Reynolds Eliza - Mothering & daughtering: keeping your bond strong through the teen years

Mothering & Daughtering has been deeply meaningful to us. Sil and Eliza have given us practical tools and wisdom which transformed our relationship and deepened our bond during the challenging teenage years. This beautifully written book is fresh with creative ideas and is a gift to all mothers and their teenage daughters.

EILEEN FISHER, designer and SASHA FISHER ZWIEBEL

If these challenges between mother and daughter are a generational thing, Sil has surely broken the pattern with her own daughter.

JANE FONDA

Actor and author of My Life So Far

This is the best guide I know for navigating the challenges and beauty of the mother-daughter relationship. Sil and Elizas work is profound, essential, and revolutionary.

GENEEN ROTH

#1 New York Times bestselling author of Women Food and God

Mothering & Daughtering is a gem, a precious insight into the growth of mothers and daughters, and into the honesty and cherishing of each other.

MARION WOODMAN

Jungian analyst and author of Addiction to Perfection

Mother-daughter conflict during the teen years is neither inevitable nor healthy. Theres another way. Read this book and learn how to keep your mother-daughter bond strong and healthy for a lifetime.

CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, MD

Author of the New York Times bestsellers Womens Bodies,

Womens Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

What you hold in your hands is more than a bookits a lifeline to mothers and daughters who want to move through the teen years with a real, loving, and lasting relationships. Both Sil and Eliza believe that as girls grow away from childhood and toward adulthood, they actually want and need to stay close to their mothers; and that mothers also want and need closeness, even as they help their girls find their own voices and spread their wings. In this guidebook for a new kind of mother-daughter relationship, Sil and Eliza challenge the stereotype of the broken bond between mother and daughter. They provide inspiration and tools honed from their own experience, and from the hundreds of moms and girls they have helped in their workshops. If you are a mother or a daughter who wants to navigate the teen years side-by-side, please read this book.

ELIZABETH LESSER

Cofounder, Omega Institute and author of Broken Open:

How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

Finally someone talks about the complex and amazing mother-daughter relationship in an authentic way. Our mothers are our superheroes, our nemeses, our role models, and our cautionary tales. Its so nice to read someone who gets that and writes about it with great respect for the paradox. In this powerful book, Eliza and Sil Reynolds offer mothers and daughters the only kind of wisdom really worth givinga reminder that the big secret to a resilient bond is nothing less than love. Their voices intermingle authentically and eloquently, a model for us all of shared, intergenerational leadership and the power of courageous communication.

COURTNEY E. MARTIN

Author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters and Do It Anyway

What I love most about this book is how honest and down-to-earth Sil and Eliza are about themselves and their relationship. Girls and their moms will find comfort and companionship from two people who are themselves walking the path of the often complex mother-daughter dynamicand who offer strategies and wisdom that will help all of us become more aware, authentic mothers and daughters.

RACHEL SIMMONS

Author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl

This book is a precious gem that I wish had been around for my daughters adolescences. Sil and Eliza give a timeless gift to mothers and daughters to help them deepen their love and understanding of each other before, during, and after adolescence. Moms who dread the thought of raising their daughters in their teen years will value this lifesaver of practical wisdom. Daughters who are in the midst of figuring out who they are separate from their mothers will appreciate Elizas advice on how to have a supportive relationship with their mothers without constant fighting. Even though my daughters are now wonderful women, I want to share this book with them and look forward to the conversations and new understandings that this book encourages.

NANCY GRUVER

Founder of New Moon Girl Media

KEEPING YOUR BOND STRONG THROUGH THE TEEN YEARS

Sil Reynolds, RN, & Eliza Reynolds

Sounds True, Inc.

Boulder, CO 80306

Copyright 2013 Priscilla Reynolds & Eliza Reynolds

Sounds True is a trademark of Sounds True, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the authors and publisher.

Published 2013

Cover and book design by Rachael Murray

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Reynolds, Sil.

Mothering & daughtering : keeping your bond strong through the teen years / by Sil & Eliza Reynolds.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-60407-885-5

1. Mothers and daughters. 2. Parent and teenager. 3. Parenting. 4. Daughters.

I. Reynolds, Eliza. II. Title. III. Title: Mothering and daughtering.

HQ799.15.R49 2013

306.874'3dc23

2012037251

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-60407-946-3

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

MOTHERING

Sil Reynolds, RN

For Peter

I AM INDEBTED TO MY beloved friend Francie White for inspiring me to lead mother/adolescent-daughter workshops in the first place. Wendy Mallet was my wonderful first coleader. Eliza and I joined forces a couple of years later, when Elizabeth Lesser invited us to teach our first Mothering & Daughtering weekend workshop at the Omega Institute. Our book concept is her brainchild, and my gratitude to Elizabeth for the gift of being able to actually teach the subject I feel passionately aboutmother-daughter relationshipsis immense.

Nan Gatewood Satter, editor extraordinaire, never faltered in her belief in and support of our vision. Nan trusted her intuition and led us to our sensitive and savvy agent, Cynthia Cannell. I am in awe of these two women, who, with equal brain hemispheres ablaze, have brilliantly led us through the maze of the publishing world, as well as through the equally challenging world of writing a book.

Old friend Greg Zelonka wholeheartedly recommended us to Sounds True, and by such personal extensions of faith, our book proposal made it into the hands of the wonderful Jennifer Brown. Although we knew of the reputation of Sounds True publisher Tami Simon and her appreciation for important new work, I wasnt fully prepared for the pure delight of knowing her in person. She has a razor-sharp mind and a huge heart. The extraordinary wisdom, care, and enthusiasm of the entire Sounds True staffChantal Pierrat, Jennifer Holder, Tucker Collins, Wendy Gardner, and Rachael Murray, the very talented and flexible designermade our work with this book both seamless and joyful. They are a testament to Tamis vision and values.