Pelzer - Moving forward: taking the lead in your life

Copyright 2008 by Dave Pelzer

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Center Street

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroup.com.

First eBook Edition: June 2008

ISBN: 978-1-599-95139-3

A Child Called It

The Lost Boy

A Man Named Dave

Help Yourself

The Privilege of Youth

Help Yourself for Teens

To a young man who has become an inspiration to me since before he was born, my son (soon to be a college graduate, thank God), Mr. Stephen Pelzer. Live long, live strong, and always enjoy lifes ride, for you are now... well on your way!!!!

To you, the reader. With every word of every page, I pray with all my heart for you to achieve your dreams and most of all eternal happiness. I thank you for allowing me to be a brief part of your life. For me, its always an honor to be with you and always a privilege to serve.

A ll in all, this endeavor was beyond excruciating. Between rescue operations for Katrina, entertaining the courageous troops in the heart of darkness in the Middle East, and trying to earn a degree in criminal justice while yet still maintaining a rigorous road schedule, this tome pushed the limits. That said, had it not been for the following individuals Moving Forward would have never seen the light of day.

I am indebted to the following fine, dedicated folks who, without reservation, believe in the mission of helping others to help themselves:

To my longtime agent and dear friend, Laurie Liss, words alone can never express my gratitude. Thank you for being there for me, fighting on my behalf, listening to me whenever I was in a dark place, and most of all, for always protecting me.

To Kathryn Larkin-Estey, AKA Mrs. C, the current executive director for the offices of D-Esprit, your calm presence, gentle guidance, and positive energy make every day with you, no matter the crazies, the chaos, and at times, the life-and-death-like drama, an absolute blast. Your sense of humor makes my sides hurt! You so rock!!!

To our former executive director, the lovely Mrs. Gabrielle Norwood, for stepping up and guiding the helm during trying times and through troubled waters. You are sorely missed.

A special thank-you to Marsha of First Class Publishing Projects for her still-meticulous commitment to excellence in editing.

A heartfelt benediction to the fine folks at Center Street and Hachette Book Group USA, most especially Christina Boys, the soft-spoken editor who gave me a wide berth when needed and yet a push to better the book when needed. It was a pleasure.

Your Beliefs

I believe the lives we live are the lives we make. Call it self-destiny, Gods will, karma, good luck, bad luck, whatever. But when you finally sit down at the end of the day and look at yourself in the mirrorafter youve scrubbed away all the grime and makeup and truly see yourself and where youre at in this stage of your life, without any pretense or the trappings of your outer faadethe reality of life hits you right between the eyes.

I believe that no matter how many mistakes weve made; how badly weve really, really screwed up; how old, worn out, or dejected weve become; as long as there is true, steadfast ambition, all of us have an opportunity for greatness. We all can summon the courage to deal with issues, no matter how overwhelming, painful, or degrading, that may have plagued or even paralyzed us in the pastonce and for all. With determination we can stretch beyond the everyday barriers to better ourselves. Learning from our prior experiences, we can, and should, aspire to fulfill our dreams, making life better not only for ourselves but for others around us during the course of our lifes journey.

I believe it isnt a requirement to have experienced a perfect childhood (if there is such a thing) to lead a satisfying and productive life. You dont have to be raised in a majestic, cherry-blossom-filled neighborhood; attend an Ivy League university and belong to Kappa-Delta-Smell-Pa sorority; obsess over having a rock-solid not-a-gram-of-fat body, thick shiny hair, surgically enhanced body parts, and blinding pearl-white teeth; or reside in a mansion behind iron gates, with a second estate on the southern coast, to obtain and preserve that certain nirvana.

(Tell me, what kind of delusional fantasy is that?)

I believe that you do not have to have a multi-gazillion-dollar starched-white-collar career, become caught up in the social lifestyles of the rich and ridiculous, or have all the fame in the world so everyone knows you just so you can feel acknowledged, wanted, appreciated, and, above all, loved.

I am of the belief that though they might be great jobs, you do not have to be a mayor of a major metropolis or CEO of a Fortune 500 company in order to take a stand for your convictions; to lead, rally, or educate others for your cause; or to maintain a vision that will pave the way for other generations to come. The everyday hardworking folks, God bless em, have always and will continue, day in and day out, truly to make an impact on their families, communities, jobs, America, and the world as a whole.

I believe with extreme conviction that America and other democracies like Her are places where anyone is able not only to flourishno matter which side of the tracks we came from, our past struggles, our heritage or current social rankingbut also to rise above it all and accomplish damn near anything for ourselves and, more importantly, for our childrens children. Our nation is where people of free will who find determination either through adversity or providence can move mountains and make Goliath-like barriers crumble before them. A place where fulfilling either the smallest or the grandest of aspirations is so much more than a mere fantasy, that it is a constant opportunity that becomes a way of life.

Anyway, these are just a few of my beliefs.

As you can probably tell, I am fairly passionate about my values, how I conduct myself, and how I treat others, but mostly about being optimistic about life in general. I hold myself to a standard. Not for pretence in any form, but for the sole purpose of knowing my capabilities. If I appear to be arrogant or all-knowing, I am neither of those things and I do not look kindly on those who go out of their way to behave in that manner.

I pride myself in being hardworking, caring, humble, appreciative, and helpful to others. I am, by my own estimation, the luckiest person in the world, for I know exactly where I came from. I have made many mistakes, screwed up really badly, and at times have made the worst of choices. Ive allowed myself to be compromised, knowing full well I was stupidly, needlessly, exposing myself. I have given away my trust with the best of intentions, whether in business or in my personal life, only to have my gestures seen as absolute signs of weakness. Ive chased after things hoping to prove myself to those whom I knew looked down on me and probably always would, which only intensified my futile efforts all the more.

I know how it feels when no matter what you do, no matter how much you work and sacrifice, day in and day out, you begin to believe youre never going to get ahead, that all your time and effort have been in vain. I know that at times responsibility, all that weight you balance on your shoulders, becomes too much to bear, and all you want to do is run away from the world and simply disappear.