Robin Pickering - A Modern Approach to the Birds and the Bees

Praise for A Modern Approach to the Birds and the Bees

A Modern Approach to the Birds and the Bees is the only book youll need for teaching sex education. It is a clear, comprehensive, modern guidebook for all things related to sexuality. Every parent needs this book right next to their copy of What to Expect When Youre Expecting on their bookshelf. It is a resource theyll grab again and again throughout their childrens lives. Every teacher needs this as a reference book as well. I only wish Id had this boo k sooner.

Amanda DeLis-Mireles, mother of four (ages four to seventeen) a nd teacher

A Modern Approach to the Birds and the Bees is a tremendous resource for parents! My sons are in first and seventh grade, and the book eased my anxiety around sexual education by providing age-appropriate information and discussions ideas. It is not too early to protect and prepare my sons for healthy sexuality, and I am now armed to do so.

Tena Merkel Bak er, parent

As both a new step-mom and a woman who grew up with internet access before it was as monitored as it is now, I find this book an enlightening and informative resource to have, not only for navigating these conversations with my own kids, but for undoing two decades of misinformation and misunderstanding of my own sexuality and sexual health. Robins book bridges the gap between generations who have had no real acceptance and understanding of sexual health and education, and a younger generation who is bombarded with unfiltered, often unsolicited, information regarding their own s exuality.

Ka ylee Goins

Dr. Pickering brings a balanced, factual perspective into an arena that is presently governed by shame and confusion. In current sexual education models, there is a vast gap between what is evidence-based and what is in current practice. Dr. Pickering fills this gap with information and practical tools, making this book applicable for healthcare workers, parents, or anyone looking to understand the current sexual landscape of our culture. She has drawn from a wide variety of resources to compile a comprehensive guide that outlines the what and the how to talk to children and young adults about sexual health and relationships with confidence and clarity. I hope that this resource will empower parents and healthcare workers to support children through lifes transitions to become emotionally and physically health y adults.

Allison Grefsrud, BA Health Science and student of Naturopathi c Medicine

As a mom of two young adult men, I truly enjoyed reading this book and only wish I couldve read it earlier, when we first started talking about sex in our house. Perhaps the biggest benefits here are her real-world guides to navigating discussions about consent and breakups, the points where a compassionate parent needs guidance to discuss relationship topics normally only broached within a friendship circle. I recommend this book for all parents looking to connect with their maturing kids and help with relationship dev elopment.

Amy Biviano , MBA, CPA

Coral Gables

Copyright 2020 by Robin Pickering, PhD.
Published by Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

Cover Design: Roberto Nuez
Cover Photo/illustration: L. Kramer/stock.adobe
Layout & Design: Elina Diaz

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A Modern Approach to the Birds and the Bees: A Parents Comprehensive Guide to Talking about Sexuality

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication number: 2020940934
ISBN: (print) 978-1-64250-325-8, (ebook) 978-1-64250-326-5
BISAC category code: FAM034000, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / General

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter Three Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
Respecting and Understanding Differences

Chapter Seven Making Sex Safer
Staying Safe When Choosing to Be Sexually Active

Chapter Eleven Talking to Kids about Sex
The Whats, the Hows, and the Whens of Sex-Positive Parenting

When my daughter first asked how babies were made, she was six years old and, like most kids her age, very inquisitive. I was in graduate school, fully engulfed in my studies which included advanced coursework in human sexuality and health education. I found myself particularly interested in the concept of age appropriate sexuality education, as it was so different from what was actually being taught in schools and by even the brightest parents that I knew. The more I learned about anatomy and physiology and reproduction and sexually transmitted infections, the larger the gap appeared between science and practice.

So when my daughter approached me with her question, I was ecstatic! Unlike many of my friends, I was looking forward to launching into the next phase of our mother/daughter relationship. It felt as though the time and money I had invested in grad school were about to come to fruition, and I was anxious to apply what I had learned and practice my newly acquired teachi ng skills.

I took a breath, and with great pride launched into my monologue. She listened intently and with great interest to my carefully deliver ed speech.

And then , silence.

A cur ious look.

Silence.

A distu rbed look.

And then mor e silence.

When she was finally ready to speak, she looked me in the eye and matter-of-factly stated, Well, thats the grossest thing I have ever heard, and I wish you would have never told me. I let out a laugh, and we didnt resume the conversation for at least ano ther year.

I often think about that story when I reflect on my passion for educating kids and parents about sexuality. Even as a person who has taken many doctorate-level courses on education and sexuality and has taught in that area for many years, I find that parental discussions about issues concerning sexuality can be difficult. Really difficult. And although talking to kids about sex has never been an easy task, it seems that a variety of factors make those discussions even more difficult in a modern context. With this book, my hope is that those discussions will be a little easier and a lot more effective.

Talking about Sex in a Modern Context Is Necessary but Difficult

Unquestionably, a changing social and technological environment brings new concerns for parents. Changing attitudes toward sexuality, the pervasiveness of internet access and social media, sexting, and new legal and social standards around issues of consent raise understandable anxiety and uncertainty for parents who may ask themselves question s such as: