Lukasiak - Girl on Pointe

This book is dedicated to everyone who was ever told that they werent good enough.

Hi, there. Im Chloe!

Heres a bunch of stuff most people dont know about me:

1 . I used to be incredibly shy.

2 . In elementary school, I would sit in the corner with a book and try to be invisible. At times, my only friends were my teachers.

3 . In the past, I sought approval from my guy friends more than from my girl friends.

4 . I fight with my mom.

5 . I love rainy days.

6 . Ive had to deal with bullies.

7 . Im obsessed with reading.

8 . I worry all the time.

9 . I like to see a movie in the theater twice, and Ill go by myself if no one wants to go with me.

10 . Im a huge Star Wars and Marvel geek.

11 . Im a really competitive person (and proud of it!).

12 . I have a brain that is constantly thinking and overthinking and analyzing.

13 . Ive always been scared of people making fun of me (including friends).

Im also a big believer that everything happens for a reason. I know, I know... life would be way easier without problems and losses and disappointments. And medical issues (more on that later). But I wouldnt have achieved what Ive achievedmy dancing, my time on the Lifetime reality show Dance Moms, my Teen Choice Award, my new acting career, writing this book (!!!), and so much morewithout all the challenges Ive faced.

So.

Im here to tell you that you can achieve your dreams and goals. You can overcome your obstacles, whatever they are.

Because all that bad stuff? It made you who you are; it made you stronger and wiser. It created the special nooks and crannies in your personality that make you you.

But if you feel like you have a long way to go before you get to stronger and wiser... or youre not super down with the nooks and crannies of your personality these days... well, I hope my story can help and inspire you a little.

In these pages, Im going to share things Ive never shared beforeabout my shyness and anxiety and self-doubt... about figuring out who I am and what I want to do for the rest of my life... about competition and friendship and family... and lots more. Youll find other things, too, like tips for pushing through a bad day (or week or month or year), my favorite causes, and how I celebrate my favorite time of year (hint: it involves pumpkin spice lattes). You might also find some drawings and poems and short stories by a certain someone, because, hey, its all about getting out of our comfort zone and flexing new muscles, right?

Together, we will take on the world one pirouette at a time!

Hugs and kisses,

P.S. Youre probably wondering: What is a pirouette? Is it a Pokmon move, or a fancy French snack, or what? A pirouette is a dance turn that involves placing one foot on the opposite knee, toes pointed, and spinning around and around on the foot thats on the ground. Its one of my favorite dance steps because youre in control and not in control at the same time. It also involves a lot of falling on your butt while youre learning how to do it. Like life.

P.P.S. Will this book be full of dorky dance metaphors? You betcha!

Contents

CHAPTER 1

Back to the Future

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Sren Kierkegaard (philosopher)

S o Im sitting at my super-cool white PBteen vanity, which I use as a desk, trying to figure out where to begin my story. (Nope, thats not true. Im actually lying on my bed in my sweatpants and my Ross and Rachel and Chandler and Monica and Phoebe and Joey T-shirt, eating raw Toll House cookie dough and stressing about my day.)

Maybe I should just dive right in.

I think Ill start with a few years ago and then jump back and forth in timeorganized chaos, which is kinda how my brain works.

So in 2014, I said good-bye to Dance Moms and thought it was for good. I was thirteen years old. I had been on the show since I was like nine and a half (when I still slept with the bathroom light on, and I never wanted to be apart from my blue comfort blankie, Blue Kitty, or my golden retriever stuffy, Cami). Dance Moms was my past, and I had a different path ahead of mea shiny, wonderful, yet-to-be-revealed path. A path that didnt involve fighting or social media trolls or the constant, constant pressure. I was sooo done with reality TV.

Then...

A few months ago, I found myself on the set of the Dance Moms Season Seven winter finale. Not to watch from the sidelines, but to go in front of the cameras and be part of the episode.

Why in the name of raw Toll House cookie dough had I agreed to this? (Uh-huh, you counted right... this is our second raw Toll House cookie dough reference, and were only .) Was I forever stuck in 2014, dancing in place, unable to grand jet forward into that shiny future?

That day as I walked onto the set with my mom, with the camera crew capturing my body language, my facial expression, and my every move (I tried for my Confident Chloe Smile, like I totally knew what I was doing, which I totally didnt), I wondered if I could handle this. I was about to see my old teammates and also dancers Id never met before. I never thought I would be back on set again.

Well, guess what.

It turned out I could handle it.

And I wasnt stuck in the past.

Because sometimes you have to go backward to go forward.

Ill tell you more about that wild episode later on, and the other episodes I ended up filming after that, too.

Okay, heres where I jumpI mean, grand jetway back to the beginning. Strap on your pointe shoes, people...

IF YOUVE NEVER SEEN DANCE MOMS

Dance Moms is a reality show on the Lifetime channel that debuted on July 13, 2011. It follows the young dancers on a junior elite competition team, our moms, and our coach and chief choreographer.

The episodes get up close and personal as the girls train for competitions and for professional dance careers. Sometimes, there areum, how do I put this delicately?arguments. Sometimes, the arguments get pretty loud and crazy. The moms really care about us daughters, and theyre not afraid to show it. And the coaching can be tough.