Colleen Rush - The Mere Mortals Guide to Fine Dining: From Salad Forks to Sommeliers, How to Eat and Drink in Style Without Fear of Faux Pas

RELAXHELP IS ON THE WAY
SCHMOOZING THE STAFF LIKE A SEASONED DINER

At Your Service:
Who's Who in a Restaurant

From Nobody to VIP:
How to Be a Regular

WHEREFORK ART THOU?
THE ART OF EATING AND BEHAVING AT THE TABLE

Your Turf on a Formal Table:
Navigating a Proper Place Setting

Keep Your Elbows Off the Table:
A Refresher on Acting Polite and Polished

Millennium Manners:
Civilized Solutions for Modern Faux Pas

Dinner Diplomacy:
From Funky Food to Finished!

FOLLOWING ORDERS
from menu specials to small plates,
how to get what you want

Menu Voodoo:
Understanding Restaurant Tricks,
Chef's Tastings, and Small Plates

Get a Culinary Clue:
Speaking the Language of Fine Food

BOOZE CLUES
DRINKING TO ENHANCE A MEALNOT DROWN IT

Aperitifs: Classic Cocktails to
Prime the Palate

Digestifs: The Sweet and Lowdown on
After-Dinner Drinks

Abstaining for Epicures:
What to Drink if You're Not Drinking

WINE: UNCORKED
TAKING BABY STEPS IN YOUR WINE EDUCATION

911 for Wine Novices:
Calling in the Professionals

What's Your Wine Type?
Picking for Your Pleasure

The In-Crowd Wines:
No-Brainers Everyone Knows

How to Define a Wine:
Sounding Like a Wine Snob

The Dynamic Duo: Two Principles for
Pairing Wine and Food

The Six Ss of Wine-Tasting:
See, Swirl, Smell, Swill, Slurp, Spit

When Bad Wine Happens to Good People:
Spottingand Sending BackFunky Bottles

Three Ways to Get Wine Smart:
Understanding Labels, Regions, and Grapes

Champagne and Sparkling Wine:
Bubbly for Beginners

PASTURE TO PLATE
the best of four-legged, feathered,
and finned food

Meat Market: A Carnivore's Guide to Beef,
Pork, Lamb, and Veal

A Field Guide to Birds:
Capons and Grouse and OstrichOh My!

Fish Out of Water: Netting the Best Fish,
Shellfish, and Seafood

SEASON'S EATING
THINKING GLOBALLY, EATING LOCALLY

Getting Fresh:
Spotting Seasonal and Green Menus

Eat Your Vegetables:
Peak Seasons for the Plants on Your Plate

Not Your Garden Variety: Freaky Veggies
Restaurants Love to Serve

Unforbidden Fruits: Peak Seasons for
Mother Nature's Candy

Herbs and Aromatics: Knowing Herbes de
Provence from Bouquet Garni

SAY FROMAGE
A FINE DINER'S GRAND FINALE: THE CHEESE COURSE

Got Lactose? The Milk That
Makes the Cheese

From Milk to Mold to Mmmm: How Cheese
Is Made (in 500 Words or Less)

Cheese-Spotting:
How Cheese Is Classified

The Cheese Course: How to Fit le Frontage
into a Full-Course Meal

Three Ways to Pair Wine and Cheese:
The Making of a Great Match

LOST IN TRANSLATION
THE STATE OF FINE DINING AND MODERN CUISINE

Classic French 101:
Cookin It Old School

Japanese: The New School in
Fine Dining

Everything You Need to Know About
Sake (for Now)

Con-Fusion Cuisine:
How to Approach a Fusion Meal

Molecular Gastronomy: From Steak Foam to
Inkjet Sushi, Today's Haute Cuisine

PALATE PREP
USING ALL FIVE SENSES IN A CULINARY ORGY

Your Best Buds: The Difference
Between Taste and Flavor

Food Boosters: How to Enhance a
Gourmet Feast

Feed Your Mind:
The Brain-Belly Connection

WHAT THE FOOD SNOBS KNOW
UBIQUITOUS CULINARY INSTITUTIONS IN FINE DINING

Chef's Corner:
Who's Who in Fine Dining

Culinary Schools and Organizations:
Fundamental Food Institutions

Find Dining:
Guides to Fancy Restaurants

EATIQUETTE
DEAR MORTAL: THINGS YOUR MAMA PROBABLY TAUGHT YOU (BUT YOU FORGOT)

Picture it if you will: Christmas Day, 2002, New York City. I am standing at the corner of 60th Street and Central Park West with my very significant other. We are on the threshold of Jean Georges, one of the snazziest and most expensive restaurants in Manhattan. I have waited (and waited) for an occasion that would justify a meal of such extravagance, such expense. Our pending move is the perfect excuse. This is our last blowout meal as residents of New York City. Snow is falling, blanketing the grime that lies beneath the powdery whiteness. Everything is surreally perfect, just as I imagined this moment would be. Except I am suddenly nervous about eating in such a chichi restaurant. I am convinced that theythe excessively polished and polite staffwill refuse to let us in. The host will take one look at us and shoo us away with a sniff and a half-raised eyebrow. Or, we will be shuffled off to a table far, far away and our waiter will hate us because we mispronounce foie gras and can barely afford the cheapest bottle of wine on the list. I will feel like a bona fide hayseed if I butter my bread the wrong way or use the wrong fork. They will see right through us, I think. We are not worthy.

I had what I now know to be a common fine dining condition: Fancy-Pants Restaurant Panic. For many a Mere Mortal, fine dining creates needless anxiety about things like whether you're using your knife the right way or where to put your napkin when you leave the table. As I walked through the weighty glass doors of Jean Georges, my excited anticipation of the meal withered into nervous angst over details. Should we tip the guy who carries our wineglass from the bar to the table? How do we pick a bottle of wine from a list the size of a phone book? Will people stare if I swap a piece of salmon for a nibble of my date's braised beef cheek? Where did that spoon come from and, God help me, what am I supposed to do with it? The food was sublime, but the meal was nerve-racking because I didn't have all of the tools to fully enjoy the experience.

Like walking into the Met or the Guggenheim, strolling into a swanky dining room has a way of making most of us feel out of place and unsophisticated. Whether you are puzzling over Bordeaux vintages or Mona Lisa's smile, feeling like an uncultured clod punctures the thrill of the experience. Maybe you nod and smile a little too much. Or you wonder if you put the napkin in your lap too soon. You pretend to read the wine list (but really only scan the price list). You agonize over ordering a French dish because you will mangle the pronunciation, and fear the waiter will roll his eyes or guffaw at your ignorance. In no time, you are totally preoccupied by the fact that You. Just. Don't. Get. It. You spend so much of the meal worrying about looking naive and being swindled or committing some heinous etiquette disaster that you wind up overlooking the best part of the meal: eating a multicourse masterpiece.