Salt and Sage Books - How to Write Asexual Characters: An Incomplete Guide (Incomplete Guides Book 2)

Dear Reader,

Thank you for considering including an asexual character in your project! Its very easy for asexual individuals to feel that they are not complete. Sexuality is something that is so often painted as a feature that comes standard in all humans, something that everybody wants, thinks about, and is capable of.

I personally have often felt that Ill somehow never be a real adult if I dont hit certain sexual milestones; this fear is reinforced by a society that so often equates sex with worldliness and loss of virginity with entrance into adulthood. And as an asexual who is not aromantic, its easy to feel that Ill never have enough to offer as a partner to make up for the inherent flaw of not offering sexas if dating me is some sort of rip-off.

Here's the beautiful thing: any time I see myself reflected in media, all these insecurities start to melt off my shoulders. Im reminded that people like me are complete, undamaged, and deserving of all the same things as our allosexual counterparts. Im reminded that an interest in sex isnt what makes us human.

I hope this Guide will give you a beginning familiarity with the wide range of experiences that asexuality can stand for. As youll learn, there are many ways to be asexual. We are all different, and all of our stories deserve representation.

Whatever asexual character has risen up in your mind and asked you to share their voice with the world, please take the time to listen deeply. Happy writing!

Tova

Dear Reader,

Welcome to the first of Salt & Sage Books Incomplete Guide series. Were glad to have you here!

Do you remember the first time you read a book and thought, Ah! Thats me!? That ringing inside of being seen?

I do. As a child, I was obsessed with a Cinderella book. Cinderella was white, blond, and female, just like me. I was probably two.

As we interview for Salt & Sage, we ask, When have you felt seen? The answers weve heard from our incredible editors & readers have been inspiring and heartbreaking. Some of them have been avid readers their whole lives, but have yet to read about someone who looks like them, feels like them, talks like them.

Thats where you come in, dear author, ready to write those characters, ready to look beyond stereotypes, ready to write whole people.

Salt & Sage is all about quality editing with kindnessand kindness isnt just an encouraging tone in an edit letter or complimentary in-line notes. Kindness is helping authors like you (like me!) who want to do better and be better, but arent sure where to start. That meant providing a level of sensitivity reading beyond a basic rubber stamp of yes/no.

As sensitivity reads flowed in and out, I noticed a pattern: the same concerns were appearing again and again in the letters from our asexual readers. I saw the same pattern from our trans readers. Once I noticed it, the pattern showed up everywhere: our sensitivity readers were regularly rehashing the same concerns related to their identities.

That got me thinkingif our authors were consistently having the same issues, could we help in a more targeted way? And what about the authors for whom a sensitivity read is too expensive?

The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Ive talked to lots of people in the writing world about writing diversely, and the same thing stops nearly all of them: fear. They dont know where to start. They arent sure that their Googled information is accurate. They dont know anyone who they can ask, or they are too nervous to ask.

After lots of brainstorming about the best way to provide this information, the Incomplete Guides were born. Youre currently reading our Incomplete Guide to Writing Asexual Characters . This was written entirely by our asexual readers and editors. Theyve addressed the most common areas of concern that pop up in their sensitivity reading. Youll see sections where they write from their own point of view, and where they share things that are personal.

We are grateful to them for their vulnerability and openness within this Guide .

As you read this, you might find yourself feeling uncomfortable. Thats okay. Take a deep breath and lean into the discomfort. Remember that unlearning (and re-learning) requires concerted effort and real intention.

Of course, even though this was written and edited by multiple asexual editors, we called the guide incomplete for a reasonits not a blank check, nor is it a rubber stamp. Even if you address everything in this guide, you should still seek input from at least one member of the community youre writing about.

Salt & Sage Books has sensitivity readers on staff. Many authors also have success posting about their specific needs on Twitters writing hashtags. Be sure to pay your readers for their labor. Listen carefully to their feedback, and you will most certainly write a better book.

We hope that The Incomplete Guide to Writing Asexual Characters will be a helpful resource as you write diversely. We invite you to step inside the viewpoint of our editors and experience a deeper, more impactful form of researching. We hope that will help you confront your own biases when writing asexual characters.

Mostly, we hope that you will continue to create thoughtful, nuanced asexual characters. We hope that you will be part of the movement to create more diverse books. Its critical work. Its occasionally difficult. Its deeply worth the effort.

May you write books that help people feel seen.

Erin Olds (she/her)

CEO, Salt & Sage Books

S o what exactly is asexuality? Where does it fit along the LGBTQIA+ spectrum? Is it an orientation or something else? How do you write a character who is asexual? Lets talk about the basics.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that entails a lack of sexual attraction.

Asexuality is about attraction, not action: some people include other actions, attitudes, and beliefs in how they conceptualize their asexuality, but nothing is inherent in asexuality except for a lack of attraction.

Asexuality, simply put, is the lack of sexual attraction. This is both the most important as well as the determining factor in asexuality. Some asexuals, or aces for short, enjoy the act of sex itself. Others may not care for sex but are not put off by the idea. Some are even repulsed by the act, doing their best to stay as far away from anything referencing sex as possible. Whether or not they enjoy the act itself, the only descriptor of an ace that matters is that they are not sexually attracted to another human being.