Whitfield Charles L. - Healing the child within: discovery and recovery for adult children of dysfunctional families

I am honored to write this foreword for the updated edition of the classic, Healing the Child Within.

A pioneer in trauma recovery, since 1995 Dr. Charles Whitfield has been voted by his peers as one of the best doctors in America. His wisdom and words have touched the hearts and minds of millions of readers and imparted a precious commodityhope. Throughout his career Dr. Whitfield has generously shared his lifetime of research and clinical experience with other professionals and recovering people. Over seventy-five authors have quoted or cited this book a remarkable number and a measure of the books importance in our arsenal of skills.

In the twenty years since Dr. Whitfield first published Healing the Child Within, weve made great progress in understanding the effect of trauma on the human psyche. This book has made a significant contribution to that understanding and has become a best seller as a result. Dr. Whitfield describes the Child Within as the part of us that is ultimately alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled. (pg. 1). When this part of us is not nurtured a false self emerges. To understand and move beyond being trapped in this false self, Dr. Whitfield draws from three key areas: the impact of child abuse and neglect, the integration from telling our story as a key part of recovery from the many detrimental effects of child abuse and neglect, and how the spiritually-based Twelve Step recovery movement has helped in healing.

What is life like without the skills to form and maintain close and safe relationships? Without the ability to care, to feel remorse, empathy and love? Forming healthy emotional relationships is related to specific parts of the brain that develop during the first years of life. Significant interruption of healthy development by repeated trauma often leaves a child in an out-of-control fight, . That distressed and impaired development as a child can also lead to difficulty in feeling arousal or pleasure as an adult. In this book, Dr. Whitfield recognizes how common child abuse is in troubled families and describes the many guises of trauma. Recent studies have shown, for example, how neglect and emotional abuse are equally as devastating to the developing child as physical or sexual abuse.

Dr. Whitfield explains, While severe physical abuse and overt sexual behavior are clearly recognizable as traumatic to infants and children, other forms of child abuse may be more difficult to recognize as being abusive. These may include mild to moderate physical abuse, covert or less obvious sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse, child neglect, and ignoring or thwarting the childs spirituality or spiritual growth. (pg. 37).

As early as the first year of life, a childs ability to express emotion and exhibit levels of control over feelings and behaviors are formed. It is during that critical time in our development that we learn how to relate to ourselves and others.

Our story can tell us a lot about ourself. Why is telling our story so important? While the answer is complex, researchers and clinicians are finding pieces to the puzzle. As Dr. Whitfield so eloquently explains, We begin to see the connections between what we are doing and what happened to us when we were little. As we share our story, we begin to break free of being a victim or a martyr, of the repetition compulsion. (pg. 110).

Research has shown that it is not so much what really happened to us during childhood that matters the most, but how we do or dont make sense of it. In other words, a coherent personal story suggests emotional and intellectual integration. As Dr. Whitfield says, Telling our story is a powerful act in discovering and healing our Child Within. (pg. 96). That simple act causes our brain to perform several tasks at once, including the merging of feelings, behavior, conscious awareness and sensation. During this process, we realize and reframe life events, behaviors and emotions into a more insightful and healthier whole.

This integration takes place most effectively in safe places, such as group or individual psychotherapy, self-help group meetings, journaling, or having a heartfelt talk with a best friend. One of the most consistent findings from the last fifty years of research is that the safe and skilled quality of a therapeutic relationship is the best predictor of treatment success. Within that setting, the clinician can help a person find meaning in their life story in a safe place where they can take risks, drop some unhealthy defenses against pain, and hear a supportive whisper in their head as they gain new insight about themselves and their world. Some call this an epiphany or an ah ha experience. They are now more in touch with themselvesmore connected, less defended, and better integratedall of which is personal growth.