Pedram Shojai, OMD
THE ART OF STOPPING TIME
MICHAEL JOSEPH
UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia
India | New Zealand | South Africa
Michael Joseph is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
First published in the United States of America by Rodale Inc. 2017
First published in Great Britain by Michael Joseph 2017
Copyright Pedram Shojai, 2017
The moral right of the author has been asserted
Mention of specific companies, organizations or authorities in this book does not imply endorsement by the author or publisher, nor does mention of specific companies, organizations or authorities imply that they endorse this book, its author or the publisher.
Internet addresses and telephone numbers given in this book were accurate at the time it went to press.
ISBN: 978-0-718-18919-8
To my wonderful familyElmira, Sol, and Sophia.
My greatest desire is to stop time and be with you.
Any references to writing in this book refer to the original printed version. Readers should write on a separate piece of paper in these instances.
Introduction
This is a book about the crazy life we live in which time is always scarce.
Were all struggling to find time in our lives, but somehow theres less of it to go around each year. Were too tired to think, too wired to focus, and less efficient than we want to be. We feel guilty about not getting enough time with our loved ones.
Our perception of the scarcity of time is coupled with the epidemic of stress in the modern world: Stress makes us feel like the walls are closing in on us, which certainly doesnt help us feel better about time. We live in a culture that has lost the script and is absolutely frantic about the loss of time.
This concern about time is warranted. Time is the currency of life. We have a certain amount of heartbeats with which to savor life and really taste it. Our time with our families, loved ones, pets, and hobbies is precious, and we cherish it. We also trade our time for money. This money buys us shelter, food, vacations, and college for our kids. We can also squander our money, and its as though we never had that time at all.
We develop health issues when were less conscious of time. We then wish we had some time back to make things right. Time is all we have, and its our most valuable gift in life. When we run out, well, the game is over. We can look back, but we cant get it back.
When we dont have a positive connection with the flow of time, we lack purpose. We wander around, aimlessly squandering the time we have, only to regret it later. We get so lost in time that we cant even stop to look at the future and think through the impact of decisions today.
We see this not only on a personal level but also on a societal one: Our biggest political and environmental issues all stem from our personal relationship with time, which is in distress. We cant slow down. We cant stop consuming and polluting.
We all know that we feel starved for time, but what are we actually doing about it? Precious little.
This book is designed to change that and bring us back to a healthier connection with time. By adjusting our relationship with time and finding our center, we can take ownership of our commitments and reprioritize where our valuable time is spent and with whom. In a world where everything is available to us in an endless stream of information and opportunity, the onus is on us to control the gates and take ownership of our time. Our energy, our money, and our time are linked in ways we often dont think about. This book teaches us how in a simple, easy-to-follow, and proven methodology. Ive helped thousands of people find more time and peace by becoming Urban Monks.
My goal is to guide you toward what I call time prosperity, which means having the time to accomplish what you desire in life without feeling compressed, stressed, overburdened, or hurried. Time prosperity brings us peace, better decisions, better health, more family time, and a realignment of our priorities in a way that helps us bring fulfillment and purpose back. If you can control your relationship with time and achieve time prosperity, youll bring down your stress, have more energy, gain more fulfillment, and actually get more done.
So how do we achieve time prosperity? We learn to stop time. In this book, I will walk you through ancient spiritual practices and practical life skills that help us stop time by tapping into our innate wisdom, taking control of our calendars, and developing solid boundaries around time commitment. Think of this as the practice of mindful time management.
At the heart of this book, I walk you through a practice called a 100-Day Gong. Based on an ancient Chinese practice, a gong is a designated amount of time that you allot to perform a specific task every day. You pick a particular practice (or set of practices) and designate them as your gong and diligently practice them every day, without fail, for the time period. This not only builds resolve but also forces us to wake up and pay attention to our day-to-day routines. We know that our everyday microhabits lead to the lives we have now. Making small, simple yet significant changes along a longer period of time is the way forward. Change a little here and there and eventually life takes off in wonderful ways. A gong is a powerful way of not only building focus and determination but also ensuring that you train regularly. A gong is a dedicated act of self-love that snaps you out of your daily trance and brings the light of awareness to your consciousness. The more we practice, the more we wake up and the better off we are.
Because it takes at least 90 days for a particular good habit to burn into your nervous system, I have found the 100-Day Gong to be the most appropriate length to practice. You can think of it as a 100-day ritual that helps instill new habits. We all need rituals to snap us out of the trance of modern living and into a deeper personal interface where true change can happen. Instead of asking an already busy person whos on the verge of breaking to add one more thing to her chaotic life, were going to take something youre doing already and provide a swap that will help you liberate more time and energy each day. Were going to check in, relax a bit, and slightly alter a current habit by offering up a better way. We do this each day and slowly build better routines.
Some practices will stick, and others will not. Thats fine. The key is to slowly and gently unlock more time and therefore more energy and enthusiasm in your life through the practice. Youll keep some of the efficiencies or maybe come back to some later in life, but taking a 100-day walk through your life will fundamentally transform your relationship with time, energy, money, people, and life itself.
With short chapters, each day offers a quick lesson and action plan. Thats it. Some of the lessons focus on specific activities that you probably wish you had time to do. Some focus on general ways to find more time for however you want to use it. Some may be easy for you, and others may rattle your core. Over 100 days, life will be different. You will be different, and your relationship with time (and therefore life) will be fundamentally transformed for the better.