Tommy Tighe - How to Catholic Family: Nurturing Faith in the Messiness of Everyday Life

HOW TO:
CATHOLIC
FAMILY

Nurturing Faith
in the Messiness
of Everyday Life

TOMMY & KAREN TIGHE

Copyright 2019 Tommy and Karen Tighe

All rights reserved.

Published by The Word Among Us Press

7115 Guilford Drive, Suite 100

Frederick, Maryland 21704

wau.org

23 22 21 20 191 2 3 4 5

eISBN: 978-1-59325-006-5

Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All rights reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Excerpts from the English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for the United States of America copyright 1994, United States Conference of Catholic BishopsLibreria Editrice Vaticana. English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church: Modifications from the Editio Typica copyright 1997, United States Conference of Catholic BishopsLibreria Editrice Vaticana.

Cover design by Faceout Studios, Derek Thornton

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the author and publisher.

Made and printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018967881

Acknowledgments

We can only hope that this book is as much fun to read as it was to write.

Doing a project together was such a blessing for us, and we feel grateful for the opportunity to have worked on it with the lovely team at The Word Among Us Press. First and foremost, we have to thank Beth McNamara, the publisher of the Press. Beth reached out to us and asked if we had any interest in writing this book, even though were seriously unqualified, and she helped us every single step of the way.

Next, we have to thank our children: James, Paul, Andrew, and Luke. If it werent for these loving, beautiful children, where would we have gotten all the great stories for this book? They constantly surprise us with their love, inspire us to be better, and put up with us even though were so far from perfect.

Luke, our fourth son, who died shortly after his birth in 2016, has touched us in a different way, showing us the path to unconditional love and bringing us closer to the Lord than we ever could have imagined. In his short life, he taught us how to love, and he continues to guide us to love the Lord with all our hearts, so that we can be open to all God has for us.

And thank you to all of you, the readers of this book! We hope that you have some fun and will find at least a couple of our ideas interesting and helpful enough to give them a shot in your own family.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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INTRODUCTION

W e rushed from the minivan into Mass, genuflected before stuffing ourselves into the front pew, and felt quite an immense sense of accomplishment because the priest was still walking down the aisle. Successfully getting a family with three young children to Mass on time feels like winning the gold medal of Catholic parenting.

It was only during the second reading that we noticed that our eight-year-old had oatmeal all over his face, our five-year-old was wearing two left shoes, and our three-year-old was holding two swords that he had made with Knex prior to leaving the house.

Well, at least we made it on time, right?

When the Word Among Us asked if we would work together on a how-to book to help families lead a faith-filled and faith-focused life, we had the obvious reaction: what in the world could we possibly offer others trying to grow in their Catholic faith as a family?! That question seemed like a great place to start

Raising a family while striving to pass on a love for the Catholic faith can feel like trying to build a plane while youre flying it. We catch ourselves making things up as we go along, trying our best to get things right, and most often reflecting at the end of the day on all the ways we failed to meet our unrealistically high expectations. This humbling reality seemed like another great place to start.

In his Second Letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul reminds us of something we so often forget while were mired in recurring thoughts about our failures as parents:

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

So take heart, fellow weak Catholic parents, as you pray for strength in the face of tantrums, diapers, and battles over eating all the veggies on the plate. God is closer than you think. As you lie in bed at night reviewing the times you have fallen short, make an effort to remember that God will reveal his strength in your weakness.

Easier said than done, right?

This book is a journey into the heart of a Catholic family trying to make sense of the suffering but always taking time to be joyful and sillyeven when were late for Mass. Through it allthe baths, meals, school, homework, random wardrobe changes, stepping on Legos, tucking kids into bed fourteen times per night, folding piles of laundry, picking up the housewe make an effort to incorporate the beauty and importance of our Catholic faith.

Are you ready for some hilarious stories? Are you ready for some helpful ideas? Are you ready to tuck the kids into bed, pray they dont wake up fifteen minutes later, pour yourself a margarita, and settle in to learn some tips about how to bring Catholicism into your familys day-to-day life?

If so, lets begin!

ONE

DO AS I SAY AND AS I DO

Nourishing your own faith is integral to passing it on to your children.

N either of us will ever forget the night that we were awake in the wee hours of the morning with our firstborn. Karen was vacuuming, and Tommy had two-month-old James strapped into his car seat, swinging it back and forth in order to lull the baby to sleep. This was supposed to work. It was in the parenting book, and we had tried absolutely everything else.

We looked at each other and burst into tears. We were failing miserably, and it was only the beginning of our parenting life. This was supposed to be the easy part, or so we thought. But the tough nights and inconsistent sleep went on month after month, until the baby was about two and a half.

Before we had James, we were the perfect parents. We had read all the books, knew all the answers, and had heaps of patience. But everything we thought we knew about parenthood suddenly seemed irrelevant when James arrived. Like most new parents, we were terrified to even walk out of the hospital with that tiny baby.

If ever there was a baby who caused his parents to eat humble pie, James was it. He fussed a lot, hardly napped, and was a restless sleeper during the nightevery night. We found ourselves struggling to be the parents we thought we should be. And we were exhausted. We didnt have the right answer for how to soothe him. We didnt have the right answer for how to get him to sleep. We didnt have the right answer for anything.

Our parenting has evolved as weve added to the family and the kids have gotten olderbeing parents has become both easier and harder with each milestone and year that passes. The perfect answers never seem to come at just the right timewhen we realize something has got to change, we find ourselves learning the hard way, through trial and error.