Matt Jacobson - 100 Ways to Love Your Daughter: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship
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- Book:100 Ways to Love Your Daughter: The Simple, Powerful Path to a Close and Lasting Relationship
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100 Ways to Love Your Husband
100 Ways to Love Your Wife
100 Words of Affirmation Your Husband Needs to Hear
100 Words of Affirmation Your Wife Needs to Hear
100 Ways to Love Your Son
2020 by Faithful Families Ministries, LLC
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2020
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-2324-8
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
How can you cultivate and keep a close, loving relationship with your daughter? Whatever her age, how can you reach and hold on to her heart through the years? Perhaps shes young and you already have her heart, but how will you keep it as she grows older? You desire the best for her, but how do you translate that love into a relationship that will endure?
This book is a resource for what to do, what to say, and how to treat daughters of all ages. For you to maintain a continuous, growing relationship with her, she needs to know and experience your loveand that is the reason for this book. Just read one entry per day, consider it, and then apply it to your relationship with her.
Sometimes we need to change what we think. Sometimes we need to change what we say (and how we say it!). And sometimes we need to change what we do. For some parents, its a minor adjustment. For others, it will be a dramatic reform. But for all parents, its the journey of loving your daughter better each day as you are learning to love her wellthe foundation of a meaningful, trusting relationship that will stand the test of time as she becomes a woman.
We are the parents of eight awesome children, including four girls ages nineteen to twenty-four. Weve walked this journey and are still making it with you. We havent always done it right and hope you find us to be transparent about our mistakes, but we are grateful to enjoy close, loving relationships with our girls. Wherever you are on this journey, learning to love your daughter well is the path to all thats best in your relationship with her today and in the future.
Matt & Lisa Jacobson
Ask her real questions .
Close. Thats how our friend describes our relationship with our daughters. And its true, we are close. We laugh and hug and talk about most everything. So how did we get there? How did we grow so close?
This kind of closeness comes from seekingfrom seeking their hearts and pursuing a relationship. It comes from being interested in their thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams.
And it comes from asking questions.
We ask our daughters questions most every day. We wonder how theyre doing, what theyre thinking about, and how theyre feeling.
Our girls need us to ask them about these things. They wont necessarily volunteer whats on their hearts and minds. They need us to ask, and they need us to care about their answers.
Your daughter needs you to ask her too.
Get up early and watch the sunrise together .
Another week begins. Its time to get to work, the gym, that event. The demands wont lighten up and neither will the speed of your daughters growth and maturity. Time will race by, and shell be out the door and off to the next phase of her life with lightning speed. There will never be a convenient time to slow down and just be with your daughter. Theres just too much to do.
And yet, somehow, busy, wise parents find the time.
How? If were honest, every one of us has time for those things that are truly important to us. In fact, thats what weve already done, whether were the parent who pauses to enjoy Gods handiwork with our daughter or the parent who never takes the time. Both types of parents have prioritized what is important. Which one are you?
Love your daughter by elevating her over the demands of your scheduleby anticipating the natural beauty of a sunrise or sunset or some other scene that says, Lets take a few minutes to share Gods creation together.
A close relationship with your daughter is built by finding and sharing those moments together.
Give her a warm hug.
She walked into the room, and since Im her mom, I could tell she was worked up before she even reached me. It probably had nothing to do with me, but I sensed that I would suffer the brunt of it all the same. Before she really got going, however, I had the sudden inspiration to reach out and give her a hugnot a quick obligatory hug either, but a slow, deliberate, no-agenda embrace.
I think we were both somewhat surprised at that moment. But the impact on her spiritand on our relationshipwas undeniable. Whatever it was that had been eating at her seemed to slip away.
Sometimes your girl doesnt need words or instruction or correction as much as she simply needs your caring hug. So reach out and hug her tight today.
Write her a letter.
When was the last time you received a handwritten letter, or even a typed one? How did it make you feel? Letters are increasingly uncommon, and chances are its been a long time (never?) since youve written one. In this case, thats good news. When you write a letter, it will stand out and have a powerful impact. It will be something your daughter can cherish for life.
Writing can be intimidating, but your letter doesnt have to earn international literary acclaim. Honest thoughts are all that are necessary for a meaningful letter from your heart to hers.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Tell her how proud of her you are.
- Tell her what you love about her personality.
- Tell her of your lifelong commitment to her.
- Tell her of your confidence in her and in her future.
Maybe purchase some special paper and an envelope, which will add to this heartfelt gift.
And another tipwrite your rough draft on basic lined paper or type it out first. You might have a few changes to make before your final version is ready. Then write the final draft on your intended stationery.
If you have to send your letter, do so. If your daughter still lives at home, leave your letter someplace she will be sure to find it.
Be r eady to happily serve her.
You might consider our daughters spoiled once we share this.
Every morning since they were old enough to drink coffee (which in our house is embarrassingly young), their dad would make a pot of French-press coffee and serve them a cup the way each one liked it. A little splash of cream, the right amount of sugar, and in their own special cup. He never missed this daily ritual as long as he was home.
It might seem like he was spoiling them, but he always took such pleasure in serving them their coffee this way each morning. Handing them a sweet cup of coffee to start out their day was his way of saying, I love you without saying a single word.
Maybe your daughter doesnt drink coffee, but you have many other creative options and opportunities to serve her with a smile. Pick one of those ways and start serving her today.
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