Kelly Wendorf - Flying Lead Change

Table of Contents

For
my beloved Scott,
my exceptional son Dakota,
my powerful daughter MacKenzie,
and my magical mother Peta.

And for Cimarron, our teacher and friend.

O ut on the street. This was our prospect in the winter of 2018 when our landlord, a multibillion-dollar-backed investment firm, threatened to take away our ranch just outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, due to a loophole in the contract. This was not only our family home, including a menagerie of animals, but also the retreat campus of our leadership and personal development organization EQUUS. Like so many business owners, Scott and I had poured everything we had into EQUUS mind, body, soul. To lose our land now would be a disaster. Was this the end of it all?

After yet another cold, sweat-drenched night, I sat down to my desk in my study a room reserved solely for my writing (and the occasional house guest). I sat blankly in front of my screen, my heart draining out of my feet. No words were flowing. Just then the phone rang. A kind voice spoke on the other end.

Hi, my name is Anastasia.

Yes... I said flatly.

Im from Sounds True publishing. We wondered if you would be interested in writing a book for us.

And so began these pages. Life has been like that for me. I usually have to be tapped firmly on the shoulder by someone who sees the value in what I do and asked to step forward and share, sometimes despite my own pervading self-doubt. You could say I have a quality of reluctance.

The truth is, I used to be reluctant about simply being human. As a child, the disconnection, frustration, fear, betrayal, confusion, heartbreak, complexity, and challenges that invariably came along with being human overwhelmed me. Ambivalent about the entire experience, I was not altogether sure if I even wanted to be one a human, I mean. It seemed so much easier to be, say, an eagle or a deer, a tree, or nothing at all. I regularly questioned the status quo of what we were meant to value and strive toward. And though as a young adult working in the corporate sector I looked successful, internally I was besieged with conflict. This kindled a voracious drive to seek insight and answers so that I could thrive at being human and live by a code that felt intrinsically congruent. This book is a culmination of that lifelong education.

My seeking took me to some very unconventional places, and my path moved like a spiral, never direct, always winding from the inside out and from the outside in. It called forth teachers that emerged from several different and unlikely sources, teachers who have taken a variety of shapes and forms. The natural world has taught me more about being human than any person could, and the precious company of indigenous elders around the world taught me how to translate those invisible teachings of nature into practical applications of daily life. I spent years in India, immersed in the practice of spiritual self-inquiry with a sage in Uttar Pradesh. As the founding editor of an Australian magazine called Kindred (which explores the evidence-based conditions that create a just and sustainable society), I immersed myself in studying the field of neuroscience and learned about the biology of thriving. Kindred provided me the opportunity to explore the scientific underpinnings of all I had learned from nature, my spiritual work, and the indigenous teachings. And finally, the formal training in becoming a Master Certified Coach taught me to hold space for others on this human journey so that they too could find their way to live, guide their families, and lead their organizations from their own intrinsic wisdom. EQUUS is the full expression of that spiral-shaped journey; we use all those elements in our work with our clients and strive to embed them in our organizational culture.

You may not be as reluctant as I have been, but Im fairly certain if you are human then you have had and will have your fair share of challenges that we all invariably face. Perhaps, like me, you are looking for trustworthy answers and insights and, like me, you have had your fill of conventional approaches to problem-solving and want something that resonates more harmoniously with some quiet calling within you.

This book is a field guide to being human. It weaves together the influences of nature-based intelligence, indigenous knowledge, contemplative wisdom, and neuroscience for a new reality. In it you will meet a number of teachers, and you will have the opportunity to learn from them too, just as I did (and still do). Additionally, you will receive applications and practices so that the teachings translate into lasting change and transformation in your own life, with your family, and for your work. I hope that you will recognize the books invitation as not only an individualized growth opportunity, but a chance to influence a larger constituency, for we are shaped not only by our private choices, but our lives are coauthored by the cultural milieu within which we abide.

For those of you who are looking for a quick how-to guide, who prefer succinct bullet lists and mental model diagrams, this is a heads up. The type of wisdom that sustains over time and translates into practical measurable change does not deliver first to the mind. It delivers to the heart. According to neurocardiologists, the heart and its complex neural network send more information to the mind than the mind sends to the heart. When the heart informs the mind, the mind gains wisdom. The heart learns through story, through time, and through reflection. For this reason, this book deliberately traverses in such a way for you to learn differently for more optimal outcomes. Be prepared to settle in and travel the places it takes you; it may at times feel oddly not rational or linear.

To support your personal growth process, at the end of each chapter is a breakout section titled Spiral Point that features journal questions, suggested exercises, and reflections so that you too can journey from the inside out and the outside in. While I am not a neuroscientist, I do study the field because its an effective pathway to learning and changing our brains, hence many of the exercises are based in the neuroscientific principles and include somatic (bodily, visceral, felt sense) instructions. Such somatic exercises help you to rewire your nervous system and your brain and therefore create lasting change in your life. When engaging with the exercises, I advise you to make small micro-steps toward change. Studies show that small, practical, easily practiced action steps create significant change over time, rather than huge efforts that invariably fall to the wayside.

To protect the privacy of EQUUS clients and other individuals referred to in this book, some names have been changed and details excluded. The book includes traditional stories that have been passed down over time and therefore often cant readily be attributed or cited to an individual source, but I do my best to acknowledge my sources wherever possible. I have been sensitive to include only stories that have been freely shared, and have made sure to omit certain teachings not meant for public consumption. I also want to alert First Nations readers (specifically Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people) that this book contains images and names of people who have died.

And what happened to our property and EQUUS? Writing the book that became