Kelly Rippon - Parent Up: Inspire Your Child to Be Their Best Self

by Adam Rippon

When I think of my mom, I think of someone who has always given selflessly. As Ive gotten older and hit my thirties, I appreciate more and more of what she has given me and taught me. When your mom tells you to stay positive or to never give up, sometimes it can feel like, Really, Mom?! Of course your mom is going to say that!

A lot of the lessons I learned from my mom I didnt really understand until I was older. I didnt understand that so many of the habits I formed were because of herI always heard what she was saying, but it wasnt until I was older that I was living by it. I was stubborn when I was young; I wanted things immediately, and I wanted to be perfect. It was a pressure I put on myself.

My mom always told me to watch the way I spoke to myself, that my brain was always listening. I didnt understand what she meant when she told me this at first. I thought that if I wasnt mean to myself, I wouldnt be able to get motivated. She told me to always watch the words I used. I knew it was important; I was very good at helping my friends through tough situations, and I would never accept them talking down to themselves. I eventually learned that if I wasnt going to allow my friends to speak to themselves that way, I shouldnt allow myself to talk to me that way.

Growing up, there were times I didnt believe in myself or in what I was doing. Performing and competing in a sport where you are constantly judged against your peers, I found it difficult at times to stay optimistic. I wanted so badly to be perfect. For years it held me back in my sports life. I knew I was capable of so much more than my results were showing and far more than I was telling myself in my lowest moments, the ones when I felt like quitting. I became more aware of what I was saying in my head and decided to make a change. I improved my self-talk, and I improved my results. I pushed myself further than I thought I could go, after I started telling myself that I was powerful. I forced myself to see the bigger picture. I didnt know where this inner voice came from that pushed me to get through those moments, but it was there. I didnt know until later that it came from my mom.

I wanted so badly to gain more confidence. So, I started noticing the small achievements and wrote them all down. I set daily goals, and as I collected each days accomplishments, my confidence grew. Did I eventually get the confident swagger of Oprah? Well, no, that never happened. (Honestly, Im still waiting to be as confident as Oprah, but who isnt?) But I did gain confidence, and it grew from the ideas I learned from my mom. My brain really was listening, and I started telling it to think higher and dream bigger, because I was ready.

I was teased a lot as a young kid. I hated that feeling, and I promised myself that if I ever saw someone who looked like they were feeling the way I felt in those times, I would extend a helping hand or do my best to help them feel like they were worthy. I learned at a young age the power of compassion. Just listening to someone can make a big difference, and it has helped me to be empathetic to others.

The times when everything seemed to come together, I would feel like I was untouchable or that I was just in such a good rhythm that nothing could knock me off my path. I know what those moments feel like, and I also know now that they dont happen all the time. The times when I felt like I came so close but just not close enough, I never blamed anyone. I learned from my mom that unless I took responsibility for my actions, I wouldnt have the power to fix them. I took a hard look in the mirror and held myself accountable for moments where maybe I could have given more or learned from my mistakes. I also felt that it was important to accept disappointments with graceyes, those moments may have been disappointing, but they werent total failures. There were moments where I got to learn more and do better. Being accountable for my mistakes and my successes was a strategy that I took right from my moms playbook.

As an athlete, you learn that good habits create good results. My mom encouraged me to practice some habits when I was young, like being organized with my time and things and writing down goals. I didnt understand until I was much older how important these habits would be and what an impact they would have on my life.

Learning and practicing qualities like empathy, having a healthy perspective, and showing kindness to others has been so valuable to who I am as a person. When I moved across the country in my twenties, I felt like an adult for the first time in my life. I had the chance to reflect, and I realized that all of those lessons Id learnedthe way I was mindful of other people, the way I was accountable for my actions, the way I talked to myselfit was all because of my mom.

It wasnt until I was older that I realized the undeniable feeling of thinking that I could do anything was a seed my mom had planted so many years ago. While she had planted those seeds, it took my own personal journey to let them bloom. I didnt just gain these perspectives; they were lessons I had learned from the time I was a child.

Being a parent means being a teacher at the highest level. Its a balance of influencing your child to do better and being their ultimate cheerleader. I will never be able to say thank you enough to my mom. Growing up and becoming an adult is a wild ride. But on this wild ride, Ive learned how far being kind to one another and ourselves can really take us. It was when I finally applied all the lessons I learned from my mom that I was able to go out and be my best every day. I learned from my mom that being my best was the mindset of a champion, and my mom taught me to be a champion, on and off the ice. Im sure there were times when my mom wasnt certain if what she was doing was the right thing, but I always looked to her and admired how she was never afraid to take risks. I take that Kelly Rippon mentality into everything I do.