will stand the test of time as he becomes a man.
We have eight awesome children, including four boys ages thirteen to twenty-five. Weve walked this parenting journey and are still making it with you. We havent always done it right and hope you find us to be transparent about our mistakes, but we have close, loving relationships with our sons. Wherever you are on this journey, learning to love your son well is the path to all thats best in your relationship with him today and in the future.
Matt & Lisa Jacobson
Make him believe you like to be with him .
My father thought I was an awesome young man. He told everybody this. There was only one problem: he never told me. All the way into my late twenties, I believed my dad didnt really like being with me.
Today we have an excellent relationship (and have had one for many decades), and weve talked all this through. But what a powerful impact it had on me as a young man to believe my dad didnt really like hanging out with me, didnt really enjoy my company.
Many parents think their kids are downright amazing and spend plenty of time talking them up to other people. But for your son to know and then to believe its true, youre going to have to do more than tell your friends how wonderful you think he is.
The power in a young boys or mans thinking is what he believes, not what is true. Loving your son requires that you demonstrate, in ways meaningful to him, that you genuinely enjoy being with him.
You could start by verbalizing this truth to your son at a young age. Or even if youre coming at this when your son is a bit older, even if hes a young adult, you can start by saying, Son, I sure like being with you. Just say those words. So many sons have never heard such affirming words out of their fathers mouth. Let your son hear you say them loud and clear.
Another simple, practical way is to invite him to come along with you on one of the many simple outings you might take in the normal course of living. A trip to the feed store or grocery store or pharmacy, or a trip to pick up something in town or to run errands. An invitation is a positive way of saying, I take joy in being with you. Its a simple thing, but like a lot of simple things in this life, it comes with great power to speak to your sons heart.
Stop what youre doing to give him a hug .
I recently asked our fourteen-year-old son what says love to him and figured it would take him a few minutes to come up with an answer. But I was wrong; his response was immediate. I feel loved when you stop what youre doing, like when youre in the middle of making dinner, and turn around to give me a hug.
So simple. So easy. And yet I didnt always do this. When I was a younger mom, I considered preparing dinner the top priority, and the children could wait. But not anymore. Wouldnt you rather have a slightly burned or delayed meal than miss out on a precious hug from this kid you love to pieces? Same here.
What I didnt realize, however, was that my son would so readily identify that stop-n-hug as what said love to him. It was surprising to hear such a sweet thing coming from this young man who is taller and broader than me now.
Those hugs really do matter. So stop if youre in the middle of something, whether its making dinner or working or scrolling your newsfeed, and give your son a squeeze. No words are necessarysimply offer a loving hug.
Go on a big adventure .
If your son is young, a big adventure might be pitching a tent in the backyard and camping there for the night. If hes a little older, theres nothing like camping in the bush ... Canadian for woods!
I grew up in Tete Jaune Cash, British Columbia, and Dease Lake, near the Yukon border. Mica Mountain (8,711 feet) was outside our front door and loomed over our house like a great giant. Ill never forget my dad taking me up Mica Mountain when I was twelve, far above the timberline, where we spent the night wrapped in our sleeping bags, watching the northern lights sweep back and forth across the endless night sky. We also found fossils of water snails and fish bones!
Another idea is to rent a boat and go exploring. Weve rented little crabbing skiffs and caught crabs, boiled them, and had a crab feed. When we lived in Tennessee, we went to Naples, Florida, rented a boat for the day, and went diving for shells. With a little creativity, no matter where you live, there are many possibilities.
Can you think of an exciting adventure your son might enjoy?
Speak a word of blessing over him.
My son had his head down in his studies, so he didnt see me coming. But I made it a point to walk by him and quietly placed my hand on his head, staying silent so as not to interrupt him. But it turned out that way all the same.
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