Alice Sheldon - Why Werent We Taught This at School?

What people are saying

I wish Id been taught this in school. Its life-changing stuff not just for you, but for those around you. These are skills, once learnt and practised, that will unquestionably improve the quality of your life.

Tony Hawks MBE, TV and radio comedian and bestselling author, including Round Ireland with a Fridge

This book has so much to teach us all about building connections and understanding through the simple, but often neglected, act of listening really listening to other people. And to ourselves. At a time when so many of us have become isolated, with only a screen for company, the timing of this book could not be better. It is a tool box. Keep it close at hand and dip in often.

Jim Carter OBE and Imelda Staunton CBE, actors

Why Werent We Taught This at School? is the right question. Knowing that behind all troublesome behavior we express, or experience with others, lurks an unmet need that is looking for satisfaction brings clarity to nearly every human interaction. And that is exactly what Alice Sheldon does in this aptly titled book. Anyone reading it will find their experience put in the context of need satisfaction along with a process for identifying and satisfying those needs. Recommended for everyone.

Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, co-authors of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

From the world of business

Alice Sheldons insightful book examines the obstacles that we commonly encounter in our interactions with others. Her solution is brilliant, easy to understand and applies with equal force in personal and professional contexts. This is an invaluable toolkit for honest, compassionate and effective communication.

Sharif Shivji QC, barrister specialising in commercial law

The ability to build and sustain relationships with a wide range of people is an essential skill in business in order to get things done. By using the tools outlined in this book, managers at all levels of seniority can foster the kind of environment in which people feel engaged and can give their best, finding creative and efficient solutions in seemingly intractable situations. A must-read book for 21st century leaders.

John Odell, director of one of the Big Four professional services firms

At last Alice Sheldon has put her brilliant Needs Understanding approach into a book! It has been my go-to framework for helping leaders on how to have difficult conversations for many years. Whilst Emotional Intelligence frameworks help with empathic awareness and even self-regulation, Needs Understanding goes further in providing a simple, practical, yet powerfully transformative approach to solve problems where no one loses out, relationships remain intact and everyone flourishes. This clear, practical, yet profound book will help you see relationship-building, creative strategising and problem-solving without compromise in a completely new light. Applying the concepts in Why Werent We Taught This at School? is one of the most powerful things you can do to transform your relationships and contribute to a more healthy, joyful, sustainable world.

Heather Monro, executive coach, Brightspace

Now, more than ever, we need to lean towards each other, developing more trusting and genuine relationships with work colleagues, with friends and with family members. This book is packed with personal stories, insightful examples and practical skills to demonstrate empathy and build collaborative solutions.

Mark Pilkington, sales and marketing leader in the travel and leisure industry

A really accessible and engaging read, with lots of practical suggestions to enable improved outcomes and results for all parties. Alices experience in this field really shows, and makes a clear case for the benefit of adopting Needs Understanding in both work and home environments.

Matthew Wait, chief financial officer of a leading global education firm

This is one of the most impactful books I have read for many years. Simple lessons and practices that can change the way we engage with ourselves and with each other, and yet Why Werent We Taught This at School? Instead we struggle and bumble through our lives not really understanding how things work. This book opens our eyes and gives us a manual on how to get our lives off the ground, and be the really wonderful human beings that we were born to be.

Veronica Munro, international executive coach, author, and artist

From the world of education

This book is so beautifully written and reminds me of all the things I thought I knew, but somehow do not manage to keep live in my head at every interaction. I reflect on recent conversations when I should have known better, and yet somehow got drawn into being less than my best self. Without judgement, and with huge compassion, Alice empathises with readers like me because shes been there too. I can see that this is a book I will want to return to again and again.

Dr Belinda Hopkins, author of The Restorative Classroom and director of Transforming Conflict

This is such a refreshing book. Alice wants us to understand ourselves, and how our needs impact our communication and relationships, and this oozes out of the book in such a skilful way. For anyone who works with humans of any age, or is a human, this book is transformational. My hope is that this is what the next generations will learn at school.

Lily Horseman, chair, Forest Schools Association

Alice has written a book that is easy to read, describing simple strategies that are easy to apply. It makes you wonder why we dont all do this already! With every page, I found myself thinking, I must share this with This is a timely book, landing at a time when mental health issues are increasingly prominent and when we seem to be bombarded with disharmony and disagreement in the media. It should be essential reading for our political leaders.

Adam Barber, head, Henleaze Junior School

A timely, compassionate and pragmatic reminder of the lessons which matter most; essential reading for all who teach and lead in schools, or wish theyd been taught differently themselves.

Fionnuala Kennedy, head, Wimbledon High School

Alice Sheldon lives what she writes; this book is built on her thorough exploration of simple and powerful principles and tools, full of examples and insights of everyday life experiences. It is an art to be able to write in such a clear and structured form, easy to read and to concretely try out in our daily lives. A practical inspiration to make a difference in relationships with ourselves, with others and in the local and global political and economic structures we live in.

Gabriele Grunt, co-founder of ECHT Communication and trainer for teacher and parent education

From the world of conflict resolution

A beautifully simple guide to the relationship skills we all so deeply need, but most of us dont know how to access. This book belongs firmly on the curriculum for creating a more peaceful world.

Dr Scilla Elworthy, three times nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize and founder of the Business Plan for Peace

This book offers a rich analysis of compassionate and empathetic forms of communication. In a world so divided, devoting thought and care to transforming conflict and nurturing relationships seems more necessary than ever. The Needs Understanding framework is therefore a timely treasure trove.