Stuart OKeeffe - Cook It, Spill It, Throw It: The Not-So-Real Housewives Parody Cookbook

This book is not affiliated with and has not been authorized, licensed, or sponsored by any person appearing on the Real Housewivestelevision series or any entity involved in the production or distribution of the series, including the Bravo network.

Products and trademarks are used in this book to describe and inform the reader about various products owned by third parties. These third parties do not endorse the information contained in the book, and no endorsement is implied by the authors references to their products or trademarks. The Real Housewives is a registered trademark of Bravo Media LLC.

COOK IT , SPILL IT , THROW IT . Copyright 2021 by Stuart OKeeffe and Amy Phillips. Foreword 2021 by Andy Cohen. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Cover design by Richard L. Aquan

Cover photography by The Riker Brothers

Arrow illustrations by Rebellion Works/Shutterstock, Inc

All food photographs, unless credited otherwise, are courtesy of Michael and Aline Hulswit.

FIRST EDITION

Digital Edition NOVEMBER 2021 ISBN: 978-0-06-304094-6

Version 10292021

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-303999-5

Stuart:

To my mom, Margaret OKeeffe,

the realest housewife out there

Amy:

To Baby Dawter

W HETHER YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT, FOOD PLAYS A VERY IMPORTANTrole on The Real Housewives. For years we have purposely not edited out the ordering portion of the Wives meals because we think what they eat says so much about who they are and how they interact with the world. I remember marveling at an early episode of RHONJas Jacqueline Laurita ordered a steak at a diner and recall with fondness the time on RHONYwhen Sonja insisted Luann buy a blender to fuel her juicing obsession.

Think of how many key moments in the Housewiveslexicon have involved food. A cakewas the cause of blowouts in OC (You took the BOW off my CAKE?!) andJersey. In fact, if you close your eyes you can still hear Siggy Flicker freaking out about the destruction of the gorgeous cake she ordered for Melissa.

Jerseys roots were born in food: The ham game, sprinkle cookies, and Teresas slam of Caroline in her cookbook all provided kindling for raging fires in the early years of the show. THE table flip happened at the dinner table. Beverly Hillss dinner party from hell happened after dinner. (By the way, what didCamille serve that night to make them all go hog wild?!?!)

Lest we forget about New York, the Big Apple was where we first heard about the Skinnygirl margarita, and where we first met Lu and pondered eggs la Franaise. Or the reverence we all have for Lisa Vanderpumps establishments.

With Comedian Amy and Chef Stuart at the helm, this tasty tribute to the Housewivesthat you currently hold in your hands is equal parts funny and delicious with a dash of irreverence, hold the lime. Whether its a Toaster Oven Tart to commemorate Sonjas unique cooking habits, or a Henny-thing Can Happen cocktail for Porsha, the recipes contained in this book are hilarious, easy to prepare, and packed with jokes about each city, from Potomac to Beverly Hills.

This is all a long, blathering way of telling you that food makes up the fabric of The Real Housewives, and that its so slyly brilliant that Amy and Stuart are bringing you closer to living like a Housewife through this book...