Christine Carter - The New Adolescence

Contents

Praise for The New Adolescence

Mixing cutting-edge science with humor and personally earned wisdom, Christine Carter makes a convincing case that we need to step up our parenting with our teens. Fortunately, she also tells us how to do so in The New Adolescence in ways that seem not just possible in our busy lives, but deeply practical and empowering for both parents and adolescents.

Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Brainstorm, Aware, and coauthor of The Power of Showing Up

Christine Carter truly gets teenagers.The New Adolescence is a sane, informative, and helpful book that I will be gifting over and over. It has already made me a better parentand a happier one, too.

Jessica Lahey, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure

Dr. Carter brings her wonderful blend of solid science, practical suggestions, and warm encouragement to the biggest challenge most parents face: raising teenagers these days. The New Adolescence is both deep and accessible, comprehensive and fast-paced, and honoring of adolescents and respectful of parents needs for reasonable authority.

Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, and Buddhas Brain

Christine Carter has spent the last two decades honing the art and studying the science of effective parenting. This hands-on book is the guide every parent of teenagers needs.

Susan Stiffelman, MFT, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles and Parenting with Presence (an Eckhart Tolle Edition)

With solid research, relatable storytelling, and practical strategies and tactics, Christine Carter provides teens, parents, and families with the lifelines they need to create meaning, fulfillment, and the human connection that makes real life worth living. In this confusing and often terrifying brave new world, The New Adolescence comes as welcome and hopeful relief.

Brigid Schulte, New York Times bestselling author of Overwhelmed and director of The Better Life Lab at New America

If youre an American parent looking for helpful best practices in raising a teenager in this age of fractured attention and uncertain promise, youll find sound advice in Christine Carters The New Adolescence.

Arlie Hochschild, author of The Second Shift and The Time Bind

An essential primer on how to optimally parent teens. Christine Carter tells the raw truth about the current adolescent landscape, but instead of further freaking us out, The New Adolescence gives hope, as well as the road map for how to guide teens in this age of accelerated change. This book is a gift to parents who want to help kids when theyre struggling, and who want to ensure that were raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted people.

Tina Payne Bryson, New York Times bestselling author of The Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline

Christine Carters superpower is that shes a scientist, coach, and master parent all in one. Her unique gift is taking the research you dont have time to read and converting it into common sense you can use right away. I had so many underlining moments where I thought, I cant wait to try that one!

Rachel Simmons, New York Times bestselling author of Odd Girl Out

When youre worried about your childs happiness or anxieties, theres no better person to turn to than Christine Carter. Her smart and practical advice is always both immediately relevant and immediately accessible, making her an important voice in a changing parenting landscape.

KJ DellAntonia, author of How to Be a Happier Parent and former lead editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog

Its hard to overestimate the importance of this book. In The New Adolescence, Christine Carter is addressing a topic that is vital to us as parents, grandparents, educators, and policy makers. A tsunami of anxiety and depression is surging upon todays teenagers, and Carter, as always, offers data, interprets the trends and causes, and then offers us constructive strategies to confidently and compassionately raise whole and healthy children.

Jennifer Granholm, former governor of Michigan, and Dan Mulhern, leadership expert

A new parenting classicThe New Adolescence is an illuminating and deeply researched book for anyone hoping to raise teens who know how to find meaning, fulfillment, and lasting joy.

Shawn Achor, author of Big Potential, and Michelle Gielan, author of Broadcasting Happiness

Also by Christine Carter, PhD

Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents

The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less

The events and conversations in this book, while true, are recreated from the authors memory. In certain instances, names and places have been changed to protect an individuals privacy.

The New Adolescence copyright 2020 by Christine Carter

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

BenBella Books, Inc.

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First E-Book Edition: February 2020

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019031914

ISBN 9781948836548 (trade paper)

ISBN 9781948836791 (electronic)

Editing by Joe Rhatigan

Copyediting by Karen Wise

Proofreading by Lisa Story and Ashley Casteel

Indexing by Debra Bowman

Text design by Publishers Design & Production Services, Inc.

Text composition by PerfecType, Nashville, TN

Cover design by Oceana Garceau

Cover images iStock / nndanko (shoes), photopsist (glass), and alexey_boldin (phone)

Author photo by Blake Farrington

Printed by Lake Book Manufacturing

Distributed to the trade by Two Rivers Distribution, an Ingram brand www.tworiversdistribution.com

Special discounts for bulk sales are available. Please contact .

For Macie, Fiona, Tanner, and AmaliaI love you forever and ever no matter what.

Contents

T his is a terrifying time to be a parent.

Teens today are suffering from an epidemic of anguish that cannot be ignored. Fewer than half of todays teens would rate their own mental health as excellent or very good. Last year, almost one-third of high schoolers felt so sad or hopeless that they stopped doing their usual activities almost every day for two or more weeks in a row. Nearly 20 percent seriously considered suicide.

While weve always known that teenagers can be moody, this is not what we are seeing here. Nor are we now newly detecting problems that have been in our society all along. The number of American adolescents who reported having had major depression in the preceding year has increased 52 percent since 2005, with the largest increases coming after 2011. The number of teens who visited emergency rooms for suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts