Whitfield - Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (Recovery Classics Edition)
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- Book:Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (Recovery Classics Edition)
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My favorite on the subject of inner growthits just about the best book Ive ever readis called Healing the Child Within by Charles Whitfield. It gave so much insight into the problems I saw in my self. It also comes with a workbook, which made it easy for me to grasp, and helped by suggesting ways to change those problems. Its mostly about people who didnt have happy childhoods and what people do to compensate for that unhappiness.
Cher, in Cher: Forever Fit
by Robert Haas, p 167, Bantam 1991
Healing the Child Within and its companion book, A Gift to Myself, provide two of the most comprehensive and detailed descriptions of the recovery process ever formulated in laymans terms. Judging from the ever-increasing amount of people who are openly identifying with the desire to embrace and nurture this inner child, the need for such a healing has reached epidemic proportions in our culture.
Erin OShaughnessy MA, LMFCC
Licensed marriage, family, and child therapist,
Santa Cruz, California
http://cbwhit.com/healing-review.htm
Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com
Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Box 420487
Atlanta, GA 30342
www.cbwhit.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Whitfield, Charles L.
Healing the child within.
Bibliography: p.
I. Co-dependence (Psychology)Treatment. 2. Self. 3. AlcoholicsFamily relationships. 4. Children of alcoholic parentsMental health. 5. Adult child abuse victimsMental health. I. Title.
RC569.5.C63W47 1987 616.89 87-137
Reprinted 1989, 2006
1987 Charles L. Whitfield
ISBN-13: 978-0-9321-9440-4 (paperback)
ISBN-10: 0-9321-9440-0 (paperback)
ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9757-8 (e-book)
ISBN-10: 0-7573-9757-3 (e-book)
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher.
HCI, its logos and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.
Published by Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442
Cover Design and Illustration by Reta Thomas
Inside book design and text formatting by Dawn Von Strolley Grove
TABLES
FIGURES
I am honored to write this foreword for the updated edition of the classic, Healing the Child Within.
A pioneer in trauma recovery, since 1995 Dr. Charles Whitfield has been voted by his peers as one of the best doctors in America. His wisdom and words have touched the hearts and minds of millions of readers and imparted a precious commodityhope. Throughout his career Dr. Whitfield has generously shared his lifetime of research and clinical experience with other professionals and recovering people. Over seventy-five authors have quoted or cited this book a remarkable number and a measure of the books importance in our arsenal of skills.
In the twenty years since Dr. Whitfield first published Healing the Child Within, weve made great progress in understanding the effect of trauma on the human psyche. This book has made a significant contribution to that understanding and has become a best seller as a result. Dr. Whitfield describes the Child Within as the part of us that is ultimately alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled. (pg. 1). When this part of us is not nurtured a false self emerges. To understand and move beyond being trapped in this false self, Dr. Whitfield draws from three key areas: the impact of child abuse and neglect, the integration from telling our story as a key part of recovery from the many detrimental effects of child abuse and neglect, and how the spiritually-based Twelve Step recovery movement has helped in healing.
What is life like without the skills to form and maintain close and safe relationships? Without the ability to care, to feel remorse, empathy and love? Forming healthy emotional relationships is related to specific parts of the brain that develop during the first years of life. Significant interruption of healthy development by repeated trauma often leaves a child in an out-of-control fight, . That distressed and impaired development as a child can also lead to difficulty in feeling arousal or pleasure as an adult. In this book, Dr. Whitfield recognizes how common child abuse is in troubled families and describes the many guises of trauma. Recent studies have shown, for example, how neglect and emotional abuse are equally as devastating to the developing child as physical or sexual abuse.
Dr. Whitfield explains, While severe physical abuse and overt sexual behavior are clearly recognizable as traumatic to infants and children, other forms of child abuse may be more difficult to recognize as being abusive. These may include mild to moderate physical abuse, covert or less obvious sexual abuse, mental and emotional abuse, child neglect, and ignoring or thwarting the childs spirituality or spiritual growth. (pg. 37).
As early as the first year of life, a childs ability to express emotion and exhibit levels of control over feelings and behaviors are formed. It is during that critical time in our development that we learn how to relate to ourselves and others.
Our story can tell us a lot about ourself. Why is telling our story so important? While the answer is complex, researchers and clinicians are finding pieces to the puzzle. As Dr. Whitfield so eloquently explains, We begin to see the connections between what we are doing and what happened to us when we were little. As we share our story, we begin to break free of being a victim or a martyr, of the repetition compulsion. (pg. 110).
Research has shown that it is not so much what really happened to us during childhood that matters the most, but how we do or dont make sense of it. In other words, a coherent personal story suggests emotional and intellectual integration. As Dr. Whitfield says, Telling our story is a powerful act in discovering and healing our Child Within. (pg. 96). That simple act causes our brain to perform several tasks at once, including the merging of feelings, behavior, conscious awareness and sensation. During this process, we realize and reframe life events, behaviors and emotions into a more insightful and healthier whole.
This integration takes place most effectively in safe places, such as group or individual psychotherapy, self-help group meetings, journaling, or having a heartfelt talk with a best friend. One of the most consistent findings from the last fifty years of research is that the safe and skilled quality of a therapeutic relationship is the best predictor of treatment success. Within that setting, the clinician can help a person find meaning in their life story in a safe place where they can take risks, drop some unhealthy defenses against pain, and hear a supportive whisper in their head as they gain new insight about themselves and their world. Some call this an epiphany or an ah ha experience. They are now more in touch with themselvesmore connected, less defended, and better integratedall of which is personal growth.
Buddhists describe the self as an endlessly peeling onion. Every layer is a new chapter to explore and integrate. Dr. Whitfield explains, As we transform we begin to integrate and to apply transformation to our daily life. To integrate means to make whole from separate parts. (pg. 119). It is important to understand how
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