Katherine Ketcham - The Only Life I Could Save

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acknowledgments

W ith gratitude abounding, I thank:

Robyn, Alison, and Ben, my moon, sun, and stars... and Pat, who keeps everything in orbit.

Mike, Billy, and Debbie, my brother, sisters, and best friends; and Mom, Dad, and Johnny, who left us all too soon.

Ernie Kurtz, who showed me a way but taught me there is no one way, and to his wife, Linda, who so lovingly shared Ernie with me all these years.

The staff at the Walla Walla Juvenile Justice Center, especially Mike Bates, Julie Elmenhurst, Norrie Gregoire, Debbie Kelley, and Vance Norsworthy, who gave me a chance and changed my life.

The youth in detention and on probation who are my greatest teachers.

Colleen, who became a friend for life.

Laurie Becker, whose compassion and intelligence shepherded this book through multiple drafts and pulled me from the edge more times than I can count.

Lenna Buissink, Marilyn Dickinson, Debbie Goodeve, Billy Heath, and Robyn, Alison, Pat, and Ben Spencermy diligent, loving readers who allowed me to speak my own truth, which, of course, may not be their truth.

Nick Dillon, my tattoo guru, and Miriam Todras Spencer, for putting up with me, and the boisterous Ketcham-Spencer clan.

Jane Barragar and Kathleen Hutchison, my Wicked Sisters, who never fail to remind me that book clubs arent always about books.

Lou Holm, Jeff Jay, Debra Jay, Sharon Kaufman-Osborn, Marie Metheny, William Moyers, Scott Munson, Danny Reese, Marv Seppala, Susan Stough, and Joyce Sundin (among so many others), who led us through the rough and tumble with skill and grace.

Ben Dorrington and the staff at Wilderness Treatment Center and Gray Wolf Ranch, who understand that the process of recovery is unpredictable and unique to each individual and whose patience and steadfastness allowed the miracle to happen.

Susan, Tim, Linda, Steve, and their boys, who brought home the real meaning of community; and Allison, Charles, Connie, Dan, Dana, Gail, Gloria, John, Kim, Lenna, Marla, Sandy, Shelley, Tami, and the entire Trilogy family, including Luis, Megan, and Cari, who have kept the spirit of community alive for all these years.

Gary DAgostinowe miss you more than we can sayand Liz and Sarah, who so lovingly keep his memory alive.

Bill White, a hero in the addiction and recovery world and a great friend to Ernieand, to my everlasting gratitude, to me.

Haven Iverson, my editor at Sounds True. Haven is a writers dream come true, willing to dig into a manuscript and, holding nothing back, offer insightful critiques and detailed suggestions. Her honesty, talent, and sensitivity helped stitch this book into a coherent whole. Shes a treasure.

The talented team at Sounds True, who make me thank my lucky stars every day for landing at a publishing house where relationships matter. Thank you especially to Jennifer Brown, director of acquisitions; Sarah Gorecki, managing editor; Tara Joffe, copyeditor; Wendy Gardner, publicist; Chloe Prusiewicz, product marketing manager; and Rachael Murray, Beth Skelley, and Karen Polaski for the book and cover design.

Jane Dystel, my dynamic, indefatigable, never-take-no-for-an-answer literary agenta true authors agentwho has guided my career with a steady hand for many years.

After all is said and done, whatever imperfections remain are mine to claim.

Also by Katherine Ketcham

Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism, coauthored with James R. Milam, PhD

Eating Right to Live Sober: A Comprehensive Guide to Alcoholism and Nutrition, coauthored with L. Ann Mueller, MD

Recovering: How to Get and Stay Sober, coauthored with L. Ann Mueller, MD

Living on the Edge: A Guide to Intervention for Families with Drug and Alcohol Problems, coauthored with Ginny Lyford Asp

Witness for the Defense: The Accused, the Eyewitness, and the Expert Who Puts Memory on Trial, coauthored with Elizabeth Loftus, PhD

The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning, coauthored with Ernest Kurtz

The Myth of Repressed Memory: False Memories and Allegations of Sexual Abuse, coauthored with Dr. Elizabeth Loftus

In the House of the Moon: Reclaiming the Feminine Spirit of Healing, coauthored with Jason Elias

The Five Elements of Self-Healing: Using Chinese Medicine for Maximum Immunity, Wellness, and Health, coauthored with Jason Elias

Beyond the Influence: Understanding and Defeating Alcoholism, coauthored with William F. Asbury

The Power of Empathy: A Practical Guide to Creating Intimacy, Self-Understanding, and Lasting Love in Your Life, coauthored with Arthur P. Ciaramicoli, EdD, PhD

Teens Under the Influence: The Truth About Kids, Alcohol, and Other DrugsHow to Recognize the Problem and What to Do About It, coauthored with Nicholas A. Pace, MD

Broken: My Story of Addiction and Redemption, coauthored with William Cope Moyers

Miss ODell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and the Women They Loved, coauthored with Chris ODell

Experiencing Spirituality: Finding Meaning Through Storytelling, coauthored with Ernest Kurtz

The Pain Antidote: The Proven Program to Help You Stop Suffering from Chronic Pain, Avoid Addiction to Painkillersand Reclaim Your Life, coauthored with Mel Pohl, MD

about the author

K atherine Ketcham has been writing nonfiction books for nearly forty years. Her first book, Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism (coauthored with James Milam, PhD) was published in 1981 and is considered a classic in addiction literature, along with The Spirituality of Imperfection (coauthored with Ernest Kurtz). The Only Life I Could Save is her seventeenth book. Her books have been published in sixteen foreign languages and have sold almost two million copies.

In 1999, Katherine began volunteering at the Juvenile Justice Center in Walla Walla, Washington, leading educational groups and working individually with adolescents in trouble with alcohol and other drugs. For four years she wrote a bimonthly newspaper column for the Walla Walla Union Bulletin titled Straight Talk About Drugs. She is the founder and former executive director of Trilogy Recovery Community, a grassroots, nonprofit organization in Walla Walla dedicated to developing and expanding community-based recovery support services for chemically dependent youth and their family members.

Katherine lives in Walla Walla with her husband, Patrick Spencer, a geology professor. They have three children: Robyn, a speech pathologist living in Portland, Oregon; Alison, a special education teacher in Seattle, Washington; and Benjamin.