Rubin - Outer order, inner calm: declutter & organize to make more room for happiness

ALSO BY GRETCHEN RUBIN

The Four Tendencies

Better Than Before

Happier at Home

The Happiness Project

Forty Ways to Look at JFK

Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill

Power Money Fame Sex: A Users Guide

Profane Waste (with Dana Hoey)

Copyright 2019 by Gretchen Rubin

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

crownpublishing.com

Harmony Books is a registered trademark, and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Rubin, Gretchen, author.

Title: Outer order, inner calm : declutter and organize to make more room for happiness / Gretchen Rubin.

Description: New York : Harmony, 2019.

Identifiers: LCCN 2018029854 (print) | LCCN 2018035349 (ebook) | ISBN 9781984822819 (e-book) | ISBN 9781984822802 (hardback)

Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) | Happiness. | Success. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness. | HOUSE & HOME / Cleaning & Caretaking. | SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Success.

Classification: LCC BF637.S4 (ebook) | LCC BF637.S4 R8283 2019 (print) | DDC 158--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018029854

ISBN9781984822802

Ebook ISBN9781984822819

Cover design by Danielle Deschenes

Illustrations by Jon McNaught

v5.3.2

prh

To my readers, listeners, and viewers

Order is Heavens first law.

ALEXANDER POPE

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

Why Bother with Outer Order?

In my study of happiness, Ive realized that for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm.

More than it should.

In the context of a happy life, a messy desk or a crowded coat closet is a trivial problemyet getting control of the stuff of life often makes it easier to feel more in control of our lives generally.

When Im surrounded by a mess, I feel restless and unsettled. When I clean up that mess, Im always surprised by the disproportionate energy and cheer I gain, plus Im able to find my keys. A friend once told me, I finally cleaned out my fridge and now I know I can switch careers. I knew exactly what she meant.

By getting rid of the things I dont use, dont need, or dont love, as well as the things that dont work, dont fit, or dont suit, I free my mindand my shelvesfor what I truly value. And thats true for most people.

Often, when disorder starts to creep in, I think, I dont have time to fight my way through all this stuff! Im too busy to deal with it! But Ive learned that by managing my possessions, I can improve my emotional attitude, my physical health, my intellectual vigor, and even my social life.

Now, no matter how busy I am, I force myself to take at least a few minutes each day to impose some order. If Im feeling overwhelmed by multiple writing deadlines, I spend twenty minutes cleaning my office, because I know that clearing my papers clears my mind.

Ive also found that once I start, its easier to keep going. True, sometimes it feels auspicious to do a big clutter-clearing on New Years Day, or as spring cleaning, or as preLabor Day prepbut now is always the best time to begin. A friend told me, I woke up one morning and on impulse decided to tackle my basement. I spent my entire Sunday down there, and I was so pumped by the end that I wanted to keep going all night. I got up early on Monday morning just to sit there and gloat. It gave me such a lift at the start of a tough workweek.

We want to cherish our possessions and we also want to feel free of them. I want to keep every toy that my children ever loved, but I also want to have plenty of space in our apartment.

With outer order, we achieve that balance.

Outer order offers nine promises:

OUTER ORDER SAVES TIME, MONEY, SPACE, ENERGY, AND PATIENCE. I move more smoothly through my days. I dont waste time searching for things; I dont struggle to put things away; I dont have to run out to buy a duplicate of something I already own. Its easier to clean. I feel less frustrated, less rushed, and less cramped. Im not frittering my life away on trivial chores and annoyances.

OUTER ORDER FOSTERS PEACE WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS. I spend less time nagging at or arguing with other people. I avoid boring questions like Wheres my passport? Wheres the toner? Who left the mess in that room? Where does this go?

OUTER ORDER CREATES A FEELING OF SANCTUARY. I experience true leisure because I dont feel pressured to jump up and deal with a mess. Once visual noise is eliminated, I feel more focused and theres more room in my mind, my schedule, and my space for creative activity. Instead of being sources of stress, my home and my office are places of comfort and energy. I can revel in the beauty of my possessions because I can see and reach everything easily. I have plenty of room for everything thats important to me. Our physical experience colors our emotional experience, and when my body is in a place thats orderly, my mind becomes more serene.

OUTER ORDER REDUCES GUILT. I feel relieved of guilt about the possessions Ive never used and the projects Ive never finished. Because I make better use of what I already own, I can buy less in the future. And I know Ill leave a lighter burden for others to handle after Im gone.

OUTER ORDER ALLOWS ME TO PROJECT A MORE POSITIVE IDENTITY TO MYSELF AND TO THE WORLD. I feel greater self-possession; I feel more self-assured and capable. Once Ive cleared away the things I dont need, use, or love, my surroundings reveal to me, and to others, the things that matter most to me. Careful curation means that my space and my possessions reflect my truest identity.

OUTER ORDER RELIEVES ME OF THE FEAR OF PEOPLES JUDGMENT. Im more hospitable because I can invite people over without hours of preparatory cleaning. I dont panic at the prospect of an unexpected guest or an emergency repair. Im pleased to show my space to others.

OUTER ORDER REFLECTS WHATS HAPPENING NOW IN MY LIFE. Because Ive let go of things that oncebut no longerplayed an active role in my life, I have more time for whats important right now. No more giant toys from my childrens babyhood, no more rows of thick law books crowding my office bookshelves. I keep a few precious mementos from the old days, but most of my space is devoted to whats important now .

OUTER ORDER CREATES A SENSE OF POSSIBILITY. When too much stuff piles up, I feel paralyzed. Digging myself out of the mess seems insurmountable, so I stay stuck. When clutter is gone, I have more choices about the future: what to buy, what to do, where and how to live. Because Im no longer hemmed in by possessions, I feel a sense of renewal.

OUTER ORDER SHARPENS MY SENSE OF PURPOSEFULNESS. I know what I have, why I have it, and where it belongs. I make good use of everything I own. Theres nothing random, no uncertainty, no default choices. Im surrounded by meaningful possessions that are ready for me to use them.

Our rooms shape our thoughts, and our possessions change our moods. It can be challenging to influence our thoughts and actions directly; by improving the state of our surroundings, we can improve our state of mind.