Julianna Slattery - Finding the Hero in Your Husband: Surrendering the Way God Intended

What People Are Saying About
Finding the Hero in Your Husband...

This excellent book in plain English takes marriage very joyfully and the Bible very seriously. It is filled with practical advice about lifes difficult passages, but it is also filled with hope. I think Paul would have recommended it.

Knute Larson
senior pastor, The Chapel

Can a woman use her influence and support to empower her husband rather than tear him down? Julianna Slattery offers rock-solid biblical counsel and practical advicea godsend for disappointed wives who are wondering if they married the right man and a tremendous tool for wives who want to make a good marriage even better.

Harleen Dizer, president, Womens Council,
Presbytery of New York and New England, OPC

One might wonder with all the books written on marriage, do we really need one more? This book uniquely inspires women to use their power and influence in marriage to achieve a higher level of intimacy and godliness. It is a must-read for any woman who desires a deeper and more meaningful marriage relationship.

Susie Sartarelli, womens ministry director,
Riverwood Community Chapel

F INDING
THE HERO
IN YOUR
HUSBAND

Surrendering the

Way God Intended

Julianna Slattery, Psy.D.

Faith Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida

www.hcibooks.com

Scripture quotation identified NIV is taken from The Holy Bible New International Version, New York International Bible Society, 1978. Usedby permission.

Scripture quotation identified NASV is taken from The Holy Bible New American Standard Version, The Lockman Foundation, La Habra,California, 1977. Used by permission.

Living By Vows. Reprinted by permission of Robertson McQuilkin.Originally appeared in Christianity Todays Marriage Partnership, Fall1996.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Slattery, Julianna

Finding the hero in your husband : surrendering the way God intended / Julianna Slattery.

p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-0234-3 (pbk.)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-0234-3 (pbk.)

ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9964-0 (e-book)

ISBN-10: 0-7573-9964-9 (e-book)

1. WivesReligious life. 2. Christian womenReligious life. I. Title

BV4528. 15 .S53 2001

248.8'435dc21

2001024689

2001 Julianna Slattery

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

3201 S.W. 15th Street

Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190

R-01-09

Cover design by Lawna Patterson Oldfield
Book inside design by Dawn Von Strolley Grove
Cover illustrationWood River Gallery

To Michael

Contents

H ad it not been for Lisa Baxter and Taylor, this book may have never been in print. Thank you for the way God has used you to encourage and direct me in this project. Thank you to the Health Communications family. Specifically, I am grateful to Christine Belleris, Allison Janse and Kathleen Fox for your expertise in editing, as well as your patience with me!

Thank you Debbie Prinz, John Rasnic and Julie Anderson for giving of your special talents to make this book possible. So many family and friends read and re-read the manuscripts. Thank you for your encouragement and input: Warren and Cheryl Kniskern, Amy McDougald, Wendy Rybka, Steve and Pam Rybka, Emily Zimmerman, Sue Burnham, Christie Orosz, Anne Volk, Janice Zekoski, and Sara Steigerwald.

Over the past several years, the Lord has given me several mentors who have been critical to encouraging and guiding my vision. Specifically, thank you Dr. Stephan Tchividjian, Dr. Phillip Farber, Dr. Wanda Bethea, and Dr. Michael Misja for the contributions you have made to my thinking and personal development.

The Lord has also blessed me with wonderful parents, Larry and Jo Rybka. Dad, thank you for teaching me about godliness through your love, your integrity and your faithfulness. Thank you for always investing in me, and mostly, for your prayers. You have given me the confidence to develop my dreams and abilities and to trust God with them. Mom, this book is about you. Each day that I lived in your home, I witnessed your daily devotion to finding the hero in Dad. You taught me that intimacy with God would free me to contribute to the leadership of my husband. I cannot thank you enough for what you have taught me about God, about marriage and about life.

Saving the best for last, special thanks to my husband, Michael. It is only through your love and encouragement that I could undertake this adventure. Although you have not physically written these words, you are the co-author. You have contributed so greatly to who I am and all that I do that this is your project as much as mine. I am so honored to be your wife and I look forward to the rest of our journey together. You ready, Lewis?

A s one who has written on the subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage, there is one extremely powerful and challenging scripture which cuts to my heart as a husband and father: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... (Ephesians 5:25) What an awesome responsibility! How could any man possibly fulfill this vital roleeven with Gods ever-present power in his life?

Wives yearn to be loved and cherished in ways that seem beyond most husbands grasp. Many women are looking for Prince Charming to protect them and to slay the dragons in their lives. What woman wouldnt want an intelligent and sensitive husband who is confident in his life and work, and yet tender and loving at all the right times and places? As a husband, such expectations can be intimidating. How can any man meet them?

When men look around for encouragement from other men we see many of our peers struggling and failing in their marriages. Is it even possible to be the husband whom God and our wives expect us to be?

God is no stranger to this inner anxiety, which becomes overwhelming at times. Through scripture, the Lord tells us: Good news! You will not have to bear this yoke alone. I am with you always. And I have made a helper suitable for you! Gods design is for a wife to help and encourage her husband to be the best he can be for the Lord and for her. As he struggles toward maturity, each step of the way giving her the best he can offer, his wife is meant to walk with him, urging him on to still higher planes. Gods intended result? Husbands give even more to their wives. This cycle of giving and receiving between husbands and wives is part of Gods plan for marriagea consistently uplifting experience!

Are you a giver? Are you first seeking the best from your mate before becoming a helper? Are your encouragement, and the positive contribution only you can give to your marriage, contingent upon first receiving something from your spouse? If so, take a few steps back and consider the wise, yet warmly practical advice which Dr. Julianna Slattery provides in this long overdue love letter to wives who do not know how to help their husbands reach their potential.