Breeshia Wade - Grieving While Black

Grieving While Black expands the notion of grief beyond its quick association with death to examine all of the spiritual and psychological tolls of racism and sexism. By drawing on her experiences as a birth doula and chaplain, Breeshia Wade complicates grief itself by exploring different forms of loss while also imagining a path toward healing. A bracing, illuminating read.

Brit Bennett, author of the New York Times best sellers The Vanishing Half and The Mothers

This is a remarkable book, written bravely, wisely, and honestly, for all of us. Page after page, I learned about grief, race, and justiceand, most importantly, about liberation. I will return to Grieving While Black for the rest of my life.

Joan Halifax, PhD, Zen teacher, anthropologist, social activist, and abbot of Upaya Zen Center

Breeshia Wade has written a moving testament to the power of grief and healing at the intersection of generational loss, race, and sexuality. This book is a must-read for anyone looking to enact compassionate antiracism in their activism and in their lives.

Sarah Valentine, PhD, author of When I Was White

As Black people, one of our widest gateways to freedom is our very own grief. In the way many Black women have stood as protectors and have held out their hands, Wade stands at this gateway, arms open, inviting us into a meadow where we can take our time, acknowledge our loss, and allow our grief to lead us into wellness. She asks pointed questions that will take you below the surface of things and into the dark watery abyss that is filled with the medicine we need. Take your time and sip on this one.

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, author of The Deepest Peace and The Way of Tenderness

Breeshia Wade has given us an important book. She speaks with deep awareness and compassion, and from intimate knowledge about grief and chaplain work with the grieving.

Taigen Dan Leighton, guiding Dharma teacher of Ancient Dragon Zen Gate in Chicago, and author of Faces of Compassion and Zen Questions

Grieving While Black emerges from the depths of the writers soulas a human being, a Black woman, a Southern-Baptist-raised practicing Buddhist, and advocate, guide, and caretaker for families who are in various states of emotional dishevelment. Her words come from the heart, from her experience helping others to attend to their grief. In her mission, Breeshia Wade has answered a calling. At a moment in human history where so many people are awakening to racial injustice, this book is a valuable resource to help us cultivate compassion, grieving, and healing together.

Stephen Murphy-Shigematsu, lecturer in Comparative Studies in Race and Ethnicity, Stanford University, and author of From Mindfulness to Heartfulness

Copyright 2021 by Breeshia Wade. All rights reserved. No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwisewithout the written permission of the publisher. For information, contact North Atlantic Books.

Published by
North Atlantic Books
Berkeley, California
Cover design by Jess Morphew
Book design by Happenstance Type-O-Rama

Grieving While Black: An Antiracist Take on Oppression and Sorrow is sponsored and published by the Society for the Study of Native Arts and Sciences (dba North Atlantic Books), an educational nonprofit based in Berkeley, California, that collaborates with partners to develop cross-cultural perspectives, nurture holistic views of art, science, the humanities, and healing, and seed personal and global transformation by publishing work on the relationship of body, spirit, and nature.

North Atlantic Books publications are available through most bookstores. For further information, visit our website at www.northatlanticbooks.com or call 800-733-3000.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Wade, Breeshia, 1991- author.
Title: Grieving while Black : an antiracist take on oppression and sorrow /
by Breeshia Wade.
Description: Berkeley, California : North Atlantic Books, [2020] | Includes
bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020034285 (print) | LCCN 2020034286 (ebook) | ISBN
9781623175511 (paperback) | ISBN 9781623175528 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: RacismUnited States. | African AmericansSocial
conditions. | Grief.
Classification: LCC E184.A1 W1189 2020 (print) | LCC E184.A1 (ebook) |
DDC 305.800973dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020034285
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020034286

This book includes recycled material and material from well-managed forests. North Atlantic Books is committed to the protection of our environment. We print on recycled paper whenever possible and partner with printers who strive to use environmentally responsible practices.

To Mary

My twin flame. Ive spent a lifetime chasing dreams, but you are a reality that exceeds even my wildest imaginings. Its been a difficult journey, but thank God for love, for grieffor you.

T his project would not have been possible without the support of family members and friends who loved me in my most difficult moments through their presence and faith in me.

To Mary Carp: You have supported this project simply by allowing me to witness you. The way that you choose to be present and accountable in the world, the way that you lovetruly profound. Thank you.

To my parents, Phyllis and Parrott Wade: I wish Dad were still here. I love you both so much. Thank you for teaching me about love and loss through your devotion and imperfections.

To my grandparents, LeRoy and Martha Ervin and Frank Belton: Thank you for loving me unconditionally and for teaching me (through faith and hymns) how to get in touch with a power beyond life and death.

To my stepdad, Willie Keye: Thank you for your presence in my familys life and your faith in me.

To my Uncle Charles: Thank you for teaching me to keep fighting, even when life gets tough. I love you.

To all of my elders who gave me the spiritual tools to protect and heal myself: (great great great) Aunt Suga, Mary Anne Campbell, Dorothy May Rambert, Carmen James McClinton, Robert James Jr., Maggie James, and Robert James Sr.

Thank you.

I am exceedingly grateful for my chosen familymentors and friendswho put up with my shit without biological obligation.

To Dr. Stephen Murphy-Shigematsu: You contributed a ridiculous amount to my chaplaincy journey, and you are always looking out for me. I never finished that booklet of poetry, but you definitely earned this shout-out. Thanks for being a badass professor and mentor!

To Mark Tabbut: You are such a powerful human being, and it makes me sad that there are people who will leave this earth without ever knowing you. Thank you for teaching me the gift of being haunted.

To Dr. Dominique Lyew: Thank you for pushing me to grow; you always challenge my perspective. And thanks for constantly reminding me that Im a writer ... because, you know, I always get distracted by other projects.

To Carrie Targhetta: Thank you for being the best high school English teacher I couldve asked for, and a lifelong friend. The depth of your love and support has shaped me profoundly.

To Dr. Cynthia Lindner: Thank you for investing in me, for loving me, and for teaching me to see the beauty in the eye of a storm.